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I don't know why your question did not show up in my queue.
The things to address w/ him would be 1) what arrangements if any he can make for his son. Is there an option that his mother takes care of him?
2) In what direction does he want the relationship to progress. All relationships encounter ups and downs. What matters is the ability to overcome these together and not get too frustrated and give up before trying.
3) What is causing him the most stress now (son, finances, lack of predictability, etc) What is causing you the most stress. How are each of you going to handle that?
How much control does each of you have in correcting things on their end?
4) Is it possible that he is codependent in his relationship w/ his son?
Judy, it is not uncommon for a relationship in its initial stage to be more exciting and over time for humps to appear on the road. That in itself does not indicate that you don't love each other or don't want to be together. It is merely a test about how the two of you can overcome this in a constructive way.
Try to work together. If he does not phone, you phone. Try to find some time to talk about this objectively. His job could keep him busy but he's trying to establish himself in the new area after his move. It is natural. That should not be something that you think is taking away from the relationship. He may feel inferior knowing that he does not have a lot of money to help or entertain or romance you with.
I just find it hard to believe him... he has had all these grand things in his life and now he has nothing... I didn't think any of these would be like this.... his health isn't that great and he is more or less a taker.... no really a giver. He always tells everyone his poor child support stories and puts down his ex in frount of his son....tisk, tisk tisk. He has been so very blunt and one sided and it seems like it is all about him. He tellls me that he thinks i am demanding and it is all about me...he said "me me me" refering to how I demand his attention. Well I anly asked him to swim because he said he was a scuba diver too and he got mad because i asked him twice. He should speak in the first person. I finally got this 96 explorer suv running that I bought from him with the aide from my son and ex husband... bf was not any help.... just all talk. My ex heard him say he would buy me new tires and I told him that so he felt obliged and yet he bought new seats for my suv for 100.00 and said he rather buy them than tires... yea the tires were 4 times that much, plus my ex had to remove the old seats and put the new ones in...what a job that was! You can see I am really tiried of this kind of stuff and now I wonder what I am going to do. I have stayed at my apartment this week sinse sunday and said i would come over tomorrow, but I think i will wait til friday when he has a party to play and i know the people too at the studio. He needs to know I am pulling away and I want my stuff back from his apartment. how do I go about doing that?
Judy, maybe the best approach would be a direct one in regard to getting your things and making a statement.
When you describe him now, does his behavior remind you of that of Stacy's?
If you are more unhappy than feeling any love for him, it would be the healthiest thing to let the relationship dissolve. That is unless you think that there may be a chance of things getting better and being willing to invest time and patience in it. From what you've shared so far, it seems that you feel more dragged down than in love and, that perhaps after the initial in love stage, you've realized that this is not someone for a long term relationship. You let yourself try and that is what matters.
You can't predict how things would have turned out or how he would become.