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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi steven olsen please last night rob and id dint talk much,

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hi steven olsen please

last night rob and id dint talk much, i was pretty tired as i had been out most of the day and had enough. i did tell him i was worried about the black suv, and he told me im paranoid. i still kept worrying while kate who sipped soda, turned inot a mexican jumping bean. she was brought upstairs at 11pm and was jumping on the bed and rob kept telling her in this fake stern voice (ok it sounded fake to me..) to stop it and kate would just laugh so im thinking... it sounded fake to her too. until even rob started laughing. i was still worrying and rob went to sleep, i got kate and got her to lay down and drink soem bottle and she went to sleep. anyway this am i saw rob but forgot he had no car to get to the lirr station. and i also forgot to give him the crv keys to go and pick the car up. i jumped out of bed a few minutes after he left the bedroom. and im claling him and calling and i cant find him. i see his stuff is gone, so i call his cell and im like where the f**k are you? he said i started to walk. i said youre going to walk a mile and a half? (thats driving and i suslaly get on a highway) so im like youre not walking and you didnt take the other car keys. so he com es back and hes like now im late.. so i said well why dont you say to me i need a ride? or call a cab? i mean what is this? so we dotn even have cab co we use b/c we always drive ourselves and i said forget it get the baby put her in the car and ill drive you. so he says i don want you to do that.. so i said well too bad im wide awke from having a heart attack seeing the minivan is still here, youre gone. i mean my god steven. whats wrong with him? i feel like hes so like silently suffering.

i still cant get the suv out of my head. i dotn know why. its just bothering me. like it was as soon as he saw me wlak to our mailbox at the end of the driveway.. he took off. if i had known i wouldnt have gotten out of the car. and ive been being pretty aware that im looking for unknown cars since ive been out of work due to paranoia. and rob said im paranoid too. i told him i had good reason to be.

his mother didnt quite defend him. she just said like i dotn know where his mind is.. and then she just said leave him be. and i said oh im leaving him be. im not telling him anything about the baby, i guess everyone will know except him. and i didnt tell him til he asked. b/c im a stubborn stubborn bitch. if he didnt asdk last night i still wouldnt have told him. and i didnt yell i didnt say anything. he apologized and said im sorry for screwing tonight up. when he did ask i said oh i thought youd never ask.. he said well i figured if you wanted to go to dinner everything was ok.

rob is like a pied piper.. little kids just like him. even my friends adopted daughter just loved him. i think its a quietness he has or soemthing. my mil said.. kids always liked rob. not peers (lol) littler kids.like when he was a teenager and his mom always had all these after school kids and daycare crap going on.
rob hates baseball, but i can see my dad and brother and bil going crazy with a boy. my dad just was like a boy a boy. he was honed in. i told my bro and he said well ill be happy when you and the baby are ok. when i asked if he was happy its a boy.
although kate chants lets go mets alot now. hmm.

im sorry it wasnt really your parents choice to make you an only. although you are well adjusted b/c of the situation. you must be close with your mother. but it def sounded hard growing up for you.
i was going tot ell you its pretty easy to get hit by a car in manhatten. i was at union sq yest and i actually started aiming at people. they really are assholes.
while i was getting my hair done we were watching this guy across the street on the roof a building.. and i said ok.. is he going to jump? so i kinda got everyone involved and we ate lunch and watched this guy. then he was on his cell phone and he was pacing and seemed pissed. i said oh hes homicidal not suicidal. lol i said its either wife or boss, wife or boss, so everyones guessing and we made up dialogue. the guy was either bald or had a bald spot And a crew cut.. so said.. when i first started this job i had a full head of hair!! the guy didnt end up jumping but.. it did entertain me. the gay guy at the salon was there feeling my breasts and hes like my god liz theyre so heavy i said yes i know. preg. and then i said youre def gay right? and hes like totally. so im like ok why the breasts? and he said oh i like to pretend theyre mine. i said ok...
why would you want breasts? i get why hetero men do. its like yay breasts but then.. you dotn have to deal with except when you want to. but he kept feeling them.. i said look constantine.. this is getting weird. so hes like ok ill give you a break. i told him if he didnt id call him dino. he hates that.

as for the lawyer.. i shouldve asked will i be compensated for my time?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Hi Liz...get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, Steven
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
ok steve
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven, when i told rob i needed a new account.. he said look tell steve well just write hima check every month.. i told him you couldnt b/c of ja rules and he was like ok...lol.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Baby on Board? Well, at least you seem to have bonded with the baby, that is for sure.

 

So, Rob wants to keep me on retainer? We might be able to work something out (lol). But I doubt the JA folks would approve.

 

Rob either has a martyr complex or simply, like many men, prefers to handle problems on his own. Walk a mile and half, where it normally would be a highway drive? Sure. Lots of men would do that. I am serious. I would. Silently suffering? I am not too sure if that is the case, but he does have a strong streak of male stubbornness. And, I am sure you recall talking about that particular trait in him...right?

 

I am not sure what to make of your concern about the black suv. I would be a 100% bet that it had nothing to do with work, but could this be TMM? I am not very sure if that would be the case, but it is my only thought aside from a random thing. Still, it is odd.

 

Rob has that personality that attracts kids and dogs. It is innate to some people and usually those with a good heart I have found. He seems like an old soul in a way, and one that is a little melancholy. At least that is my read. But the rest of the family is psyched about the baby, now that you have the boy parts identified properly on the view screen. And, baseball does not a man make. I hate baseball myself. Boring game in my opinion. Now football...another story. At least Rob seems comfortable in his own right and seems to be okay being himself, which is not something that a lot of men feel okay about. He will make a fine father of a boy. But he should have asked you about the baby a lot earlier. True he had a lot on his mind, but still.

 

We all have our burdens, and although it was hard growing up, and there were issues, I did find a way to use those abilities, created by being alone so much, for good use. (Just as you developed a quick sense of wit; great memory and good instincts.) Our rough spots in life polish the person that we will become. And, even though your mother cost you so much in terms of esteem and self value, she is an excellent guide to how not to be in many situations. Simply, do the opposite.

 

I really had to read the stuff about the gay guy and your breasts a couple of times. Really? He touched you? You were alright with this? (And, I have to admit, if he was straight, what a good excuse for a behavior...let me touch you, I am gay.) But still, gay or not this was a huge invasion of your personal space. 100% that someone violated his personal space when he was little. That kind of stuff does not surface without a past driving it.

