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Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
By the sound of things it doesnt sound like you leaving has gotten him into reality?
You can only do so much if he is unwilling to look at his behavior, explain why things have been the way they are.
would he be willing to go to couples counseling and would you?
you have been betrayed on several levels and it is hard to recover from that without support.
He says the reason he did that was for attention and I wasn't "handling my business" as his wife. Prior to that he was conversing online with another women in San Francisco. He told her he was divorced and a single parent when he was indeed married. I feel if he is blaming me for his actions there is no hope that he will ever change.
that is exactly right...that was my first very strong reaction when reading your above statement.
men cheat because of their own issues and not because of you.
If he doesnt take responsibility and really look at his behavior then I agree with you, things wont change and the best you can do is focus on you and your healing.
i know the kids want something else, but you cannot live in this way and that would not be necessarily the best for the kids...to live in that strife.