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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Over the past 4 years of my marriage my wife has accused me

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Over the past 4 years of my marriage my wife has accused me of looking at women and trying to communicate with them useing secret signs and eye contact every month. No matter how much i have denied this she wont believe me. Every time she accuses me it makes me more and more angry and worried.It has come to the point over the past few years were i try to avoid looking in the direction of women to such extremes as looking down at tables out of windows anything to try prevent her from going intointo one of her rages. I have to do this when ever we go anywere we can not go out to socailise because she accuse me of trying to get off with her friends or anyone else she seems to fixate on it is totaly random and 90% of the time i do not even know who she is talking about. The last straw was just recently when we went on holiday with my sisters family i thought i was safe and sure she would not accuse me of trying to flirt or make contact with my own sister but it was worse she claimed i was trying to looking pervertly at my 13 year old  niece  and that both of us my niece and me were makeing secret arrangements to meet. The idea sickens me more than anything that has happened over the past years and no matter how much i plead and beg with her that none of what she is seeing or thinking is true she just wont believe me or listen I am desperate at this point as the last case is very serious and could end our marriage I do not know if this is an illness or if it is common.      

I always have to base advice on the information I am given. Sometimes this is accurate and sometimes it isn't. If your wife is accusing you continually this can be based on a person who is very insecure. They project their insecurities into situations. There is no disorder that specifically targets accusing a mate of infidelity but it can be a symptom of larger problems. Since she is accusing you of predatory type behavior that can be a very serious problem even if you aren't guilty. I would suggest that you both find a relationship counselor to hash this out since your view and her view are very different. I don't know who is really at fault here but this could resolve whatever is happening so the relationship can return to a positive one. You don't want to wait until something drastic happens before asking for help. If she wants the relationship she will be willing to go as well. Find out why this dynamic is happening. It is common for women and men to feel jealous but this is too extreme. This is based on a deeper issue and that has to be resolved.

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