How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4087
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
9385906
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Kaushik is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi, I just found out that my fiance of 4 years has homosexual

Resolved Question:

Hi, I just found out that my fiance of 4 years has homosexual tendecies, he says that he had sex with tranny prostitutes and he is really ashamed of it. I found out because he forgot to earase his history on the computer. He still wants to stay in the relationship but I have trouble getting the images out of my head of him having sex with men. He says that he only watches gay porn, but loves women and loves me.Help Im confused.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Kaushik :

Hi there,

Dr. Kaushik :

Welcome to Just answer !

Dr. Kaushik :

Well, there are two core issues here which need to be understood and dealt with so that your confusion is lifted an you can see and coose clearly what you have to do next.

Dr. Kaushik :

The first core issue is that he is homosexual or may be bisexual , which are not to be disrciminted against but in both these cases, he is most vulnerable and succeptible to future sexual indiscretions as happened in the past , plus from now on there will always a doubt in your mind about him enjoying sex with you as much you do or is he just faking it so as to continue the relationship to remain hidden in the closet to please the society and it's norms ( which is unfortunate as many homosexuals and bisexuals cannot live openly with their sexual preferences due to the stigma attached to them till date , which is unfortunate ). So by ignoring his sexual indiscretions of the past and overlooking his sexual orientation , you will be doing a disservice to your own self as well as to him , this will be like living a dual life which i reckon seldom reaches the distance besides it brings a lot of pain and hurt along the way.

Dr. Kaushik :

The second core issue is that he has possibly cheated on you and if not but is succeptive to cheating, more so because he does not have the liberty to sexually express himself openly hich makes his urge for sex even more. But the problem is that cheating remains cheating , whether it is with a man or a woman, the bottomline is that he has concealed some very fundamental facts about his sexuality and had you not accidentally come across his sexual escapades , he would have continued to lie to you and continued to betray your trust.

Dr. Kaushik :

So, these two core issues are worth pondering as it is a matter of grave consequence for you in particular as to me his explanation for his sexual liaisons of past and present of this nature seem to fall short on the level of being absolutely true , instead his explanation sounds more like a plea for not revealing him out in the open. So, i will suggest that you talk with him again , and coax him to open up about his sexuality , may be having counseling sesions together from a clinical psychologist will hlm to open up about his sexuality , you should encourage him to be himself as it no problem at all if he is homosexual and also assure that you pledge to keep this as a secret if he comes out in the open in front of you and will tell others some other reason for not going to the distance with him as far as the relationship is concerned.

Dr. Kaushik :

You see if he is hiding his sexuality , which is quite apparent from his behaviour , then it will be in the best interst of yours as well as his, not to be together as the union of you two will have some complications in the future with you and him both living stressful life full of insecurities and doubt and this will only cause a fall out ..

Dr. Kaushik :

I hope this helps..

Dr. Kaushik :

Wish you all the best..

Dr. Kaushik :

Please give me a positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Dr. Kaushik :

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4087
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Dr. Kaushik and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
3761 Satisfied Customers
MD Psychiatry