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Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1755
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
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Can you help explain why I feel this way? I struggle to wake

Resolved Question:

Can you help explain why I feel this way? I struggle to wake up on a morning and I always wake feeling tired. I never feel full of energy. I then feel like I need more sleep mid morning and if I do go to bed I can sleep for 3 to 4 hours then wake up feeling marginally better. But the tiredness soon returns and I sleep all night. I often don't feel like seeing people as I find them draining. Am I depressed? What is wrong?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

Has this been going on for a while? was there something that you can remember that caused these feelings?


 

CoachJenK :

hi


 

Customer: Hi I first experienced this around five gets ago and my G.P said I was suffering from "Fatigue" he gave me a sick note for work to give me a week off. I did feel better afterwards but this comes over me on and off.
CoachJenK :

It sounds to me that you are dealing with some depression as is evidenced by your feeling sleepy most of the time, lack of desire to be with others and having to push yourself to to ordinary things.


 

CoachJenK :

You can and deserve to feel better with this.


 

CoachJenK :

my first thought would be for you to consult with a therapist so you can have a safe place to process and sort our your feelings.


 

CoachJenK :

If they then fel that you should have a consult for medication then they will recommend that but I do believe you can and will feel better if we get you the right help.


 

Customer: I don't feel sad, I don't think? I really don't have anything to feel sad about.
CoachJenK :

sometimes we cant always put a finger on what we are feeling and depression can show itself in the ways that you are mentioning. Not wanting to be with others and finding it draining can all be a part of it.


 

Customer: I am not sure whether that is just part of my personality make up though.
CoachJenK :

did you used to enjoy others?


 

CoachJenK :

how is your diet?


 

CoachJenK :

my internet froze up and kicked me off. Sorry about that.


 

CoachJenK :

are you still with me?


 

Customer: Somewhat yes. But I have always found most people hard to listen to as I find smalltalk boring and I often feel that others are less intelligent than myself. Therefore, their nonsense quickly drains me. So in reality this is not something new. The wanting to sleep more than usual is the problem that is starting to make me feel as though maybe I could be depressed? Or maybe it is a lack of vitamins in my daily diet.
CoachJenK :

If you heat high amounts of sugar, you could feel sluggish and tired but to me it sounds deeper and could be an underlying depression and the best option would be for you to speak with someone locally to go through it all so you can be properly helped.


 

Customer: Yes, as for my diet the only thing I know I am lacking is probably vegetables. I dont eat many, I could eat more.
CoachJenK :

I think creating a healthy diet can help but I do believe this is deeper than that.


 

CoachJenK :

I just received a poor rating....how can i support you?


 

Customer: Ok, should I contact my G.P to get referred to someone who specialises in depression?
CoachJenK :

I am giving you my best thoughts....lets keep working so you can feel satisfied.


 

CoachJenK :

did oyu mean to give my work a poor rating?


 

CoachJenK :

*you


 

Customer: I think you stated you believed I was depressed because I am on this site asking you whether I could be.
CoachJenK :

I am confused. You asked if you could be depressed and I was giving you my professional opinion stating that beased on all that you were saying that i was also agreeing that yes it could be depression.


 

CoachJenK :

I believe it needs to be looked into, but I am not sure how that is poor service on my part.


 

CoachJenK :

Sometimes we agree with what your thoughts are and in this case I do believe that you have some depressive issues that should be looked into and more than just fatigue as i believe the fatigue is a symptom of the depression. Does that make sense?


 

CoachJenK :

I would be remiss to say that I didnt think it was depression and you needed more vitamins...that approach I do not agree with. while I believe in vitamins and a healthy diet, I believe there is more to what you are feeling.


 

Customer: It is just like when I go to the dr and tell him I feel tired he prescribes me pills because that is what Dr's do. You have not asked anything about my lifestyle to determine whether I am suffering with depression just said it would be a good idea to see someone, I could have worked that out for myself really.
CoachJenK :

I have asked about your lifestyle in terms of your diet, being with people and how long has it been going on and have you always felt this way.


 

CoachJenK :

but the important thing here and now is that you dont feel supported and we can look at this exchange to further show us how some interactions with others are hard for you.....and why that may be.


 

CoachJenK :

I am interested in knowing all that you feel and how I can best help and support you.


 

CoachJenK :

If you said to me in your question....I am depressed, I see someone and its not helping, we had some stuff to look at, so I was making the suggestion that you see someone other than your GP as it was clear you hadn't yet.


 

CoachJenK :

As I said, my goal is to help and support you and not have you feel frustrated.