 

Compensated by your attorney? Why, you could try. But I am not sure you can get blood from a stone. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
well i ran out of names honestly. so this just occured to me. and out of lack of wanting to think anymore.. i just said ok thats the name. its only for 1 month anyway.

if your wife could drive you, you wouldnt say.. hey i dont have the car could you give me a ride? thats it. its gotta be this whole like last minute panic and he just takes off and then its like im walking.. what? all he had to do was say liz i need a ride. that s it. no i didnt want to drive in my nightgown to the train station with a baby who was perfectly asleep and now wide awake due to the transfer in the car seat. but we went. and i would do it for him. he picked me up so many times at work when i worked in manhatten. and he picked me up a ton after we moved to long island. hed drive all the way in and wait if i wasnt ready. or wait to take the lirr with me and never said a word. and there were a few other nurses whos husbands were not happy waiting. believe me. sitting there with rob and come out and ask teh nurse 20 times. are you ready? no asshole. were still writing.


tmm? well he didnt have a black suv when i last spoke/ or dealt with him. but its like 2 years. i have different cars myself. both of them. so if he saw my minivan he wouldnt knwo it was mine unless hes come by the house and saw the 2 cars in the driveway. i kind of know where his house is, but one i dotn go that way b/c i dont go to anything really over there.. and 2 i dont want to specifically go to his house. it didnt look like him in the drivers seat though honeslty. not that i got the best best look, or was looking for him. it was soemone in sunglasses, a man, white.. with dark hair. and in a big black suv. what kind i dont know. its a car ive never seen before. and for it tot ake off as soon as i walked downt eh driveway to the mailbox.. well to me thats weird.

it was sunny out so i wouldnt have been able tot ell if there was a flash or not. so i dotn know who or what it was about. im trying not to think about it. i didnt hear anything form work and i stayed home all day.


i just dont trust anyone, and i could see themn being like youre out sick and youre here there the other place. but he did say i could do some things... he said no shopping which i did do.. but it wasnt heavy lifting just walking..

anyway and come in to hr so we cna terminate you.


i finally got the call back from my reg ob last night at 7pm after waiting all day to hear ok you can go to work. so annoying. so im going to call peter at like 9am to let him know. hes usally walking in now.. i hope they dont say oh you have to got o medical to be checked out or some crap.


rob is noit a sports fan and .. doesnt watch any sports. not one. i used to watch baseball all the time.. i used to actually listen to it on the radio - the announcers were better - and itd be sunset or dark and the window would be open and id listen. i stopped watching b/c rob didnt and i havent really cared since. i think weve gone to like one met game. i want to take kate though. i think shed like it.


i got a little nasty with rob and kate yesterday afternoon. kate wanted to watch the incredibles on blue ray. except even though its 6 months ive never worked the blu ray player. ok. so i have to call rob at work, while my focus is off kate she decides to spill a full glassof water hidden by rob behind the lamp on the end table. i clean up all this crap every morning, and i didnt see it. so kate spills it all over the loveseat the lamp, the table and the frekaing floor. youd think it was a gallon of water. so kate is trying get my attention while im tryinmg to do this and im like kate let me finish and i look and i yelled at her. and then i added the comment that i have to clean this all up, and the n after all i do all day daddy can coem home and criticsize me for not getting enough doen around this f**king house. and i told her im tired of her making messes. so she started crying and rob sounds upset on the phone and i felt bad, but really its the gods honest truth. i do take time outs, but im doing all day. im not just reading a magazine. so rob didnt start with me and said i love you and hung up. we didnt talk again til the end of the day that kate was crying at 5pm asking to call rob. i told her no several times and she brought me a phone again and i said fine well call. so she spoke to him her baby talk and i said ok ill let you go and he said ok i love you. i said like yeah love u too. there was no reason for me to be bitchy really. nothing happened. so then he texted me he was in queens getting the car and what were we doing for dinner? did i want himt o get soemthing in queens i want.. i did but the cost and trime.. i was just like forget it. so he texted no its ok i owe you for last night. i said its fine ill just order a pizza here. and i did. i didnt eat much. whihc i know is weird.. i cant eat much at a time. i feel more preg than i am. i have the scary feeling this will be a 9lb baby again. and ill tell you know steven i dotn want a vag delivery i just dont. not again.


i know i was bitchy and mean to rob and kate after i yelled at her too. i dotn normally, but its just like im here - bopth your parents are working on making her happy and hse has to be a little snot and do that. she cant just sit and wait a minute. and no i dont care that shes 2. she can sit and wait a minute.


the gay guy i know for years and years. hes def gay. he actually told me he liked my husband. i told him im keeping that between me and him. so rob doesnt know. i think he might be better off not knowing about his gay crush. not that rob has anything against gay guys, and hes never said like a bad thing about gay guys. but.. well robs married. and i dotn know how hed take it. hed prob be like really? but.. why give him any unnecessary angst. but constantine said this years and years ago. the girls in the salon were telling me oh robs cute.. he wouldnt come in til i called him and said coem in here. he was waiting outside. i said why wont you come in? your outie wont turn into an innie if you do. so he did.. and was polite as he always is..

anyway constantine has been touching my breasts from when i was thin.

he has things he get s jealous about on certain girls. like another girl has really nice hair.. and h e likes to put his fingers in her hair and flip it all over and he shows her how she should walk all bitchy. its funny really.

but i do like to ask while hes checking them out... like youre def gay right?

i kn ow the poor thing his father is very mad at him for being gay and a more effeminate one at that...

ive tried to talk to him.. he asked about my mom the other day and said ah i guess were ok. thats why i talk to a therapist. he said oh thats ok me too.


dr b.

well i told dr b, listen im coming back to work mon so tell all your little sluts to stay away from you when i get back. so he said im not going to be in next week im going to bermuda. i said oh its this week - he did tell me awhile ago he was going..

anyway he said oh they know im your territory. no one f**ks with you liz. i said yeah sure. so i said youre not tkaing me to bermuda? he said you have to be rested and healthy to be the vessel of life for the baby. i said yeah a good way to do that would be to take me to bermuda.

i also added btw its a boy.. he didnt answer though.it was late last night well see if he answers today..

why am i not looking forward to calling peter?

and im kicking myself that im working mon tue wed instead of my usualy sun-tue thing. it makes for one less day off between my following week.. its a mess really. i feel like ic an do 3 day s aweek anymore steven. its too much. really really its too much. i know i cant not do full time.. but i just dont want to.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Would I ask for a ride? Depends. Depends on how stubborn I am that day or if I am feeling sorry for myself and want to look miserable by walking or just am so used to handing things that I would not want to bother my wife. I am not sure. But lots of men do this. It may not make a lot of sense, but it is pretty typical. And, there is no offense involved. It is just how some men are. I am certain he knows you would do this for him, but sometimes just want to do things ourselves. Plus, look how great he is about doing when he picked you up. He was a real show piece,acting all civilized and patient. I think he is just so used to this independent role that he makes himself suffer as a norm.

