How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Coach Jen K. Your Own Question

Coach Jen K.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1745
Experience:  Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
64783947
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Coach Jen K. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I would like a womens view on this. There is something

Customer Question

I would like a women's view on this.

There is something strange about my wife's peculiarity about photos. She is highly opinionated about photos. So, when lately I changed my profile picture on Facebook to a particular photo which does include her, she became very upset and sad that my choice of profile photo is not good enough. She said there are better photos. I asked her to suggest good photos and she suggested some photos which I feel are not good. But she is very particular about this topic and she would not talk to me because of this or get really sad about this.

I want to understand her strong emotions around this topic. What she really feels and why ? I also want ability to have some flexibility in ability to choose photos I use on Facebook, say profile photo. I am completely puzzled about this.

In past I stopped sharing any holiday album on my Facebook profile because she gets so opinionated and concerned about each and every photo. Now I feel I have lost any flexibility in choosing any photos. I do not want her upset but I also want some flexibility.

What should I do ?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

Good morning. As a woman we all can feel quite hypercritical about her image and feel quite self conscious about how we look.

CoachJenK :

It is as if there will never be a photo that she is totally satisfied with as she sees "imperfections" that others dont see but that she feels exist.

CoachJenK :

Even with outside priase or reassurance if the distortion exists the positive feedback doesn't always make it through.

CoachJenK :

I do think it is lovely that you want to share the photos of the two of you and you want the flexibility to do so. You are doing the right thing by including her in the process and asking her to offer one or two that she can feel okay about you sharing.

CoachJenK :

I will wait for you to come online so we can chat further.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Jen,
Yeah, I am often puzzled when she does not like some photos of her as I feel they are really good. But I feel she has different evaluations.

What troubles me is that even in my pictures, she feels different pictures of mine are good compared to which I feel are nice. And she is very particular about these too. Then choosing a picture becomes quite a complex process of back and forth consultations. Since I am not so particular but I do have my likings, I feel sometimes my choice should be also respected.

One not so happy middle ground could be I only share my own pic and then I do not go through lengthy process of picture selection. Do you think that may work ?

Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
I do hear that she has some self conscious issues and also may be putting those onto you by being a bit critical of yours.
While I think it is lovely that you want her photos there too to show your family time and together time, but you idea of only using the photos of yourself that you find enjoyable may be the way to go for a while. She is struggling with some issues of her own body image and they are difficult yo "cure" as they are often rooted deeply in her feelings about herself.

So yes, share the ones of yourself that you like and see what happens from there.
Coach Jen K., LMSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1745
Experience: Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach
Coach Jen K. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks Jen
Expert:  Coach Jen K. replied 2 years ago.
It is my pleasure. Come to me anytime if you need support. Keep your loving and generous heart.
Thank you for the bonus, that was lovely.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education