Hey Kate. It went well with JE tonight. She actually has her first appointment tomorrow with a therapist from linda's organization. She liked her on the phone and seems to know that If she doesn't gel with her after a while, she can go to someone else, even in the same place. She seems very motivated. Said she was nervous, but is excited to start working to get through this. The last time she went to therapy was when she was 14, & she went to several before that. she felt like the last one helped her a lot.
She talked a lot, actually, which is unlike her. But that was good. We talked about flashbacks and the shame and guilt and stuff. Breaks my heart. She told me that her whole childhood, she was worried all the time that she was going to get pregnant and her mom would find out that her dad was cheating on her mom with her. Can you imagine? Poor little thing. She was 8 when she told her mom (and only because she thought her dad was going to do things to her 5 year old twin sisters). She didn't totally understand, but understood enough to make her worried. Wow. How horribly sad
I suggested she go back on her meds and told her that on Linda's suggestion, I went on antidepressants, etc. when I started therapy. I told her not to be discouraged if she finds herself feeling worse for a while ( it seemed she thought she would feel better right away). I told her that it seemed like nothing good was happening for a while, and then out of the blue, I noticed the guilt was about 1/5 what it had been. That seemed to give her some hope.
She said she feels guilty when she takes antidepressants, as she feels like she must be weak if she can't be happy without pills. I told her that I felt that if taking a pill could make her life even a little easier, I was all for it. I didn't tell her I didn't want to take them anymore, either. But I told her to get a psychiatrist. She asked how to find one and I told her to ask her therapist tomorrow, because she may know someone (that's how I was referred to dr. M) and if she didn't have anyone in mind, to ask her doctor fo a referral. I explained to her how I thought dr m was much more mindful of my need to function and knew so much more about what meds may treat what symptoms, etc. and also seemed more willing to try things or higher doses, if need be, since she and Linda were both monitoring things. She seemed totally open to it. Again, I was shocked at how talkative she was. She's normally very quiet. Anyway, she seems good, and I don't think I scared her away from therapy. I'm also glad she is going to a Christian.
Just wanted to let you know. She said she would call me after her appointment tomorrow.