 

I have been and seen exactly where you are with the water and the blu ray and the whole stressed to the max over messes thing. When you have more than one child this will turn into family meetings where you lay down the law about cleaning only to have it violated time and time again. But, I do get it. No one seems to know how to operate a hand, one that is used to take a glass back into the kitchen. And toddlers and cleaning...aside from that horrible Barney clean up video I have never seen any child that age clean consistently. (Although I think they should. Really, if a calf can stand in 20 minutes and run with the herd in an hour why can't our kids clean up instinctually?)

 

At least you got a pizza out of the whole escapade, even though you were not that hungry. I will say that you sound familiar with the holly crap how big is this baby going to be thing. Come to PA. I think we have the highest c section in the country. I thin if you ask, they will make up something to make that happen. But, not to be odd, but I have a feeling this will be a c section for you. I don't know why. It is just a feeling.

 

Constantine: Overbearing strong father with weaker driven son who also has mom issues....hence the effeminate male. Yup, that makes some sense I will say. But his behavior, even for a histrionic gay male is pretty out there. Squeezing your boobs...that is going a bit too far, even if he does want a set.

 

Dr b is on vacation again? Didn't he just go? At least he knows his place and role with you. I doubt you will let him forget it. lol

 

XXXXX XXXXXkes to make big deals out of nothing, so I am not surprised that you would feel so hesitant about calling him. The schedule sounds terrible too. Can you change it the following week to your normal next time? Is this due to spray park thing? I know you are tired. Who would not be with all the stress and the pregnancy on top of it. Simple to say, but take each day a little piece at a time, a morning, an afternoon, a night. This will pass. Maybe you should plan another vacation after the baby comes as something to look forward to? That often helps as a good goal when you feel down. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i like that. how miserable i want to look walking by myself down t he road. no i mean come on. its 90 degrees out. its just ridiculous. plus do you want to be a sweaty mess by the time you take the train, and then walk again in the city? he walks from penn to his job too. its just stupid.

kate did take a towel and try to clean it but shes too little to clean a mess of that magnitude. ive started sending her to the kitchen with empty bottle s and she puts them in the sink and with great fan fare says 'i did it'

and we did start making her clean up any spills or cheerios on the floor. but its still not like i cleaned. i mean shes 2. i cant really fault her. and now we use her to send stuff to each other (i know, were f**ked up) like here bring this to daddy. and then he sends stuff with her to me too. or i send her like go get the napkin on the table.. and she fetches.


my stupid dr is like is c sections arent good for you, and im not planning one for you blah blah. and ive been told apparently im all stretched out now due to the 9lb baby i had already. when i called him on it he said i meant your pelvic muscles. you wont have to work like last time. whatever. im not pushing for 4 and half hrs again on a pitocin drip without pain meds. and i already told rob he better advocate for me. otherwise hell need to advocate for himself for pain meds. that black eye will look real nice with the newborn pictures.

my real problem is like. i just want my dr k there. i dotn want to deal with his other nutjobs.



so dr b did text me and say its great im having a boy.. the family name lives on.. i old him since my husbands name is XXXXX XXXXX common (german) last name i wasnt too concerned really.

so hes leaving sat to go with the whole family to go to bermuda.

i called peter to let him know im returning to work, and he said ok, fax me a note from the drs office saying you can return to work with no restrictions. so i called and asked them to. hopefully they do it... theyre closed tomorrow and i need it for monday. i asked peter if i could just bring it in and he said no.. i need it before. i said ok. ill fax it over. oye vey.

they make everything so hard. but at least i dont have to employee health. i thought he was going to say that next...

ive been looking at my bugaboo double stroller again. its $1500 whihc rob is like oh come on. i thought it was 1k. but it converts to a double froma single and back again. so if i drop kate at a thing, i can convert it and it be a single, and keep going with the littler one. i dotn know if i should get a cheaper stroller. but i really like this one..


the spray park shud be fun and not only jens going but my friend kathys family. so i am commited

ill just live with the schedule change...

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Rob and self punishment. Well, it would seem to me that there are aspects of his personality that fit this behavior somewhat. We did mention some sex preferences that seem in-line with these types of actions as well. So, perhaps it is more than simply stubbornness. It may meet a need in him to be punished.

 

Don't feel badly about sending Kate for this or that. Half of my kids' lives are spent fetching this or that or taking things to mom or dad. It is what we parents do you know!

 

You sound a lot like my wife with the pitocin drip and death threats. I know that this is not easy to deal with as there is no break on the contractions and frankly, I think it was the most pain my wife had been in, ever. My wife is pretty tough and she was crying and moaning in pain unceasingly. I don't envy you and it sounds like your doctor is pretty convinced that it is going to be a vaginal birth if he can help it. (recovery is faster...I know...if you were here you would slap me. It was the only reframing that was positive that I could come up with.)

 

Common or not; it is the family name that lives on...and it is nice, and I feel even better, that with this child you will have that wonderful balance of male and female. And, Kate will keep him in line. I can't wait to see her at 12 and this one at 9.5yrs. He is in big trouble I think.

 

1,500 for a stroller? Well, if you want it I guess that is okay. Seems a bit steep to me. For that price it should come with electric drive and a chauffeur.

 

Spray parks are fun and yes, I guess there isn't much you can do with the schedule change at this point. But it still sucks. Steven

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steve. we just got home from being out from 1030 am. kate played all day. allll day.
1st we went to mommy an d me. jen didnt go but cassie did with jens in laws. they are assholes. i was supposed to have a chair due to my preg and so was jen. except these 2 took them. as soon as they walked in, they said were grandparents and we can do all this up and down and planted their asses in the chairs. they handed cassie to me thinking i was one of the mommy and me teachers. i corrected them but i still had cassie. cassie acted weird too. she cried alot and really hard for things thaqt really werent a big deal. kat e kept trying to talk to her and hug her.. and cassie wouldnt go near her.


anyway i was kind of pissed that jenn didnt coem b/c she didnt tell me she wasnt coming til yest whe n i was like the class is at 1130am like normal right? and she said yes, and i said ok ill see you there. and then she said she wasnt going. she said we cud meetup after, but i was like ah whatev er to myself. when we were at the class the in laws said jen was sleeping and they had to go pick up dominic. (who is a bully btw.)

so i didnt text her and she texted me at like 2pm and said ive been waiting to hear from you.. i said well ur in laws said they were picking up dominic and you were sleeping so i wanted to leave you alone. i really did have that excuse planned, b/c honestly i was pissed about her not telling me she wasnt showing up.

