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Yes- it's possible for there to be a connection b/w your stress level, depression and headaches. These may be tension headaches. Those who suffer from depression show a lower threshold to pain; meaning- someone who is depressed can feel pain stronger than if not depressed.
Another possibility may arise from your level of anxiety due to the stress level. Some individuals start to breath in a shallow manner which, decreases oxygen intake and subsequent blood flow to the brain is disturbed. Depending on whether you're on any medication for the depression, that too could be a cause for headaches as a side effect (most often with the start of new psychotropic medication).
Other causes should be examined such as neurological, infections, etc.
Please feel free to reply/clarify if this is what you were inquiring about or had another question before rating answer. Thanks.
Hi again DeAnn,
Do you mean you find yourself having that kind of depressed/hopeless thoughts when you say "I think about him I think about his behavior that I find in myself."
The way to deal with this would be based on what you feel comfortable with trying.
Clinical depression is treatable with counseling, medication, and other forms of treatment depending on its severity i.e. NLP (neurolinguistic programming) Neurofeedback aka biofeedback, natural alternatives- supplements/food changes, exercises. I believe that a combination of treatment options is best.
*If these are suicidal, self defeating (hopeless/helpless) kind of thoughts/behaviors, it would be of most help to work with a clinician face to face and the sooner the better.
If it is a severe depression that you're dealing with, medication would be the option at least initially to help stabilize one's brain chemistry. CBT is also effective if you're not open to medication for some reason. The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-Step Program
Thoughts are self generated and one can learn how to manage them. It takes some practice. As the thoughts change, brain chemistry also can change.
It would help to be mindful of when these thoughts arise, how much time you allow them to hold your attention, how you reframe/redirect them and whether or not these thoughts serve any purpose.
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness
Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom
Many things could be going on. Now that you've mentioned the passing of these two individuals, complicated bereavement is another possibility. Ones emotional/psychological life can be influenced by events, brain chemistry, thoughts/coping skills, whether or not there is a good support system available, etc.
What kind of things have you been focusing on lately?
Is the journaling of events that transpire or mostly of what you think/dwell upon? You can send an example of it.
There are two things here to note:
1) it seems that he does not like people doing certain things
2) As a result of this, you "feel like I am invading his space."
Does his dislike of things have to lead to how you start to feel? Could it be that he won't be satisfied no matter what? Why allow yourself for become upset as much as he does?