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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2809
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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My husband and i have been married for 13 years now , but know

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My husband and i have been married for 13 years now , but know each other since 18 years ! We have a 5 year old son in this marriage . Since 2012 our relationship has been tumultous , for the longest time i felt he was having an affair ,and my worst fears came true this January . All these years our sex life took a back seat , conversations became arguments and we became non entities . During many of these fights i decided to opt out , but after days of no communication ( from both ends ) for the sake of my son i'd stay on . We started rebuilding our marriage post his cheating and even during this phase he kept contact with this other woman ( an office colleague ) he got deeply and emotionally involved with this person that he started writing poetry on her ( i found some of the poems on his laptop ) . when confronted about this he denied any involvement . His communication with her weaned off ONLY after i involved her parents in this matter and she was asked to back off by them . My problem is ever since this betrayal has happened thrice , i donot wish to stay with him , i don't love or respect him anymore . I want to opt out , he wants to make it work .... although he does very little to change his upsetting attitude / behaviour . He hasn't even made any effort to make me feel special or spend exclusive time with me . Do i believe him yet again , or lie low until my son grows up and then part ways ... life sucks like this , he was once my Hero , but now i abhor him :(

CoachJenK :

Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

CoachJenK :

I am so sorry to hear of all this strife and betrayal. I completely understand how you are feeling and your desire to opt out.

CoachJenK :

Sometimes staying together for the sake of a child is not always the best way as the strife and tension can be pretty difficult for the child. We often think that splitting up is worse, but that is not always the case if things are handled well and the love and consistency for your son remains.

CoachJenK :

I will wait for you to come online so we can chat further.

CoachJenK :

I know how hard this is for you and rightly so. I am here to support you.

CoachJenK :

Are you here with me?

CoachJenK :

Let me know how I can support you.

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