so she came and met me at mc donalds, and she spilled her drink. everytime we go, she spills her drink. i dont know what the hell it is, but the kids arent even touching it and she spills her drink. and its always like im evacuating the table b/c its pouring onto the kids..


meanwhile it seemed like kate was more friendly and spoke more to the other kids.. she also (the daredevil) climbed to the top of the mc donalds playhouse thing its over 1 story high, i was nervous she would get stuck and then i would have to go and try to ghet her and then be stuck like winnie the pooh ass out and the not the fire dept coming but the news. jenn said oh let them go, and i was like if she falls down this tube thing or starts crying i wont be able tog et her and shes like shes not going to fall. i said oh you say that awfully sure of yourself, meanwhile u have a stroke if the kids touch something. im worried my kids going to fall one story and shes worried about billions of germs coming to get her kids.. meanwhile she hasnt even vaccinated cassie. shes not up to date. which by the way annoys me. i believe in herd strength o f immunity and this protects people who are like infants who cnat be vaccinated or cancer pts or immune compromised pts.. anyway, jen has soem annoying stuff about her. i dotn know if im prickly and just too picky...?


well we stayed for 5 hrs and even b y then kate after climbing all the way and sliding down and going across the net tunnel 1 story up, and then going into the rocketship at the end of he net tunnel.. i thought i would still get afight about leaving but i told kate we needto go now and she said baba? and we go home now? i said yes baby and she said ok.. no one was more shocked than me.


right before all that.. jen was looking on her phone - shes on the internet searching for things, on facebook, you know, like doing everything but noticing her kids. im of course mainly watching kate with keeping an eye on her kids. kate is the littlest and i feel kind of young for all this. well, theres a gate that slams shut to keep the kids inside and to stop anyone from forgetting to close it. it goes to the mc donalds and out to the parking lot. like you step of the sidewalk and the parking lot is right there. there spots right there. so i see kate looking at the mural on the wall. were still sitting in the plaground area but in the outdoor eating area is the side of the mc donalds with this huge old mural of the hamburgular and grimace and these little mop guys that i cant remember their names. so i see kate looking and dominic and cassie are there. jen says soemthing to me about i need to get a facebook page, which me and her have this argument often and i cant seem to get it thru her head that i dont want anyone lookign at my photos and i dotn have time etc. she reminds me theres privacy settings but still i dont want things on the internet. well i dotn know what makes me turn around literally right behind jen is dominic and kate standing right on the curb outside the play park right next to the parking lot. so im about to yell when i think better of it and i fly around to the gate fling it open and grab kate 1st then dominic and drag them both back in. and heres where im upset. i bring kate back in and i guess i said it sternly.. i didnt really yell - but i told kate she should never wlak away from me outside of the park and weve spoken about if the ground turns black its the street and the white is the sidewalk. so it old her and she gets very upset and goes into the toddler play area and cries. shes hiding behind this playground toy thing. i turn my attention back to jen who i hear saying in this like hippie dippy voice dominic you know youre older and you shouldnt have opened the gate, kate is little blah blah blah. now maybe it was all my adrenaline, but steve honestly my daughter couldve been killed and i feel really strongly about that. if a car just pulled inot the lot and kat ehad stepped off the curb esp with people and suvs, they couldve hit her. kate is not a city kid as i remind rob, and while shes in the city half the week, i dotn think shes used to cars being close etc. in the city, kids are more mindful of cars. i saw the kid across the street from me get hit by a car. when i was a little kid too. she was younger than me but still it shakes you up badly and the kid was really seriously injured. she lived but never walked the same again. and they said she wasnt mentally all there.. of course my mom said she wasnt even before the accident but she was 6 or 7 so what do i know? i was like 9.

anyway i wanted to scream at dominic like i was out of control and i said to jen ok ive had enough and lets go. kate came out and when i said to her lets go home she said what i wrote above. im upset with jen b/c if my son or daughter it doesnt matter but if my kid did that i would tell them what if a car came? what if she darted out? shes a toddler. and hes a whole 5 years old. not exactly age appropriate anyway.

i mean the whole dya i listened to jen about how when she was akid she was in trouble all the time from being bored and then she would do things so its importnat for dominic to be kept interested and active and blah blah. and i said yes, but there is such a thingas overscheduling them. and there is some boredom in life. you cant have it like non stop fun and partying all day. that swhy people cant function today at jobs. anyway i cant stand this whole oh hes this and blah blah, luckily it doesnt take much to get thru to kate i guess or she really is that well behaved as my parents say although i think i work hard with her.

i mean i hear jen yell at dominic plenty and she didnt that time. one of the most dangerous times. of course yes kate was involved but if he ahd taken cassie and done that i wouldve ran the way i did to get them. but i didnt feel like she took it seriously. i told rob what happeend and he of course didnt seem too shaken up.. but said well thats why the kids a little f**k still. like i see his faces and jen calls it being a little scooch and i said no jen hes being mean (that worries me about children when you see that mean streak..) or he was making all these stupid faces at the boy he was bullying. and the boy was crying so the father said fine its hot if youre crying lets go. but he was sitting further away as jen and i were on the bench in the playground. i didnt feel like he saw what alittle f**k dominic was being. and i hate to say that about a child but i think he needs a good hard slap. dominics excuse was they wanted to go inot mcdonalds.. for what? i dont know. i didnt say another word cuz i know myself and my lack of filter and i wouldve said.. well i think you know what i wouldve said.

i dont know steve, do you think i got overly upset? i feel of course it wouldve been my fault too, i mean but i really do watch kate. if i cant see her i move to see her you, know.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Doesn't it suck when you have a real need to be in a chair and a bunch of inconsiderate people take it? I used to hate that when my wife was pregnant and some guy (usually older) would hurry to take the last seat somewhere; even though my wife, obviously pregnant, could have used it far worse.

 

Some kids like Cassie do not do well socially at age 2. They become reactive in their attachments and act as she did. Sometimes that is a sign of a home life that is chaotic and one that gives poor emotional support, sometimes it is just a stage of development. Hard to say here in this case.

 

Jen says she is coming and then does not? That is not good, and I can understand why you feel angry at her. It was nice she met up with you at McDonald's, but too much too late in some respects. Spilling her drink all the time is a sign of anxiety, usually with people who feel insecure around others. When we are anxious it reduces our coordination responses, hence the spills.

 

Your friend sounds like she has some issues that go beyond that of most people. I doubt you are just being picky. She seems like she is angry to me, but shows it in less than overt ways, like avoiding vaccinations.

