I had been in therapy for several years with the same therapist. I am a therapist myself.Recently, he made responses to me about my mother that were inconsistent with anything he had ever said before. He did
not seem to be listening, when I told him I had forgiven my brother for raping me. Coming to this point should have been a landmark cause for celebration, but my therapist was very uninvolved when I said this to him.
A former client of my therapist took up office hours in his suite, with very little warning. I should have never known of her existence except that the three of us worked together in a ministry to suicide survivors at my home church. During that time, the woman edged her way into working with the group of people she wanted to have, a I lost my opportunity to observe my therapist in a group setting.
The week she took up office hours, I saw her in the waiting room, following my session. She was cold and unreceptive to my attempts at polite conversation.
I cried in front of my therapist. I asked him why he did not tell me. I wondered why he left weeks go by, knowing he would be working with her, and said nothing, but simply allowed it all to just drop on my head. I wrote him a letter, thanking him for everything he had done for me, trying to get away gracefully. My husband has had to pick up the pieces. I am grieving.
One of the most hurtful things that happened, even though he apologized on the spot for hurting me deeply, was that he said the woman, a much younger person than I, had passed through a spiritual door that I had not yet found. He said she had come through the process much more quickly than I and that her training was better than mine. Perhaps these things may be true, but I am left here hurting and not sure where to go with the unhappy feelings this has generated for me. He also told me I was competitive. When the woman wanted to work with a certain group of people, I immediately consented, to keep the peace. My family finds the charge of competitiveness absurd and totally foreign to my nature.
I felt demeaned, because when I expressed my frustration and anger at him for doing this and being covert about it, he said that he had been sure there was more anger inside of me that needed to come out. But I was angry at him, not about the past.
I had actually said to him some time before this, that I felt it was the time to put the anger aside and come to terms, accepting what had happened to me, and move on into a productive life, serving others, writing, and counseling. He did not seem to be able to hear this. He further demeaned me by saying that I was "scratching at the door" that day, the day that he had told me the other woman had passed through already.
I am in grief, looking to see my therapist in places where he might be possibly, shopping, etc. I have had my husband tell him I am taking a break from our sessions. Have you any wise counsel? I am going on, with a heavy and sad