I understand. I don't think anyone is comfortable with such things. It brings up our instincts to protect what we have and to not get hurt. Although there is no way to guarantee that you can trust, it does help to acknowledge that your trust is shaky when it comes to these situations. And do talk to your husband about it. Don't make him responsible for how you feel but rather tell him that you are normal in your response and you need to talk about this.Remind yourself of why you do trust your husband. If he has not cheated before, then there is good reason right there. And ask him for ways that he can help you feel more comfortable about this, like communicating with you more about it. Look for the reasons in your past that you might feel are causing you to feel as you do. Were you betrayed before? Were you abused as a child (betrayal and trust issues are big with adults abused as children)? If you find reasons why you might be more aware of trust issues, then it might help you to remind yourself that because it happened in the past does not mean it will happen this time.If your husband is putting your needs first with this situation and cares about how you feel, then it may be a sign that he is trustworthy. But if he dismisses you and does not pay attention to your needs, it could mean that he is putting himself first in this and won't be as trustworthy. It doesn't mean he will cheat, but not putting you first is a concern. Also, if you find that he is being secretive, spending more time away than usual or your sex life suffers, it could mean he is cheating. If you feel that things are different and you suspect something, seek out therapy. It can help you sort out what is going on and get your marriage back on track. Kate
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