 

The reaction you gave over the gate issue is typical for parents who care about their kids. We call them the "like us paranoid types", my wife and I. We watch our kids like hawks and create safety limits everywhere. Then there are those like your friend, the " my kids survive in spite of me" parents. They act concerned, sort of, when things happen, but take very little initiative when it comes to child safety, and mainly make a pseudo show about being concerned when their, or your child, comes close to death.

 

This is especially true of issues where their own kids nearly kill your own. Btw this behavior has ended our relationships with some parents as we will not let them near our kids because of this lax attitude. I understand this so well. I do not hesitate to keep my kids away from folks like this and a friends with them, minus the kid things if I can help it.

 

Do I think you overreacted? No way. I want to kill her and her kid. What is with that behavior, ignoring potential danger and allowing her kid to contribute to the situation? No, no overreaction here. I am certain that I too would have been more than annoyed and pretty angry instead. This was unacceptable and I would certainly question how I felt about my relationship, at least in this way, with her and her son.

 

I guess even Kate has her energy limits. She sounded like she was really ready to go. And, five hours in a McDonald's. I do not know how you did that. I can't do more than two, and five...well, that seems like a lot. No wonder she was ready to leave.

Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven, today is supposed to be the spray park but its supposed to rain. so now i took off for nothing. which is really annoying. anyway 1st i texted kathy and said do you need anything? so she texts oh were not sure were coming we heard it might rain. now. rob and i had been cleaning all this stuff. getting the minvan ready . the cooler etc. i did hear a chance of rain.. but didnt pay too much attention to it. anyway i was pretty pissed b/c its like when did they plan on telling me that? and its like they alway cancel on us. i mean im lucky and was concerned when she went to kathys a couple of weeks ago i wouldnt be able to rely on them due to this last minute cancellation situation with them. luckily she didnt. and ive been askig her what she wnats to do with bella b/c kathy not only doesnt drive, but they couldnt afford to send her to camp. so its like everyday kathy has to figute soemthing out. so i told her we can do stuff together and i would drive in get her and bella and wed go do stuff.
anyway, so that got me pissed really.

and it kinda got me not feeling this whole spray park thing. besides the issue with my schedule being screwed up.


jen is supposed to be with the kids also at the spray park as this is her 'event" but all the husbands are going too. so it may be interesting. although ive already met jens husband chris and i know kathys husband rob form when they met and got married. yrs and yrs ago.


its weird b/c cassie acts pretty friendly when shes with jen and i said oh i think cassie wasnt having a good day jen said cassie acts weird when chris parents are with her. i said she does? i dont even know what to think fo that. like if theyre very nervous people and the kid gets all up tight or theres soemthing more concerning going on with all that.


i was pretty close to smacking that kid dominic. pretty close. cassie is prety quiet although an annoying tattletale, i try to just ignore her like of jen and i are talking i dont even answer her, but if shes right in my face ive answered her. like yes im watching kate thank you.


the whole bullyign thing i saw with dominic bothered me and jen didnt seem to be watching. she kept calling hima scooch, but.. i think being a scooch is different than this little shit stirrer. like i had asked him to see if kate was ok in the tunnel and he went in and came back and was like shes not in here. now i know she was cuz i yelled to her and she answered, but like stop being an asshole dominic. i told rob hes got hip check that kid or do soemthing no one sees to show the little brat whos boss around here.


meanwhile the same day with jen i made a fauz paus. hopefully it just stays a fauz paus. jen didnt renew her bls - cpr certification. so she tells me, oh it expired a few weeks ago and she doesnt want tot ake it so shes going to wait til after the baby. in a month or so. so i said jen you cant do that, you cant work without it and if the hosp finds out they will suspend you. shes like no they wont. i said jen im telling you (how come everyone lives in these fake worlds of bullshit?) so i said fine im going to text the cpr guy. hes the one we basically pay and he gets us in and out and certified. so he says well fix everything up when i explain the whole situation. so it was his fiance last time when i took the class and now we heard they got married b/c jen called and spoke to his wife to book the clas. so they said theyd back date the class, she could go mon, she can bring cassie so she doesnt need a babysitter, blah blah. and the hosp is going to make you test and do cpr. i knwo theyre not going to do that. so they say ok $75. so jens like what? so she books the class and gives me a whole earful about $75 she could take at the hosp for free etc. so i said jen, if you go to the hosp theyre going to say youre working for a feww eeks without it, threy could suspend you for 2 weeks or whatever time to make up for it. theyre going to make you do the whole class b/c once you expire you can re certify, and theyre going to make do the cpr and correct you plus the test. i told her you f**ked up and this is the easy way out so youre gonna have to pay for the easy way out. so she says well moneys tight and i have another kid coming blah blah. so i said jen, you f**ked up. its your choice. really. i mean i tried to help you. and then youll have to wait til teh hosp has a class offered. and it might not be til next month so you wont make any money then.

i really felt like she had no choice. so she finally agrees. - this all reminds me too much of union situations where you get a sweet deal for the person and theyre still not f**king happy.

whihc is why im not the union rep.

anyway i was texting the guy thruout this and last time me and him spoke we were joking soemthing about having an affair or soemthing.

so i texted this time oh your wife called and we spoke with her and i love her shes so great and congrats on being married and i had put in there - thats why iwont have an affair with you.. plus im knocked up now.. he didnt answer. i didnt text again, but.. then i started worrying about it like crap, i hope he doesnt take it the wrong way, or did he forget how we spoke just afew months ago? so now of course im going to the bad place and im thinking like crap i hope he doesnt report me to like hr.. sigh. and yes its cloudy here but not raining yet.

i was going to text a sorry hope you know i was joking, but then i was like maybe i shud just let it lie.. not remind him of it. he may not even be thinking of it...

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Hi Liz...have a morning and afternoon that is packed with family stuff today, but I will talk with you tonight. Steven
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

The situation with Kathy is something that would really tick off most people, especially since you rearranged your schedule for this spray park trip. And, what is it about a chance of rain?

 

I mean it has been so crazy this summer with heat, and all that the odds the weather people are right about a big rain is not all that good. Besides, isn't the spray park about getting wet in the first place? The odds that it would pour and deluge isn't that high. This kind of thing, I would think, would really frost you. Friends that have this unreliable trait are difficult, for certain.

 

Cassie, if I read her right may indeed be picking up on the anxiety and up-tightness of her extended family. I have a feeling, professionally, that it is probably more than that, but I am not sure exactly what. I just do not know enough.

 

Dominic...I had my share of kids like this with my own. One just like him pinned by oldest when she was three into a tunnel at a McDonald's and would not let her get out. He took a wall pad off and held it as a wall. She was trapped between the wall and the pad in a really small space and could not get out. She developed a fear of enclosed spaces as a result and I still battle this with her on occasion. So when you talk about this kid, I really see the impact. And, I know what you mean about wanting to do something about him. When it is your kid getting placed in harm's way, the whole parental instinct comes out and all bets are off.

