How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1812
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
64783947
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

how do I prepare for a urological appointment coming up when

Customer Question

how do I prepare for a urological appointment coming up when I'm scared out of my mind?  I haven't ever had to have this doctor touch me and I'm terrified of tough.  what can I do?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

Tell me about the fear.

Customer:

I'm a molestation survivor

CoachJenK :

that was going to be my next question. Are you in therapy now?

Customer:

I'm afraid of being touched

Customer:

yes, I am

CoachJenK :

I understand. Ok great and do you work on any grounding techniques?

Customer:

I know about grounding techniques but don't know how it applies to this...........

CoachJenK :

I think they can be used to calm your fears so that when you are feeling worried about being examined by the doctor that you remain present in the now and not go back to an earlier time of abuse.

Customer:

oh, btw, I also have DID...........so my dr only has met my alters, not me

CoachJenK :

so if you ground yourself and focus on your breathing during the examination then you can feel safe enough to let the doctor do what is needed without it feeling like a replication of the abuse.

Customer:

ok

CoachJenK :

Even more reason to work the techiniques

CoachJenK :

do you do any relaxation techniques to help with your fear and anxiety?

Customer:

not typically

CoachJenK :

would you be open to listening to some?

Customer:

I usually just shut down and have an alter take over

Customer:

sure

CoachJenK :

and that has been extremely self protective.

CoachJenK :

http://www.stevegjones.com/relaxationlearntorelaxhypnosis.htm

CoachJenK :

that is a relaxation CD

Customer:

yes, but I don't want to be so scared......

CoachJenK :

I know you dont and that is why it is important to do the relaxation every day before the appointment so you can go to that place of comfort and relaxation and also ground yourself.

Customer:

the crazy thing is, I'm not so scared about the touch as my reaction to the touch.............

CoachJenK :

remember it is not a touch but an exam by a doctor who will touch you and not in a way that is molesting.

Customer:

I will try and remember that..............

CoachJenK :

but I know that is how it feels for you so a lot of self talk reminding yourself what it is and what it isn't may help a bit.

Customer:

problem is..........it was a dr who molested me

CoachJenK :

do you have a safe person who can accompany you to the appointment?

CoachJenK :

does this doctor who you are going to know of this history?

Customer:

yeah, I have a friend who's going with me. yes, he knows my history

CoachJenK :

excellent on both fronts and then you can share with the doctor just how nervous you are so all things can be lined up to help you through it.

Customer:

what if.........................what if I kinda like the touch???????? is that ok? is that bad? I'm scared of my reaction to the touch

CoachJenK :

Those issues i believe should be looked at with your therapist.

Customer:

ok

Customer:

I'll take a look at the website you gave me

CoachJenK :

excellent. I wish you the best with it. Keep working hard in your therapy and all will be well at your appointment.

Customer:

k, thanks

CoachJenK :

Please take a moment to click on the rating tab to offer a rating of my work. My goal is EXCELLENT.

Customer:

I will

CoachJenK :

have a safe and restful night.

Customer:

thanks

Coach Jen K., LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1812
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I'm so scared, I don't know what to do............please help me
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
Please take some time to breathe and focus on your grounding techniques that you are working on with your therapist. Please visit the site I suggested last night and begin listening to the CD....it will help calm you which can help you to feel safe.

I know how hard this is and I know you will get through this. Sometimes the anticipation of something can be worse than the actual event. Stay present and stay grounded.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
the weird thing about this is I'm not worried about him touching "down there." I'm only scared of him touching my tummy. And he's gonna have to touch my tummy cuz that's how I use the bathroom. But my tummy doesn't like to be touched. how can I get my tummy to be okay with the touch?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Answer came too late.
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
I would suggest the same things as I mentioned above. The grounding techniques and the relaxation. I got to your answer as quickly as I could.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K.
Social Worker, Professional Coach
648 Satisfied Customers
Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach