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KansasTherapist, LSCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 566
Experience:  17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
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As a mother of a suspected scociopath, how do I deal with her.

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As a mother of a suspected scociopath, how do I deal with her. I know she loves me but she puts a lot og guilt on me. She is bulimic,and has a drinking problem that makes her lose control,but will not get help for this and I am afraid for her life.she has had 2marriages and divorce sand is now intending on marrying a 3rd. She has 2children at home aged 16'and17. Their father and her have given them anything they ever wanted and are very self centered. Please offer some advice for me

KansasTherapist : Hello
KansasTherapist : It is very difficult to deal with any individual who has an antisocial personality disorder. They are typically extremely self centered and manipulative.
KansasTherapist : Your feeling guilty and sorry for her is exactly hat she wants. The best thing you can do is set limits with her and stick to them. For example, don't give her alcohol or allow her to drink at your house. If she is acting inappropriately, end your conversation with her. If she wastes her money, don't give her any to make up for it.
KansasTherapist : You can expect this to be very difficult because she is used to manipulating you and getting her way
Customer: This spring we all went on a cruise,while on it she got drunk,and met a man on the ship. She flirted openly with him,when we were all there and sleep with him that nite. When I confronted her the next day, all she said well I guess I wa drunk. When I asked her to stop drinking, she said okay, but that next nite she did the same thing. The kids were mortified. She has a boyfriend at home whom she claims to love, but it almost seemd that she wants to sabatoge the relationship
KansasTherapist : You're, of course, limited in what you can do in a situation like this. It's not a place you want to put yourself with her, where she can act out and you can't stop her or get away from her.
KansasTherapist : The next time she wants you to go on a vacation with her, you want to remember what that was like.
Customer: She has lied all her life and I have overlooked,which makes my other daughter mad. How do my grandchildren handle this. The oldest is 30,but lives away from her, but there are three that live in the home. They know that something is wrong with her,but do not know what
KansasTherapist : Lying is extremely common with people who have this personality. It is important that you know and expect that from her, and never take her at her word. If your other daughter sees you not being taken in, she can learn to trust you.
KansasTherapist : Kids who grow up with this kind of parent generally go one of two ways. Either they follow in their parent's footsteps or they completely reject their parent's behavior to become a healthier person.
Customer: She has money from her last divorce and is a hard working there anything I can do about her eating disorder. She says she is going to a phychology st,but I don,t see any results. Does she buy us things so we will feel like we owe her?
KansasTherapist : I would guess she does expect to get something in return. You're limited about what you can do with her eating disorder. One thing is refuse to go out to dinner with her as that is a huge trigger for bulimics.
Customer: Thank you very much, it has been most helpful
KansasTherapist : When you're with her, eat small, healthy meals, more frequently.
KansasTherapist : You're very welcome.
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