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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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hi Dr. Rossi, I am having a mely down inside. My bf came home

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hi Dr. Rossi,
I am having a mely down inside. My bf came home and he immediatley tore off his clothes and was on the phone when he walked in the door. said he had some dangerous chemicals on his clothes. He took a shot of jsck danials for his throat and jum[ed in the shower and didn't bring his guitar home from the office since last thursday. He said he was in another building and forgot to get his guiatar because he had to get home to get the chemicals off him.//./ I am having a hard time bekieving that all these people called to cancel rehaersal and he came home a little later than normal... he has an answer for everything?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 1 year ago.

Hi Judy,

 

You'd want to find more info about what he's saying before you become too anxious thinking that something had happened.

If his work involves working w/ chemicals, it could be true. If you know of the other performers where the performance was to take place, you may casually check in w/ them.

 

You can look for other things such as how are the two of you are getting along in general, if the passion is still there, etc. Then, if there are any changes, determine if these are as a result of his stress level increasing, having some other difficulties ex: financial, dealing w/ his patent, etc.

 

His behavior does not seem to be suspicious in regard to taking his clothes off like that. If he wanted to be secretive don't you think he could of done it differently?

 

 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am suspicious...he keeps his phone upside down. I just sense he is keeping things from me. Like he tol me we were going to drop off a guitar for so much money and then he didn't bring it home but said he left it at work and the guy didn't want that one but one he just ordered parts for. He keeps changing plans in mid stream. When I asked him questions i watched his eyes go to the left on things i wondered about and saw his eyes go to the right whtn i knew what was true. he is making me nervous and not secure where i can talk to him about any o this without sounding weird.... i am not even sure if he is for real with his work...what do i do? he knows Im not myself now. He is secretitive in his texting and emails. He said he couldn't send an email so he keep writing and trying... but I thought I saw him read someting and smile and write again.
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 1 year ago.

For now, you would want to make sure that you're not projecting this mistrust onto him unless there are facts to go by. Body language (where his eyes shift) is not always reliable. Are you suspecting that he's talking to his ex or a new person?

You'd want to get some sort of confirmation from others i.e. the guy who wanted the guitar in order to match your suspicions w/ the facts. He may feel wary sensing your lack of trust and acting this way as a result of it (protecting himself).

 

Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
Dr. Rossi and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I just spoke to him that i feel he cant talk to me and he said he desn't like to see me upset. he said there isn't anything wrong with us just business and starting his up his band... So we spoke about our future and now i feel close to him and told him I need him to feel he can speak to me and that was bothering me that he felt he couldn't. he has spoken to me but I guess i had to speak to him. We seem tight and are planning a future together because his business is going to take off in 60 days and he has alot of things he needs to attend to including me. Thank you for your guidance.
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 1 year ago.

You welcome Judy.

Try to remember that men like to be more independent. He may want to fix things on his own first before he burdens you w/ his issues. That can reflect in his behavior. It would even be more stressful to him having to justify what's happening if you think he's being dishonest/unfaithful.

At least now you took it in the open how you felt and he had responded to you well.

 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
im sorry it took me so long to respond. Dr. Rossi last night I went to an open mike with him and had a few beers but when we left i told him he didn't even notice me and he go mad and said he isnt going to baby sit me and that he did notice me. he did but i just needed him to say saomething about my singing... and he said he was doing business and that he didnt do anything wrong and i said he was cold to me than. we got back and he stormed out of here and said I would be gone in the morning. i called him and he finally answered...saaid I get ballergerent when I drink and I said i was sorry. he left this morning and asked me to out for breakfast but i couldnt and now there is a arehersal this evening and I dont know if i am going. i texted him and said i felt awkward... no response yet. I feel awful. that is the second time he left me when we had an arguement... i asked him if he wanted me to leave this morning he said course not...

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