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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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(For Dr. Rossi) Im trying to figure some personal things.

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(For Dr. Rossi)

I'm trying to figure some personal things. My weight (80-95 lbs. overweight), to a certain degree, has held me back in areas of my personal and professional life. In spite of my disgust with the current societal value system on weight I'm seriously considering baryatric surgery, partly because I may have a short period of time where I may have medical coverage, partly to improve my health (and to alleviate some pressure on my knees..lol), partly to improve my self-confidence generally, partly to feel more comfortable in romantic situations and partly to be able to safely pursue some of the types of sports activities I've wanted to do for years, but haven't been able to because of weight restrictions, or safety concerns like Skydiving, Rock Climbing and repelling, Wind surfing, snow surfing and ocean wave surfing.


I've dieted and lost lots of weight and gained it back several times and now I'm starting to feel the weight of time. At 37, while I have a lot of years left if I plug along wait 10 years I'm sure I'll feel like I wasted a lot of years and squandered opportunities of a lot of experiences.

While I have Bachelor's and Master's degree, the latter from NYU and work in a field that's either reviled or enamored I've not had nearly as much success as I feel I should have had at this point I believe due to some of my personal hang-ups. My parents and sisters are staunchly anti-baryatric surgery which makes the decision more difficult since I would be relying at least on my parents for direct support after the procedure. What's the best way to deal with/approach this tangled web I have going on in my head? I'm seriously starting to research meditation.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Hi,

 

Let's look at this together-

 

1) you're feeling guilty because you believe that you've missed on different opportunities in areas such as relationships, activities and work.

2) your family is not approving of your desire for the surgery.

 

Whose standards do you feel like you've not lived up to? The last 10 years are what they've been based on where you were in your life at that point (emotionally and otherwise) External circumstances also play a large role in how one's life turns out to be. Grieving over the past time as you realize is destructive. At all times,you go through transformations in your life - physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, educational, professional, relational...

 

The goal through this journey in life is to be able to keep one's peace of mind while in the midst of changes. Impermanence is the one thing that is constant.

If you were not disappointed in some areas of your life or some things, you may have found something else to be upset about. It is human nature.

 

As far as the lack of support from your family, if this procedure is what you want to do, you should find a way to do it. If you have at least one good friend who can be there for you along the way, ask them to do it for you. Some insurance companies provide telephone wellness coaches as well and something for you to look into.

This is your life not theirs to live on your behalf by telling you how to live it.

 

Meditation is a good idea as long as you are trying to find peace in a constantly changing and hurtful life/society. You may like some of the writings of Roy Eugine Davis and possibly connect w/ a yoga/meditation group if one exists in your area.

 

The best approach may be cognitive behavioral therapy or any kind of mindful practice (meditation being one) Being aware of what you think, ruminate over, why and what you believe as a result, and in changing it takes practice.

 

Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
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