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DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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I am a woman 57 years old, grandma, and mother. My mother passed

Resolved Question:

I am a woman 57 years old, grandma, and mother. My mother passed away a couple years ago. I had a horrible dream the night before that I had sex with her and that I was on top of her and her eyes were rolling back in her head. I am suffering now from this. It is scaring me so bad I think im a freak now. Is it normal to have a dream like this. I have had a few things go on in my life. I have a 34 year old son that has been staying with a woman a couple years younger than me and he wont admit it but I believe they are dating. He told me she reminds him of me. They may not be dating but I worry that they are. The second thing is that I am dating someone I met online and worry that he may hurt me or he may be some sort of a freak. He gave me no reason to believe it really just everything I see on the news etc.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  DrFee replied 1 year ago.

DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.


 

DrFee :

You are not a freak ---the dream does not mean you have/had any desire to literally have sex with your mother, it is symbolic. Symbolic either for something related to your relationship with her or she is representing another person in your dream.


 

DrFee :

Other people in our dreams can even represent parts of ourselves


 

DrFee :

It's important to know that even sex with a woman in a dream is not indicative of homosexual desire (it can be) but can represent other things


 

DrFee :

And, your dream could be about your feelings towards your son and the woman he's involved with --


 

DrFee :

If you feel like it's "highly inappropriate" your dream could be a metaphor for how you really feel about your son and the woman --so inappropriate that it "freaks" you out, so to speak.


 

DrFee :

Hello


 

DrFee :

I am wondering what you are thinking after reading what I have written. I will pause here and please respond if you'd like


 

DrFee :

Above all --try not to be upset. Dreams are dramatic for a reason, our mind is brutally honest about depicting our emotions regarding current or past situations. Elements are often symbolic, rarely literal.


 

DrFee :

I will be online for most of the afternoon. Please let me know if you'd like to interact.


 

Customer:

i feel relieved I felt so bad about myself it was causing me to have panic attacks


 

DrFee :

That's understandable! But, I can't say it enough, you have NO reason to feel bad about yourself.


 

DrFee :

These types of dreams ARE common --sometimes friends having sex with friends, where it can merely symbolize how "close" the friends are and has nothing to do with wanting to have actual sex with them!


 

Customer:

my mom looked dead though and her eyes were rolling back in her head and that is the part that is scaring me. Would the part that she looked dead is because my mind knows the truth that she is?

Customer:
DrFee :

I would say that's a good possibility, that your mind knows she is dead, and the dream reflects that. You might not be fully resolved about her death, which could be another element to the dream.


 

DrFee :

I'm sorry for the delay, somehow I missed that you had commented!!!


 

Customer:

ok so it will take more time to resolve my feelings about my mothers death then apparently


 

DrFee :

I think that sounds like it is the case. Are you familiar with the 5 stages of grieving?


 

DrFee :

I'll post them for you:


 

DrFee :

1. Denial (disbelief that the loss has occured)





 

DrFee :

2. Sadness over the loss


 

DrFee :

3. Bargaining-- If ______, then _____would/wouldn't have happened.


 

DrFee :

4. Anger (at her, yourself, God, another person)


 

DrFee :

5. Acceptance --Not that you forget or stop missing her, but you can move forward with your life in every way.


 

DrFee :

The stages do not occur in order, you can stay in one for a long time, another for a short time and you can bounce back and forth.


 

Customer:

ok ty this has been very helpful how l hope I can just get on with my life and be happy


 

Customer:

thats all from me ty :-)


 

DrFee :

I hope you can too. Try to be patient and gracious with yourself. If you don't see improvement over time, consider getting some counseling. Take good care and thank you for coming to the site!


 

DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience: I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  DrFee replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your "Excellent" service rating. I do appreciate it!

I hope that you will find joy even in the midst of your grieving.

Take good care,

Dr. Fee

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