I came into the relationship a strong confident women. I raised very confident strong daughters. I always admired strong women and worked hard to become that. He feed off my confidence and strength. Once he used all the magical words and tactics to land me he started beating me down. He had me thinking I was a horrible person, mother, etc. and had me reevaluating everything in my life. To say the least he broke me down into a needy, unconfident, weak women who relied on my relationship with him for survival. It almost drove me into a true deep depression but I was able to beat it. A friend told me one day Brenda you are dating a narcissit. I started studing and reading about the disorder and sure enough it was like reading my life each and everytime. It took that for me to realize what was happening to me. I have been in recovery and have been building myself back up again. I still find myself trying to make sense out of things that can not have sense made out of them like the message I sent you the other day. I look back at it and say Brenda come on that is the old you and you know better. I keep reaching out to people who help and remind me it is NOT me it is him and his issues.
I guess I am reaching out to understand the disorder so I continue to build the strength to get out. I have made changes that will enable me to break away. We live together and there were alot of finacial things I have had to work on changing.