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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
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Hi Kate. How are you? I am fine. Just feeling discouraged.

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate. How are you? I am fine. Just feeling discouraged. Nothing is changing. I feel like my sessions with Linda lately have been unproductive. I don't feel like talking or answering her questions because I am always on the verge of crying and I'm tired of it. She still hasn't read what she had me write last week and the week before. She read a little part of it and gave me her comments. I felt like she didn't understand. And she was asking me about my feelings and guessing. But she was off. But I don't know why it surprises me when I don't answer her questions. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can handle the small talk, but lately, as soon as the talk goes to the real issues, I can hardly speak. She asks me questions and I ignore her and just stare elsewhere and don't answer.


And I know for certain that this is getting to the point where I should have already let this go. But I haven't yet. And i am not even really close. I feel like my only choice is to put it away because I feel too pathetic. And I am paying $100/week in copays to sit there and say nothing and feel worse at the end of each session. Linda is telling me I should pray with Debra & c & p. I think she thinks she's helped me all she can & I am not letting it go. I don't blame her. It's been a year. And she is not unkind about anything. I think I might be better off getting a few massages each week instead of therapy. I feel worse about myself than I did a year ago. A lot of work and I still am falling short. Typical.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 2 years ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hi Shay, it's good to hear from you!

It sounds like your therapy has reached an impasse, at least at this point. What you are experiencing is common in therapy. It happens because of resistance. And that is not about you being resist on purpose. It is when you reach a point in therapy where you find something that you don't want to confront so you "resist" by avoiding the efforts of the therapist.

Up until now, you and Linda have been making great progress. You were able to work through a lot, including the telling of your story. You felt supported and that Linda was helping you through. But now that has changed. You find yourself unable to progress and feel you can hardly speak when Linda tries to approach deeper subjects. And you avoid her questions. Something is being stirred up that you want to keep repressed.

This is not your fault, Shay. It is the natural progression of therapy. At some point, you are going to find that there is something you want to avoid talking about. You may begin to rationalize or convince yourself that you'd rather be doing other things. It's human to not want to be in pain. And therapy can cause a lot of pain emotionally, as you know.

There are two ways to go here. One way is to ask Linda to help you work to find the reason for the resistance. It can take some time and effort to find the reason, but it is there. Or you can stop therapy. It can be for a short time or forever. It is up to you. But if you feel you have reached the point where therapy is no longer working or that Linda has helped you as much as she can, then it might be that for now, you are done. Trying to pull more out or work your issues until you cannot even respond anymore is not going to help you and it may make you resist ever getting help again if you do need it.

You might want to talk to Linda about how you are feeling. Let her know that you feel this way. And talk to her about your options. If it is resistance and you want to work it through, then she can help you.

Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Okay.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
I hope that helped.

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