 

75 dollars to save a job? And, suspension is maybe what might happen. If it is is an action involving a patient, and the patient dies...she will not be looking at a suspension, but a termination and a loss of license. I am sorry to say this so bluntly, but your friend sounds like a nit-wit. You did a nice thing for her and she argues it. Solomon was right. Stay away from fools in their folly. You tries to help and she dumped it back on you. That is really sad. Her insight is somewhat less than stellar.

 

You do not need to worry about the cpr guy. I recall the past conversation pretty well and he was messing with you as well. I cannot imagine he is upset about this. In some cases a guy will go through a period where he feels he was too flirtatious and then reel himself back in, hard. In that case he will say nothing back. I doubt you have anything to worry about here. I would drop it. Stuff like that is not worth the effort as you did nothing wrong. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steve, went to the spray park.
kathy and rob with bella came and it drizzled soem hard drops but stopped and i and a few of us ended up even sunburned as the sun broke thru and we were kind of lax with sunblock and reapplying.


anyway we ended up staying the whole day and having dinner on the beach and listening to live music. anyway we paid for the "parking" fee. i drove and everyone piled into my minivan which i was fine with. then we can talk in the car and it was only 4 adults and 2 kids. so no biggie

so it was pretty easy drive.

prior to going i looked on the mothers group message board - to see id people were like were not going its raining etc. i felt pretty up in the air about going i didnt want to deal with sand if were going to be there for an hour. if you live in beach places likewe do now esp - you will chase sand for 6 months after beach season. pretty much til its time to go to the beach again. when i went alot before kate i used to call this house our beach house due to all the sand. so i saw a mom who had a 2 1/2 yr and a 3 yr old whos husband couldnt come and she said she was worried about going. so long story short i said if you want to coem - i have never posted on the message board btw - (this is why i have no f**king friends) pls come my husband and i and my friends will be there and we each only have one child and well just all help each other. a few minutes goes by and jen sends me this text. im writing exactly as she did. LIZ WHY DID U WRITE THAT? ITS MY EVENT. I CALL THE SHOTS WITH THIS ONE. f**k WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE JOIN THE GROUP THAT ARE NOT MEMBERS. GOOD GOD.

I felt my stomach turn, and im completely confused b/c the woman posted on teh message board and i thought it was only people in the group. we pay a membership fee. so i call jen. and i say how could she post on the board if shes not in the group? so she says well shes a mom whos b een trying to come to our events and doesnt want to join the group. so im like ok, i dotn understand. i dont do blogging or message boards, and im like ok. so i said well i asked you if i could bring my friends kathy and rob and you said ok. so she said yes i said ok to that (that was another thing she was upset that i said i was bringing another mom..) so then it turns out its a different theresa shes talking about. so i said so she is in the group? so she says yes but her kids are wild animals and i took your message down, and all this crap. so im like ok whatever jen. im def not getting anymore involved in this. i was hesistant and i guess i was right about that. it turns inot a whole shit and i didnt think i did soemthing wrong. so shes like no no you should and i said uh no im def not and said i had to go. so kathy and rob were running late - originally this stupid thing had been for 12 whe n i got the 'e-vite" but it was changed soemwhere along the line b/c the time then was 1pm when i had looked at the update. jen then texted me that she posted that we would all help out, but she reiterated that her kids were animals and have been thrown out of things due to bad behavior. i was going to say well it takes one to know one. or maybe her kid dominic doesnt get thrown out b/c shes the organizer and we have to lick her ass? so we arrived at the park at 1230. it had people, and we got spots towards the end. we couldnt see the spray park too well but it didnt matter to me b/c rob and i had to walk with kate anyway. if we were going to let her do on her own then id want her in my view. but i had no choice. ok, so we set up 6 people where we are. another girl from the group arrives quite some time after and we had saved room for others in the group.. and also to keep other families getting up out ass. ill tell you the truth i dont like when people are sitting next to you at the beach or anywhere close enought o be part of your group. yeah i know bitchy.

so nancy comes and were hanging out, and after 2pm jen comes in. so at first they sit with us. and she tells me how dominic (wait for this) yesterday - no explanation for being over an hour late.. - was mad and took casie and body slammed her onto a trampoline at a friends house. she said they were getting reayd to leave anyway but told him it was b/c of that. cassie of course was hysterical. now in the car on the wy i gave kathy n rob a quick heads up that they need to keep him away from bella. and that posibly although i wasnt certain - this kid may be satan.

i told them of my gate and kathys husband rob was like.. omg id have flipped the f**k out.

so hes like why are we going out with them? and i said well normally im not with dominic, im with cassie and jen and its ok. and i agreed to this long long ago.

so dominic starts running after bella and playing tag, bella reports back kind of - that he doesnt play fair - that was the gist i got - you know soem kidsa re not big talkers? bella isnt shes very like short sentenced. like she said he wasnt fair or something. so rob was watching both kate and bella. anyway bella stood up for herself and said i told you im not playing tag with you anymore. stop tagging me. so rob and i swicth although ai admit he did mor eof it than me - and dominic climbed on top of this mushroom spraying water - i told him get down youre going to crack your head (is it wrong some of us were hoping for it?) he said ina sing song voice - no i wont. and is aid ok girls this way. and led them away because he could fall in any direction and not on kate and bella thank you very much.

kate got scared at going down the big slide. i was surprised she walked all the way up and then chickened out. i was at the bottom to catch her and was ca;lling to her but she said no mommy no. i said its ok youll like it. and she just flat out refused. she played for hrs. anyway like 20 min after jen came she said oh were going to move over there so we can see the kids (otherwise known as so we dont have to move our huge asses..) and they did move. i didnt move b/c i felt like weve been there for 2 hrs and im not moving 6 people to sit over there now. the other girl nancy moved there but left her stuff next to us. i didnt say anything. i told kathys husband rob was i rude? and he said well she didnt say like you guys should move too.

but steve. heres the thing. i feel like in the past few days. its been too much with her. like..maybe im not going to be friends with her. b/c.. i feel like ive been treated pretty badly the last few days. and for what? she said to me when i was leaving.. i feel like we didnt get to hang. i said yeah i know. i said bye to the kids (cassie wouldnt play again and was crying and hanging on her father.. i was going to ask her.. you sure cassie hasnt been molested or something? kate came over 2x to say hi and wanted to hug cassie but cassie didnt want anything to do with it and i felt like kates feelings were hurt. i explained to kate that even if you want to hug someone if they dont want to .. you cant. kate didnt seem to understand our talk.. and kept saying i play with cassie? i hug cassie? and it broke my heart feeling like i could get kate to understand. i also feel like those first hurts and rejections change people. i guess its going to happen sooner or later.. but ... i dont like seeing kate hurt.)


