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DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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I am considering ect. Could it help me and can i ask for it?

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I am considering ect. Could it help me and can i ask for it?
I first noticed that I was experiencing depression when I was about 19, my teachers at school alerted my parents of it when I was 17. I have had prolonged episodes with severe anxiety, panic attacks and periods of psychosis. Up to 2 years ago I managed then I was in a controlling abusive relationships, my drinking increased and I ended up going for 6 weeks treatment for alcohol and co morbid mental health problems. I have a degree and pgd and up to Jan this year worked as an alcohol and drug counsellor for 9 years. I had not drank for 7 months in Jan this year was seeing a psychologist and trying another antidepressant. I had to stop working because I was experiencing terrible symptoms of anxiety and depression which meant i couldn't effectively counsel. Since then I have drank on 3 ocassions and on two of these taken an overdose of paracetamol with the intention of taking my life, the second time my parents searched for me for hours before they found me. I have never self harmed or acted out in any other way. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts on a daily basis and have had 2 inpatient psych admissions which were dreadful, all this has been very difficult, as a healthcare professional a lot of people know me. I am fearful of everything from waking, I try to exercise and eat and sleep well and have even continued to go to AA meetings. The thoughts in my head have left me experiencing trauma associated with places I go, there are days when I can't eat and barely function and feel completely disassociated. I also have struggled to remember things so find it really hard when I speak to people. Every day I pray I may feel a little bit of my self. When I do function there is little relief and I feel like I am a constant burden to those around me, often pushing them away but wishing they were there. I work really hard to push myself and plough through but continue to be plagued by obsessional, brutal negative thoughts and wising to end my life. I can't seem to remember any of my good qualities or relate to anyone except on a mechanical level. I even fail to connect with my neice who adores me and feel tormented with guilt all the time. The time I feel most like myself is when I cry!
I am desperate! I dont want to end my life but I see no light at the end of the tunnel and am projecting all the time.
I have mentioned ECT to my psych nurse but she does not think it is a good idea. She mentioned the other day another admission but I dread the tthought of this but don't know how long I can keep on trying to plough through!
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  DrFee replied 1 year ago.

DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.


 

DrFee :

It sounds like you've been through so much and not seeing much improvement --I can understand why you would want to consider ECT.


 

DrFee :

However, there's something you can try before ECT --it's called TMS


 

DrFee :

As opposed to ECT, it's non-invasive --TMS stands for Transcranial magnetic stimulation Therapy


 


 

DrFee :

If you want to go even less invasive (TMS can have a side effect of pain) you could try Neurofeedback even before TMS


www.eeginfo.com


 


 

DrFee :

But either choice is far less invasive that ECT. Hello ---


 

Customer:

Thanks


 

DrFee :

You're welcome --do you want to chat further about any of these options or something else?


 

Customer:

Are these treatments available?


I don't know how to go about asking for this I think the professionals think I am alright because I have got so used to putting on a front.

DrFee :

That can be tough --often we have to advocate for ourselves at the point when we are least able to --I would encourage you to be assertive and keep telling them that you need something different.


 


 


 

DrFee :

Or --go to someone new!


 

DrFee :

You could say, "I've done some reading about (TMS or Neurofeedback). I want to try it because _____(then fill in the blank with how you've been suffering)."


 

Customer:

I live on an Island. All the professionals know me, they knew me when I was well but they also know I have not been well now for a long time. I just want to feel some of my self which will give me strength to then plough through. i feel completely beat and terrified and cry every day because all my relationships are so badly affected

DrFee :

Are they listenting to you? Do you need to be more assertive with them?


I imagine that you've been getting frustrated.


 

Customer:

my psych nurse is very good, as is the psych tho laid back! Have spoken to her about ECT and seeing her again on Friday, she said she feels I should not need to go down this route but that she respects I have been thinking about it. There feels like no light and the talk of another admission terrifies me too.


 

DrFee :

What scares you about going into the hospital?


 

Customer:

 


I will explore these other forms of treatment and speak to her about these also. I am also due to meet with HR next week as they are trying to get me back to work, again I dont feel I can be honest and that i will need to put on a front if I have any hope of working. Everyone expects me to be getting better.

DrFee :

It sounds like a tough spot --it's not good to go to work if you are not ready. Other people's expectations may or may not be helpful. It sounds like you are saying you need more help, and I'd encourage you to be really bold in asking for it.


 

Customer:

Sorry will answer your question now:


Because I know a lot of the staff and my sense of hopelessness increases.

DrFee :

Are you stuck on the island? Can you go elsewhere?


 

DrFee :

If not, I'd just encourage you to be as honest as you can be with your current professionals.


 

Customer:

I dont see any benefit going into hospital


 

DrFee :

The hospital is generally just for stabilization


 

Customer:

This is what I had in May


 

DrFee :

You sound like you are discouraged --which is understandable. I am wondering if you are feeling like they are not hearing you right now.


 


 

Customer:

I dont express how bad I am feeling very well I guess and I try my best to pick myself up but I am feeling bad all the time


 

DrFee :

I think you need to tell them the truth


 

DrFee :

They won't know how bad you are feeling and that you are not getting what you need if you don't tell them.


 

Customer:

~I will look into these treatments and discuss. I don't klnow what I need or what will help. Feel like all efforts to help myself leave still feeling desperate.


 

Customer:

Thanks


 

DrFee :

Ok --you are welcome. It's easy to be discouraged when nothing has helped. I am sorry about that. I hope that you will keep pursuing it though --take good care.


 

Customer:

I think work will help me but I am scared of my mental state.


Thanks

Customer:

Thanks for the links.


 

DrFee :

Are you in the US ? One of your diagnoses might make you qualified as having a disability --which would help protect your job. You are welcome


 

DrFee :

I am not saying this for sure your situation, but it's something else to look into ---


 


 

Customer:

No I live in the UK channel islands. They are supporting me and trying to get me back to work. I would hate to think I would have to be disabled and be unable to work long term that would make things worse.


 

DrFee :

I don't know anything about the UK --in the US one can have a disability but have some protection and accomodation on the job because of the disability. Maybe you have that too --I wasn't referring to not working.


 


 

DrFee :

I know working is often a good thing! But you may need some understanding and help.


 

DrFee :

I'm glad they are supporting you


 

DrFee :

Any final comments/questions? I need to leave.


 

Customer:

I think the protection is pretty good and they are being supportive.


Thank you.

Customer:

No


 

Customer:
DrFee :

Take good care then. You are welcome.


 

Customer:
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience: I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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