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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2820
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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i was in a relationship we split up last january we saw each

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i was in a relationship we split up last january we saw each other for 8 months before that the last 3 months he started pulling away i thought i was being to needy and demanding i would show up at his house unanouced and i dont think he liked that anyway i went over there in jan and he was with another women i realyy let him have it he just stood there hardley said anything because previouley i asked him if wanted to date other people and he said no we both came out of a bad divorce 2 yrs ago anyway 8 months have past and we havent talked i found out hes living with someone and shes really fat and wears no makeup and works at a prison i consider myself attrictive i just dont understand and i dont know what to do i really miss him i have no desire to date anybody right now i would like to talk to him tell me what to do my friend tells me he needs to grow up hes 51 next month and im 52 please help

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

I am sorry to hear of the pain you are in around this. it seems to me as if he is where he wants to be and although that is painful there may not be a lot you can do.


 


 

CoachJenK :

you seem to want different things and your styles dont match up quite well. If he thinks you are needy and demanding then that is not likely to change. And if he has already been with another woman while dating you, then that behavior isnt likely to change either.


 

CoachJenK :

I know you care for him and miss him but you may do better by trying to heal and move on.


 

CoachJenK :

not easy I know, but if he is living with someone no matter what she looks like, it seems his mind is clear.


 

CoachJenK :

are you here with me?


 

Customer:

yes i am its just hard to look at that right now i thought he really cared about me


 

CoachJenK :

I know how hard it is. I am sure he did care in the way that he was capable.


 

CoachJenK :

but you deserve to be in a relationship that is mutual without your man cheating on you.


 

Customer:

its only been 8 months and its something you just dont get over

CoachJenK :

No and you may not ever get over that love but you can heal from it and care for yourself.


 

CoachJenK :

you may always feel the deep love but in time it can ease up.


 

CoachJenK :

he hasnt contacted you in 8 months?


 

Customer:

thats what ive doing just taking care of myself anyway thank you for your advice no he hasnt contact me he did come into my sisters work the other day with that women i figure he was trying to make me jealous

CoachJenK :

I am sorry that he did that as that is not very care-taking. You can always take the chance and call or write him and let him know how you miss him and would love another chance and see if he is responsive to that.


 

CoachJenK :

would that be something you would want to do?

Customer:

thank you i might try that anyway thank you for your help i appreciate it

CoachJenK :

I hope it works out for you and your pain lessens. You deserve to feel happy. My best to you.


 

Customer:

thank you again

CoachJenK :

my pleasure.


 

Customer:

i guess im done

CoachJenK :

please take a moment to click on the rating tab. My goal has been to give you excellent support. I know the answer may not have been exactly what you wanted to hear, but my goal is always to give an honest and supportive answer.


 

TherapistJen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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