another incident that happened was a kid came (like 7 maybe?) and i heard jens husband chris yell look at this. and out on the beach was this boy. completely naked. peeing. so im like oh nice. so kathy and her husband and i are all like wtf?

all of a sudden we hear screaming (not kate btw, shes with rob and apparently thinks nothing of this situation.. and its alot.. well all the kids on the bridge up to the slide.. but they wont go any further b/c this boy is now at the bottom. naked. and no one will go. hey who said kids arent smart?

so i see the lifeguards and theyre all very young. one of them get sthe kid and is like wheres your parents? the kid pulls away and runs - still naked steven - to the place where the snack bar and the boardwalk and restaurant is. so they follow to see if he went to a parent and he didnt b/c they walk him out (it was like aperp walk i swear) and theyre asking where the parents are. well his parents arent there. so im like so he drove himself? i mean what? so theres on the other side of the road a little league field and a huge park. with climbing bridges and all this crap to do. plus a skate park so they decide theyre going to drive this kid over to the other side to ask if this kid belongs to anyone. now steve, i dont know if ive had too much shit happen to me, but im like look call 911. you asked in the immediate area you dotn have a parent and youy have a naked child. he had shorts and underoos with him.. but im not dresisng this kid and im not taking him ina golf cart anywhere. b/c next itll be they touched me inappropriately. put the kid in atowel have you know 2 adults witness him getting dressed and - id dress him right there cuz i mean theres no decency left at this point anyway. and let the cops figure this shit out. the kid ended up having his parents there and the idiots (really assholes) have the nerve to coem over to our park and bring the kid in reg shorts to play after looking like jerks that their kid crossed a road plus a parking lot and im talking its like 1/4 of a mile...and they told the lifeguards they didnt even know he was gone. i saw the reason why.. the father was busy texting. and being mexican. its like theres no shame. and you know what? lets the cops sy hey we want cps. this kid was gone def 30 min steve. like no joke. if not more. we dont even know exaclty when he wandered off.


anyway we had a decent day with hiccups i guess. i tried not to think too much of the cpr guy.. i hope nothing comes of it


meanwhile i told colleen the adventures of dominic trying to kill kate the other day and she said like i always say.. this is why i have no friends. ..
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I read this, and then I read it again. Wow...lots of stuff here.

 

Maybe the easy stuff first: Kate is at an age where her thoughts are extremely her own. She doesn't yet grasp the thoughts of others if they differ from her own perspective. So, she is going to feel confused and even hurt if someone refuses her hug or her attention. There isn't much you can do about it, as it is a stage of development. She just will not see other's opinions, and if you tell her that sometimes people do not want hugs, even when she wants to give them a hug; well, it is good parenting, but she will still get stuck in the thought pattern of her age: If I want to hug, and it is nice, then others will want that as well b/c hugs are nice, period. I just tried to explain this stuff as best as I could to my own kids, but sadly the stage is the stage and sometimes it just has to pass. It doesn't feel very good to see your child hurt by this, but there is not a lot that can be done.

 

You did not do anything wrong about inviting the other mother to the spray park. And, there are no solid rules about who controls a message board. The statement of Jen's" "It is my event", is nothing short of controlling, if not totally immature and childish.

 

You saw a need and you acted. It was done in a good heart, with good intent. So what if the lady has kids that are difficult. You didn't know that; and besides, Dominic isn't exactly an angel from above. You acted in compassion and grace and got stung for it. I do understand your thoughts about possibly restricting this friendship. It is a very one sided affair and you do not have any chance to really express your own thoughts and feelings. It seems very one directional with her placing you in the role of "follower" and she, as leader. There is no opportunity to be yourself. No you are not out of line, or rude here. I would tell you if I thought so. At best, XXXXX XXXXX frustrating.

 

Cassie certainly seems, at the least, overwhelmed. She doesn't seem to be able to handle social things and relax. With a little bit more on her I am seeing that although she could have been traumatized in some way, she seems more of a child anxiety case than anything else. This points to chaos and a lack of structure in the home, and from what you have told me, that is pretty much par for the course with her family. I feel sorry for her. If this keeps up she will start to isolate and develop very strong fears.

 

I see you got to rescue Kate who went to the top of the slide and then said, "no way". I think that is some sort of parental merit badge award or something. Been there, many times.

 

The naked kid on the beach is just terribly sad. His parents should lose the kid for acting like this. Tel me you would ever allow Kate away from you for even a few seconds let alone 30 minutes?! Imagine if people way up the beach came to you and said, Kate age 7; we found her naked, peeing on the beach. Ok...what is wrong with this parental picture? That poor lost boy would do better in foster care in my opinion. If this is what you see in public, can you imagine what has occurred behind the scenes? CPS would have been a great idea. What a mess.

 

Sometimes friendships just outgrow themselves. Sometimes they end due to great differences in perspective. And here, there is evidence of both occurring. Jen has a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of soul searching. If she does not, she will lose her contact and relationships, not only with you, but with others. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve will start a new question.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
omg steven. jen went to the cpr class. so shes like oh im all certified etc., and cassie was good (ok who cares..?) and then jen writes another text and says oh btw the reason you didnt get a response from cpr guy was that its his wifes phone you texted. i didnt answer jen.. cuz i dont know what to say ... so how bad do you think that is? pretty bad? i mean i said i loved her.. that sa good thing.. ugh.
ok update to that.. i said well did his wife laugh? so she says no she didnt mention it. so i said well how do you know she got the text then? so she say the number you gave me is her cell number. so i texted her well thats the number zeb gave
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi for steven olsen please

so tonight is my first night back to work... and well im just afraid what will happen to me. i say this with seriousness. orb took kat ethis am, b/c we wont be able to hand her off.. like we normally do on sun and rob si home.
i feel bad im not seeing her 4 day sthis week now. i wont see her again til thursday night. i felt like kate and i kind of bonded.. then we lose those bonds when im away for so long. i know youre going to say no we dont, but we do.. kate doesnt just leap back to me. its like i have to get her to readjust and she like ok this ladys back.

