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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4506
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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Hi, I just found out that my fiance of 4 years has homosexual

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Hi, I just found out that my fiance of 4 years has homosexual tendecies, he says that he had sex with tranny prostitutes and he is really ashamed of it. I found out because he forgot to earase his history on the computer. He still wants to stay in the relationship but I have trouble getting the images out of my head of him having sex with men. He says that he only watches gay porn, but loves women and loves me.Help Im confused.

Dr. Kaushik :

Hi there,

Dr. Kaushik :

Welcome to Just answer !

Dr. Kaushik :

Well, there are two core issues here which need to be understood and dealt with so that your confusion is lifted an you can see and coose clearly what you have to do next.

Dr. Kaushik :

The first core issue is that he is homosexual or may be bisexual , which are not to be disrciminted against but in both these cases, he is most vulnerable and succeptible to future sexual indiscretions as happened in the past , plus from now on there will always a doubt in your mind about him enjoying sex with you as much you do or is he just faking it so as to continue the relationship to remain hidden in the closet to please the society and it's norms ( which is unfortunate as many homosexuals and bisexuals cannot live openly with their sexual preferences due to the stigma attached to them till date , which is unfortunate ). So by ignoring his sexual indiscretions of the past and overlooking his sexual orientation , you will be doing a disservice to your own self as well as to him , this will be like living a dual life which i reckon seldom reaches the distance besides it brings a lot of pain and hurt along the way.

Dr. Kaushik :

The second core issue is that he has possibly cheated on you and if not but is succeptive to cheating, more so because he does not have the liberty to sexually express himself openly hich makes his urge for sex even more. But the problem is that cheating remains cheating , whether it is with a man or a woman, the bottomline is that he has concealed some very fundamental facts about his sexuality and had you not accidentally come across his sexual escapades , he would have continued to lie to you and continued to betray your trust.

Dr. Kaushik :

So, these two core issues are worth pondering as it is a matter of grave consequence for you in particular as to me his explanation for his sexual liaisons of past and present of this nature seem to fall short on the level of being absolutely true , instead his explanation sounds more like a plea for not revealing him out in the open. So, i will suggest that you talk with him again , and coax him to open up about his sexuality , may be having counseling sesions together from a clinical psychologist will hlm to open up about his sexuality , you should encourage him to be himself as it no problem at all if he is homosexual and also assure that you pledge to keep this as a secret if he comes out in the open in front of you and will tell others some other reason for not going to the distance with him as far as the relationship is concerned.

Dr. Kaushik :

You see if he is hiding his sexuality , which is quite apparent from his behaviour , then it will be in the best interst of yours as well as his, not to be together as the union of you two will have some complications in the future with you and him both living stressful life full of insecurities and doubt and this will only cause a fall out ..

Dr. Kaushik :

I hope this helps..

Dr. Kaushik :

Wish you all the best..

Dr. Kaushik :

Please give me a positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Dr. Kaushik :

Regards..

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