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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1375
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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What do I do when my freind keeps going back to her abusive

Customer Question

What do I do when my freind keeps going back to her abusive spouse? I care alot about her and her 2 children but I get too emotionally involved and it causes me alot of stress to listen and worry about her and her kids. Since she went back to him last time I have been quite distant because it just is too stressfull. I have my own family to focus on and care for. Should I continue the relationship?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Florida-Counselor replied 4 years ago.

Florida-Counselor :

Hi- it sounds like you and your friend have been through a lot. When a friend is in an abusive relationship, it can be very difficult.

Florida-Counselor :

You need to consider what is good for you and for your family. Having said that, though, your friend is probably pretty isolated, as most people in abusive relationships are isolated from support systems. Is there is a way that you can still be friends with her by just listening to her and being supportive? I know that you mentioned that you have tried this. One day your friend may be ready to make a real, permanent change for the better. It may take her a while to get there because of her fear (and possibly emotional and physical abuse.) When she does get ready (and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later) you can be there for her.

Florida-Counselor :

Remember that your friend is a victim in this situation. You don't mention what kind of abuse she is suffering, but any abuse is wrong. It is confusing, though, when a person who is supposed to love you abuses you, and that what makes breaking the cycle of abuse so difficult sometimes.

Florida-Counselor :

Ultimately the decision is yours whether or not to keep your friendship. I know this is not an easy answer, but situations such as these are pretty complicated.

Florida-Counselor :

I hope that I have helped a little. Good luck and feel free to get in touch if I can be of further assistance!

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