i guess im having anxiety i have a headache and my stomach is bothering me and.. im just like ok great. i have pscycho somatic ailments now. like a nutjob does. but steven i just dont even know if i want to be a nurse anymore. i used to love it. love it. thrived on it. the chaos. and now im like god i hope we dont get sued. oh i hope no one notices that f**k up... the pts are so needy they dont get their own cabs. i mean next ill have to drive them home and tuck them in to their beds. and now i show. there will be no doubt about it. i ordered my maternity uniform last week, it still hasnt come but i hope in time for next weeks tour... im afraid of how toght my uniform will be now. it was a few weeks ago.. but when i went out i didnt want to spend the $110 for one maternity uniform if you can imagine. i was going to get 3. but i got the one so far and decide di will wash it every am i come home b/c.. its only a few months. the reason its so much is b/c the color we wear doesnt come in maternity colors. they only make navy white and black. we need carribean blue. colleen and i were talking about it and she was like i found this website that makes custom color maternity and i had found it to.. but i was trying to find an alternative but couldnt. so i ordered the uniform once i got cleared to go back.
i am worried i will look unprofessional this week with my uniform too tight. but. i guess i will suffer thru.

thw whole thing with jen is odd as we havent banged heads that much and weve know each other for a year... and now all of a sudden.. all these problems. other moms seem to love her. its weird b/c i would say i have a stronger personality than jen. and i dont know why all these moms love her. i like her.. and i appreciate that she organizes these events so we cna bring the kids together and help each other. but.. that whole text message really turned me off. i still want to bring kate to mommy and me.. i dont know if should just find a mommy and me here closer.. but i do like that ive gotten to know some of the moms.. and i know the kids .. whos wild, who isnt, whos ok.
i was thinking i am signed up for the next 2 mommy and mes.. maybe ill do them and take a little time to see how i feel.
i also felt like telling jen if you have an event at a public lace. and theres no discount or anything why cant you bring other people. like if just talked to kathy that day and she said oh bella would love that and i invited her.. i mean there was no fee to get inot the spray park it was a parking fee which is why i paid and we all got in for like $4 each. i said if were heere for 2 hrs we paid $4 i dont think we can complain. we did end up staying from 1230 til 730..having dinner on the water. it was just beach food and ice cream with live music but it was fun.. and no sand.. even better. i said to kathy if you want we can coem here again and she said sure..
im thinkign jen will be less around as she hurtles towards her due dat eat the end of august. so that will give us a little time.
kates so cute steven. i know all mom say that but its really true. lol
she got stopped by other people at the spray park who said they loved her bathing suit. she had a little skirt on it and i had kate twirl and she did and kate said hi and gave them a big smile.. and everyones like shes so cute..
the poor thing was like adrowned rat at the spray park theres so much water and i saiod to kathys husband its like the weather channel ina hurricane. i mean i was standing waiting for this kate for the slide and like gallons of water were hitting me. plus its windy off the beach/ water and the water was just in wall of water hitting us.

i was quite shocked kate was afraid to go down the slide. shes never really said no to anything. and then she didnt want to do any slides. even little baby ones that were way smaller than the one we even have in the backyard. i didnt push her, but offered a few times and shes like no. baby scared. kathy and rob found that to be a hoot - kate referred to herself as baby. and bella kept calling her baby kate.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve, sorry theres so many postings to this. they locked my question and i had to call ja to put it on the response at least.. they wont allow me to post a new question..
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

They won't allow you to post a new question???

 

It is not easy to go back to work after being off so long, and there is a shrinkage of that bond when you are away for a longer period of time. I mean Kate is still Kate, but she goes into herself I would imagine as a protective thing. It isn't harmful, just takes time to knock back into place when you get off the current week's work schedule.

 

There are worse things than I tight fitting nurses outfit I would guess. And, you had to custom order the new one? Wow, take that off your tax return. I do get what you mean about feeling odd returning to work. You do not have that "groove" of what nursing used to be, and truthfully it is not the same. It is a litigious mess of things that has reduced nursing to paperwork and cya. I am not sure it is as much you as it is the nature of what the job has become. And, please know that somatic complaints are not the sign of someone who is losing it. Bodily responses are unbelievably common and you having them just shows you are human, not nuts.

 

Jen is a controller, for sure. And, she is one who gets a group behind her and makes the rules. You butt heads now because you do not see things as she does. You have always been your own thinker. She needs people who need her to think for them. You do not. So, you clash.

 

And, I see nothing wrong with what you said about inviting the other lady. There was no harm done. It was simply that you fell onto Jen's control area, and she hit back hard. I see this relationship as either getting much more rocky and having it end, or Jen finding that she is going to lose you and backing off. Hard to say what will happen at this point.

 

Fears develop at 2-3 that were not there before. It is normal and good. She is developing autonomy, and fears and limits pave the way for healthy choices later in her life. I see it as a great thing that she showed some self caution and preservation. It also shows a healthy development of self identity. I bet she is cute. That baby's scared thing is unique and very cute. Hope you find a way to post. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve. i posted out on the boards for you. i hope you get it. im very worried about this new situation i have. i hate this anymore. i cant live in constant fear. its like somethings wrong with me. i try to get along with other people but i dont. and i dotn know why. im not as stubborn as i used to be. but.. i mean does that mean i always have to give in? or i cant stick up for myself?

i just hate this. i dont see kate, i miss her like crazy. she aprently couldnt poop yest was crying saying her tummy hurt (even though ive been feeding ehr prunes..) shes crying for 3 hrs.. then she finally pooped but it was in the car and rob didnt take her bag from my moms house so he couldnt change her.. she cried and worked herself inot a thing and threw up. she finally went to bed and woke up this am crying ehr tummy hurts even though she pooped a huge loose poop and threw up all over the minivan. and herself. kate contnued crying all am i was in touch with my parents and now shes having diarrhea. and they had to both tag team to give her a bath b/c they were so scared giivng it to her. and steven she needs her mommy. i want to comfort her not worry are thyey f**king up?

and then i go to this job and i feel like its my old hos again - issue after issue. and bottom line. no one likes me.

i try so hard here too. and its like.. its just not going to work out. its just not. i think im going to apply while im out on leave and hopefully get a job soon after returning in jan.

im wasting my life with people who dont like me. pts and nurses and drs.

i called my dad crying and said like i just cant win. i mean i think ok they dotn have anything on me - the pt is safe. whether they like it or not. so theres no legal issue here. or even a write up i dont think. its just like.. im seen as a aproblem. i want to be under the radar.

my dad said im aprofessional and these people are assholes and i need to be the bigger man and just suck it up and act like nothing happened tonight. although i really want to stay away from them. im so tempted to call my ob and put me back out again but im afraid it will look too obvious from the last thi ng happening.

sorry but i ran out of room in my new question. i hope you can see it and get back to me. im lost. i need to try to sleep now as its almost one and i have to get up at 430.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
I will grab the question on the boards and address what you have written here as well. Steven

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