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Hello, I'd like to help you with your questions.It sounds like your husband has an anger management issue, possibly Intermittent Explosive Disorder (he would need an evaluation to determine his diagnosis). He appears to be unable to handle when he feels frustrated or upset so he lashes out at others in order to cope. But what it does instead is make people want to stay away from him, especially you.There is nothing wrong with your reaction. No one wants to live with someone who not only overreacts to everything, but hurts others when he does it. And when you ask him to stop, he shows no interest in doing so. That means he is not seeing what he is doing as an issue and therefore is unlikely to change, even if it makes you unhappy.It sounds like you have done all you can to help your husband address his anger. And it seems no matter what you try, he does not choose to seek help and get better. There is only so much you can do. And the fact that his behavior has affected you so much that you feel depressed and you are seeking out other men tells you how much this is hurting you.At this point, your husband has to want to change. If he could see this as a problem, then he might be willing to seek out therapy to address it. But you will not be able to force him so at this point, you need to take care of yourself. And you mentioned that he is throwing things and acting out violently, although not against you, yet. His actions are a sign that if he does not get help, he could potentially hurt you one day, or someone else. And if you decide to have children, they will grow up learning that screaming and yelling is the way to handle your feelings. Not a healthy situation for anyone. You may want to consider getting therapy yourself so you can work on getting out of this relationship. It may not be easy because you may still have feelings for your husband. So taking care of you by talking to someone will help. Also, it may help you to read more about what is going on so you can be sure you feel you are settled with what you decide. Here are some resources to help:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy BancroftShould I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved by Lundy Bancroft and JAC PatrissiThe Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve by Anne-Renee TestaI hope this has helped you,Kate
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