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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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i have been married for 7 yrs we have 3 boys under 5. our

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i have been married for 7 yrs we have 3 boys under 5.
our relationship has been bad since the third child, child 2 has medical problems and has needed a lot of my attention, also the baby. My husband has been stuggling with this and has felt I have neglected his needs and feels I don't love him any more.
I have recently found out that my hasband has cheated on me with his ex and she is expecting his baby. His ex pushed herself on to him and he couln't refuse.
My husband and i have talked in great lenght. he swears it only happened the once and he doesnt think the baby is his. He wont leave the house says he realises what a stupid mistake he has made and he's so sorry and wants to try put things right. I just don't believe anything he says.

It sounds like your life can be very stressful. That is often the case in your situation. However I would encourage you to consider that he was an equal participant in this affair although he may be genuinely sorry for his behavior. Couples do recover from stressful parenting problems and even an affair. The reasons that you might consider relationship work could address many issues. When you have support and counseling you can begin to lessen stress and deal with the issues post affair. This will be even more important when the baby comes.

When you doubt your partner's word even legitimately doubt this there has to be work to restore the trust that exhibited before. You may find that to be marital counseling or self help but it is necessary. You can even access marriage counseling online or by web cam by Googling online therapy. The real issue is not the modality but instead identifying why you doubt his word and what it will take to restore trust. The may mean that he has to be totally accountable for his actions to take the focus off of her who isn't your responsibility. I encourage you to look for a professional and approach this by addressing the need for the other relationship and develop ways to relieve stressors.

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