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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2898
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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how do I prepare for a urological appointment coming up when

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how do I prepare for a urological appointment coming up when I'm scared out of my mind?  I haven't ever had to have this doctor touch me and I'm terrified of tough.  what can I do?

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

Tell me about the fear.

Customer:

I'm a molestation survivor

CoachJenK :

that was going to be my next question. Are you in therapy now?

Customer:

I'm afraid of being touched

Customer:

yes, I am

CoachJenK :

I understand. Ok great and do you work on any grounding techniques?

Customer:

I know about grounding techniques but don't know how it applies to this...........

CoachJenK :

I think they can be used to calm your fears so that when you are feeling worried about being examined by the doctor that you remain present in the now and not go back to an earlier time of abuse.

Customer:

oh, btw, I also have DID...........so my dr only has met my alters, not me

CoachJenK :

so if you ground yourself and focus on your breathing during the examination then you can feel safe enough to let the doctor do what is needed without it feeling like a replication of the abuse.

Customer:

ok

CoachJenK :

Even more reason to work the techiniques

CoachJenK :

do you do any relaxation techniques to help with your fear and anxiety?

Customer:

not typically

CoachJenK :

would you be open to listening to some?

Customer:

I usually just shut down and have an alter take over

Customer:

sure

CoachJenK :

and that has been extremely self protective.

CoachJenK :

http://www.stevegjones.com/relaxationlearntorelaxhypnosis.htm

CoachJenK :

that is a relaxation CD

Customer:

yes, but I don't want to be so scared......

CoachJenK :

I know you dont and that is why it is important to do the relaxation every day before the appointment so you can go to that place of comfort and relaxation and also ground yourself.

Customer:

the crazy thing is, I'm not so scared about the touch as my reaction to the touch.............

CoachJenK :

remember it is not a touch but an exam by a doctor who will touch you and not in a way that is molesting.

Customer:

I will try and remember that..............

CoachJenK :

but I know that is how it feels for you so a lot of self talk reminding yourself what it is and what it isn't may help a bit.

Customer:

problem is..........it was a dr who molested me

CoachJenK :

do you have a safe person who can accompany you to the appointment?

CoachJenK :

does this doctor who you are going to know of this history?

Customer:

yeah, I have a friend who's going with me. yes, he knows my history

CoachJenK :

excellent on both fronts and then you can share with the doctor just how nervous you are so all things can be lined up to help you through it.

Customer:

what if.........................what if I kinda like the touch???????? is that ok? is that bad? I'm scared of my reaction to the touch

CoachJenK :

Those issues i believe should be looked at with your therapist.

Customer:

ok

Customer:

I'll take a look at the website you gave me

CoachJenK :

excellent. I wish you the best with it. Keep working hard in your therapy and all will be well at your appointment.

Customer:

k, thanks

CoachJenK :

Please take a moment to click on the rating tab to offer a rating of my work. My goal is EXCELLENT.

Customer:

I will

CoachJenK :

have a safe and restful night.

Customer:

thanks

TherapistJen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I'm so scared, I don't know what to do............please help me
Please take some time to breathe and focus on your grounding techniques that you are working on with your therapist. Please visit the site I suggested last night and begin listening to the CD....it will help calm you which can help you to feel safe.

I know how hard this is and I know you will get through this. Sometimes the anticipation of something can be worse than the actual event. Stay present and stay grounded.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
the weird thing about this is I'm not worried about him touching "down there." I'm only scared of him touching my tummy. And he's gonna have to touch my tummy cuz that's how I use the bathroom. But my tummy doesn't like to be touched. how can I get my tummy to be okay with the touch?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Answer came too late.
I would suggest the same things as I mentioned above. The grounding techniques and the relaxation. I got to your answer as quickly as I could.

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