 

CoachJenK :

How old are you? married? kids?


 

Customer: Ok, maybe I should add that I have a 16 month old baby and have just moved house.
CoachJenK :

yes that is extremely helpful. Having a 16 month old baby is draining for sure. Moving can also add some incredible stress. did you have postpartum after the baby was born?


 

CoachJenK :

do you have a partner or are you the sole care take of your baby?


 

Customer: I am married with one 16 month old baby daughter and I am 35.
CoachJenK :

any postpartum depression after she was born?


 

Customer: I did not suffer from any baby blues, but did feel tired due to sleepless nights and recovering from a c section.
CoachJenK :

ok so here are some of my additional thoughts....


 

CoachJenK :

I believe you are a mom who is doing a great job taking care of your baby, managing a house move, and that by itself is exhausting and can make any of us irritable. If you are not taking enough time for yourself, which is not uncommon, then maybe we need to look at ways where we can put in some YOU time so you can feel refreshed and energized rather than drained. When we do that, we become a better mom. It is hard to take it for ourselves because we feel like we are not doing our best, XXXXX XXXXX are.


 

CoachJenK :

If making some of these small changes dont help in improving the irritability and feeling drained then I would still see someone, but I do believe having some enriching and energizing time for yourself could help and if it doesnt then we know where we stand.


 

CoachJenK :

tell me your thoughts and whether you are getting enough you time.


 

Customer: It's a tricky one. I recently gave up work to care for our baby, my husband saw how much our baby gained from being with us both on our annual holiday, so I became a full time mum which I love. So on one hand I feel that by not having to work I am less stressed trying to juggle working, being a mum and running a household. However, I never have just me time it's always my and baby time or me and husband time or all three of us together. My me time is when my baby takes a nap! I agree that I need to arrange something maybe once a week when I do something just for me to enjoy.
CoachJenK :

You can also take a look here and see if your feelings indicate depression as well. http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx


 

CoachJenK :

yes you are really getting to it now. It is not enough to have you time while she is napping...its just not enough for you.


 

CoachJenK :

I am a Mom of 3 year old twins and if I dont take that time, I am less able to be the great mom I have always desired to be. I feel tired, irritable and a bit short with others. I force myself to exercise and get refreshed in that way.


 

CoachJenK :

So even though you are not working that does not mean you aren't working...you are working harder than any full time job in an office as this is the hardest job you will ever love.


 

CoachJenK :

If you choose to look for a therapist you can access this. http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/counselling/pages/accesstotherapy.aspx


 

CoachJenK :

sometimes even having a therapist and a place to go each week to talk, emote and just be can be helpful as well.


 

Customer: I somehow feel more tired being a stay at home mum, than juggling work etc. I don't feel stressed and anxious, instead I just feel tired and thoughts of "am I depressed".
CoachJenK :

because it is exhausting being at home with a 16 month old...somehow we all got a message somewhere that we arent supposed to feel that and we are supermom...we are not.


 

Customer: Thanks. I will take a look at the links you have sent to me.
CoachJenK :

It is my pleasure. I am glad you were able to provide the fuller picture so we were able to explore it all. I do hope I have earned a positive rating. I am here to support you anytime you need.


 

CoachJenK :

And I am sorry I did not dig deeper initially


...

Customer: I feel you have pushed me in the right direction. I hate to think I could be depressed as I know how lucky I am to have a great husband who is letting me stay home to care for our daughter. It's what I wanted but did not want him to feel like I have piled financial pressure onto him, which he doesn't he wants me and our daughter to be happy.
CoachJenK :

Great. we have a great starting point and if you put things into place for yourself and feel that these feelings still exist then you know that in addition to it there could be an underlying depression. The other thing to mention is that although you love being a mom, there is n


othing wrong with loving that but still finding more of the challenge and energy being at work outside the home. Something to think of in the future.

CoachJenK :

*nothing


 

CoachJenK :

I do hope you will check back in with me sometime soon to let me know how you are doing and how you are feeling.


 

CoachJenK :

When we are done and hopefully you provide a different rating, you will get a copy of this so you dont have to remember all of the information.


 

Customer: I will thanks for chatting
CoachJenK :

my pleasure.


 

CoachJenK :

Can I support you any further now?


 

CoachJenK :

A rating of poor service hurts my reputation here and I believe we have turned it around and have done some great work together. Will you take a moment now to re-rate our time?


 

CoachJenK :

I am sorry I wasn't able to help you in the way you desired. My goal is always to give you the best possible support.


 

Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1755
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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