Hi there, Thank you for your response.
It sounds like you suffer from anxiety and depression.
To note, if you have ADHD, you also have anxiety and depression.
Perhaps, you went through a lot emotionally in childhood as you stated you had so many family problems in childhood. You may also have been under lots of stress from work. You are a web programmer and spends more than 6 hours online. You stated you are very very angry and reactive to all. You have trouble seeing good things in your life and focus on problems all the time. You are worried about your future a lot. You seem to have clinical anxiety and depression based on your report. Perhaps, you are perfectionist and are hard on yourself. It's not uncommon for people of your age to develop anxiety and depression due to work stress, relationships and life transitions.
In any case, I would advise you to start working with a psychologist specializing in anxiety/depression and Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT). CBT works for ADD/ADHD as well as anxiety and depression.
Symptoms of anxiety overlap those of depression. Let me explain: Depression can disrupt the nerve impulses that carry a constant stream of orders from the brain to the muscles. When the depressed brain slows down, so do the signals to all parts of body. Depression affects MEMORY, problem-solving ability, language, perception and is accompanied by nervous tension, anxiety, and profound fatigue. It can generate pain and aches. Medical reasons for Depression may include thyroid hormone abnormality, Vitamin B12 Deficiency, Chronic pain, Stroke (Brain injury), Alzheimer’s disease to name a few. Malnutrition/brain damage can dull mood further. You are physically healthy. So, your anxiety and depression may be psychological issues. Excessive alcohol use and smoking may aggravate anxiety and depression. I would advise you to see a psychotherapist to express and process your feelings and thoughts and get advice and support WEEKLY. A combination of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy are considered to be effective to treat Depression and anxiety. Cognitive-behvaior therapy (CBT) will work for depression and anxiety. You may ask your doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that you can work with weekly. Or you may call your insurance company and get a list of providers (licensed psychologists or psychotherapists) in your area. Or, you can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy and Depression. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee. Regarding pharmacological treatment for depression anxiety, a number of antidepressant and antianxiety medications are available to treat anxiety and depression. Finding the right medication for you will likely take some trial and error. It is necessary for you and your doctor to work together to find the right medication for you. Also, a heart-healthy diet like Omega 3 fatty acid may improve your brain functioning and mood. Focus on fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Choose low-fat protein sources, such as fish, lean meat and skinless poultry. Hydrate yourself during daytime. Physical activity increases blood flow to your whole body, including your brain. This may help improve your mood. In addition, yoga, biofeedback, acupuncture, and massage therapy may be helpful to improve your mood and reduce anxiety. Other recommendations are: Avoid excess use of alcohol and drugs. Sleep in complete darkness and try to be out in bright light during the day. Spend time in nature weekly Try to have pleasurable activities with friends and family. Choose to listen to sounds that have positive effects on your mood. Set limits on the amount of time you spend on the internet to avoid information overload. I hope you get well. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,