I am a hoarder and I took the first step and admitted it to my sister. Now I have decided to move out but my landlord wants to do a walk through right now. The house is a mess! How do I explain to them that I am a hoarder and never meant for it to get out of hand. Im super stressed about what they think of me. Thank you for any advice you can give me.Shannon
Person's Gender: Female
Person's Age: 44
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation you are facing.
Compulsive hoarding is a concrete disorder and shame and guilt would not help, while acknowledging reality, taking responsibility and being proactive getting necessary support and working on changes is the way to go.
You cannot go back in time and change what is already done, but you have the power, need and responsibility to take good care of yourself and life now. it is your present the only thing you can truly control, so please focus on that and only consider the past as a way to learn from it but nothing m,ore.
You need to get professional psychotherapy to work on this obsession - compulsion, and help to clean everything there. Please focus all your energy on solving this problem, no need to waste more of your life and peace on what already happened. Now your sister knows and you have taken the first most important step to rehabilitate from it.
I have been living in such a unhappy world. I know I need to do better.Taking these first steps have been really hard. I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I want to believe I can handle whats coming my way. I just wish the anxiety of what people think of me would ease up a little. I dont know why that bothers me. You have been helpfull and I know I need to get more counseling for my problem. I want a active normal life.
Part of your own healing process is to come to terms with the fact that people could and will continue to think anything they want, that it is useless to depend on that, but that it is essential for you to learn to take good care of yourself, to work on yourself and on how to truly create and promote not only good health but real meaning and fulfillment in your life.Nobody can control other people but we all need t learn to control ourselves, eradicating self-sabotage and improving the way we cope with life issues. This painful situation is a chance for you to commit to these necessary changes, it is absolutely worthy and you will feel grateful about it if you face it with responsibility and gentleness towards yourself.
People develop this disorders mainly because of not finding real, healthy meaning, fulfillment and relief in their lives, attaching to possessions creating the illusions it would give them some refuge. It is life itself what challenges such illusion, and shows you through pain that change is needed. You need and deserve a good and fulfilling life, and the anxiety and emptiness you have been experiencing need to be addressed with sound professional support. Once you commit to it you will start feeling and being more yourself and create a life as you long for and deserve.
Your right. Its time for me to think of myself. I do deserve a normal life. Thank you for your chat. I will seek help and I know I will get better it will just take some time.
You're very welcome. Please work on becoming unconditionally gentle, understanding, patient supportive and compassionate towards yourself, eradicating any form of codependency and allowing healthy and caring people to support you. it is hard but worthy. I know counseling would be a healing tool for you to grow stronger and wiser from it. Thank you for your trust and please feel free to contact me for any further support.
Thank you Rafeal.
You're welcome. take gentle care and consistent action. Bye for now.
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach