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Baby on Board? Well, at least you seem to have bonded with the baby, that is for sure.
So, Rob wants to keep me on retainer? We might be able to work something out (lol). But I doubt the JA folks would approve.
Rob either has a martyr complex or simply, like many men, prefers to handle problems on his own. Walk a mile and half, where it normally would be a highway drive? Sure. Lots of men would do that. I am serious. I would. Silently suffering? I am not too sure if that is the case, but he does have a strong streak of male stubbornness. And, I am sure you recall talking about that particular trait in him...right?
I am not sure what to make of your concern about the black suv. I would be a 100% bet that it had nothing to do with work, but could this be TMM? I am not very sure if that would be the case, but it is my only thought aside from a random thing. Still, it is odd.
Rob has that personality that attracts kids and dogs. It is innate to some people and usually those with a good heart I have found. He seems like an old soul in a way, and one that is a little melancholy. At least that is my read. But the rest of the family is psyched about the baby, now that you have the boy parts identified properly on the view screen. And, baseball does not a man make. I hate baseball myself. Boring game in my opinion. Now football...another story. At least Rob seems comfortable in his own right and seems to be okay being himself, which is not something that a lot of men feel okay about. He will make a fine father of a boy. But he should have asked you about the baby a lot earlier. True he had a lot on his mind, but still.
We all have our burdens, and although it was hard growing up, and there were issues, I did find a way to use those abilities, created by being alone so much, for good use. (Just as you developed a quick sense of wit; great memory and good instincts.) Our rough spots in life polish the person that we will become. And, even though your mother cost you so much in terms of esteem and self value, she is an excellent guide to how not to be in many situations. Simply, do the opposite.
I really had to read the stuff about the gay guy and your breasts a couple of times. Really? He touched you? You were alright with this? (And, I have to admit, if he was straight, what a good excuse for a behavior...let me touch you, I am gay.) But still, gay or not this was a huge invasion of your personal space. 100% that someone violated his personal space when he was little. That kind of stuff does not surface without a past driving it.
Compensated by your attorney? Why, you could try. But I am not sure you can get blood from a stone. Steven
Would I ask for a ride? Depends. Depends on how stubborn I am that day or if I am feeling sorry for myself and want to look miserable by walking or just am so used to handing things that I would not want to bother my wife. I am not sure. But lots of men do this. It may not make a lot of sense, but it is pretty typical. And, there is no offense involved. It is just how some men are. I am certain he knows you would do this for him, but sometimes just want to do things ourselves. Plus, look how great he is about doing when he picked you up. He was a real show piece,acting all civilized and patient. I think he is just so used to this independent role that he makes himself suffer as a norm.
I have been and seen exactly where you are with the water and the blu ray and the whole stressed to the max over messes thing. When you have more than one child this will turn into family meetings where you lay down the law about cleaning only to have it violated time and time again. But, I do get it. No one seems to know how to operate a hand, one that is used to take a glass back into the kitchen. And toddlers and cleaning...aside from that horrible Barney clean up video I have never seen any child that age clean consistently. (Although I think they should. Really, if a calf can stand in 20 minutes and run with the herd in an hour why can't our kids clean up instinctually?)
At least you got a pizza out of the whole escapade, even though you were not that hungry. I will say that you sound familiar with the holly crap how big is this baby going to be thing. Come to PA. I think we have the highest c section in the country. I thin if you ask, they will make up something to make that happen. But, not to be odd, but I have a feeling this will be a c section for you. I don't know why. It is just a feeling.
Constantine: Overbearing strong father with weaker driven son who also has mom issues....hence the effeminate male. Yup, that makes some sense I will say. But his behavior, even for a histrionic gay male is pretty out there. Squeezing your boobs...that is going a bit too far, even if he does want a set.
Dr b is on vacation again? Didn't he just go? At least he knows his place and role with you. I doubt you will let him forget it. lol
XXXXX XXXXXkes to make big deals out of nothing, so I am not surprised that you would feel so hesitant about calling him. The schedule sounds terrible too. Can you change it the following week to your normal next time? Is this due to spray park thing? I know you are tired. Who would not be with all the stress and the pregnancy on top of it. Simple to say, but take each day a little piece at a time, a morning, an afternoon, a night. This will pass. Maybe you should plan another vacation after the baby comes as something to look forward to? That often helps as a good goal when you feel down. Steven
Rob and self punishment. Well, it would seem to me that there are aspects of his personality that fit this behavior somewhat. We did mention some sex preferences that seem in-line with these types of actions as well. So, perhaps it is more than simply stubbornness. It may meet a need in him to be punished.
Don't feel badly about sending Kate for this or that. Half of my kids' lives are spent fetching this or that or taking things to mom or dad. It is what we parents do you know!
You sound a lot like my wife with the pitocin drip and death threats. I know that this is not easy to deal with as there is no break on the contractions and frankly, I think it was the most pain my wife had been in, ever. My wife is pretty tough and she was crying and moaning in pain unceasingly. I don't envy you and it sounds like your doctor is pretty convinced that it is going to be a vaginal birth if he can help it. (recovery is faster...I know...if you were here you would slap me. It was the only reframing that was positive that I could come up with.)
Common or not; it is the family name that lives on...and it is nice, and I feel even better, that with this child you will have that wonderful balance of male and female. And, Kate will keep him in line. I can't wait to see her at 12 and this one at 9.5yrs. He is in big trouble I think.
1,500 for a stroller? Well, if you want it I guess that is okay. Seems a bit steep to me. For that price it should come with electric drive and a chauffeur.
Spray parks are fun and yes, I guess there isn't much you can do with the schedule change at this point. But it still sucks. Steven
Doesn't it suck when you have a real need to be in a chair and a bunch of inconsiderate people take it? I used to hate that when my wife was pregnant and some guy (usually older) would hurry to take the last seat somewhere; even though my wife, obviously pregnant, could have used it far worse.
Some kids like Cassie do not do well socially at age 2. They become reactive in their attachments and act as she did. Sometimes that is a sign of a home life that is chaotic and one that gives poor emotional support, sometimes it is just a stage of development. Hard to say here in this case.
Jen says she is coming and then does not? That is not good, and I can understand why you feel angry at her. It was nice she met up with you at McDonald's, but too much too late in some respects. Spilling her drink all the time is a sign of anxiety, usually with people who feel insecure around others. When we are anxious it reduces our coordination responses, hence the spills.
Your friend sounds like she has some issues that go beyond that of most people. I doubt you are just being picky. She seems like she is angry to me, but shows it in less than overt ways, like avoiding vaccinations.
The reaction you gave over the gate issue is typical for parents who care about their kids. We call them the "like us paranoid types", my wife and I. We watch our kids like hawks and create safety limits everywhere. Then there are those like your friend, the " my kids survive in spite of me" parents. They act concerned, sort of, when things happen, but take very little initiative when it comes to child safety, and mainly make a pseudo show about being concerned when their, or your child, comes close to death.
This is especially true of issues where their own kids nearly kill your own. Btw this behavior has ended our relationships with some parents as we will not let them near our kids because of this lax attitude. I understand this so well. I do not hesitate to keep my kids away from folks like this and a friends with them, minus the kid things if I can help it.
Do I think you overreacted? No way. I want to kill her and her kid. What is with that behavior, ignoring potential danger and allowing her kid to contribute to the situation? No, no overreaction here. I am certain that I too would have been more than annoyed and pretty angry instead. This was unacceptable and I would certainly question how I felt about my relationship, at least in this way, with her and her son.
I guess even Kate has her energy limits. She sounded like she was really ready to go. And, five hours in a McDonald's. I do not know how you did that. I can't do more than two, and five...well, that seems like a lot. No wonder she was ready to leave.
The situation with Kathy is something that would really tick off most people, especially since you rearranged your schedule for this spray park trip. And, what is it about a chance of rain?
I mean it has been so crazy this summer with heat, and all that the odds the weather people are right about a big rain is not all that good. Besides, isn't the spray park about getting wet in the first place? The odds that it would pour and deluge isn't that high. This kind of thing, I would think, would really frost you. Friends that have this unreliable trait are difficult, for certain.
Cassie, if I read her right may indeed be picking up on the anxiety and up-tightness of her extended family. I have a feeling, professionally, that it is probably more than that, but I am not sure exactly what. I just do not know enough.
Dominic...I had my share of kids like this with my own. One just like him pinned by oldest when she was three into a tunnel at a McDonald's and would not let her get out. He took a wall pad off and held it as a wall. She was trapped between the wall and the pad in a really small space and could not get out. She developed a fear of enclosed spaces as a result and I still battle this with her on occasion. So when you talk about this kid, I really see the impact. And, I know what you mean about wanting to do something about him. When it is your kid getting placed in harm's way, the whole parental instinct comes out and all bets are off.
75 dollars to save a job? And, suspension is maybe what might happen. If it is is an action involving a patient, and the patient dies...she will not be looking at a suspension, but a termination and a loss of license. I am sorry to say this so bluntly, but your friend sounds like a nit-wit. You did a nice thing for her and she argues it. Solomon was right. Stay away from fools in their folly. You tries to help and she dumped it back on you. That is really sad. Her insight is somewhat less than stellar.
You do not need to worry about the cpr guy. I recall the past conversation pretty well and he was messing with you as well. I cannot imagine he is upset about this. In some cases a guy will go through a period where he feels he was too flirtatious and then reel himself back in, hard. In that case he will say nothing back. I doubt you have anything to worry about here. I would drop it. Stuff like that is not worth the effort as you did nothing wrong. Steven
I read this, and then I read it again. Wow...lots of stuff here.
Maybe the easy stuff first: Kate is at an age where her thoughts are extremely her own. She doesn't yet grasp the thoughts of others if they differ from her own perspective. So, she is going to feel confused and even hurt if someone refuses her hug or her attention. There isn't much you can do about it, as it is a stage of development. She just will not see other's opinions, and if you tell her that sometimes people do not want hugs, even when she wants to give them a hug; well, it is good parenting, but she will still get stuck in the thought pattern of her age: If I want to hug, and it is nice, then others will want that as well b/c hugs are nice, period. I just tried to explain this stuff as best as I could to my own kids, but sadly the stage is the stage and sometimes it just has to pass. It doesn't feel very good to see your child hurt by this, but there is not a lot that can be done.
You did not do anything wrong about inviting the other mother to the spray park. And, there are no solid rules about who controls a message board. The statement of Jen's" "It is my event", is nothing short of controlling, if not totally immature and childish.
You saw a need and you acted. It was done in a good heart, with good intent. So what if the lady has kids that are difficult. You didn't know that; and besides, Dominic isn't exactly an angel from above. You acted in compassion and grace and got stung for it. I do understand your thoughts about possibly restricting this friendship. It is a very one sided affair and you do not have any chance to really express your own thoughts and feelings. It seems very one directional with her placing you in the role of "follower" and she, as leader. There is no opportunity to be yourself. No you are not out of line, or rude here. I would tell you if I thought so. At best, XXXXX XXXXX frustrating.
Cassie certainly seems, at the least, overwhelmed. She doesn't seem to be able to handle social things and relax. With a little bit more on her I am seeing that although she could have been traumatized in some way, she seems more of a child anxiety case than anything else. This points to chaos and a lack of structure in the home, and from what you have told me, that is pretty much par for the course with her family. I feel sorry for her. If this keeps up she will start to isolate and develop very strong fears.
I see you got to rescue Kate who went to the top of the slide and then said, "no way". I think that is some sort of parental merit badge award or something. Been there, many times.
The naked kid on the beach is just terribly sad. His parents should lose the kid for acting like this. Tel me you would ever allow Kate away from you for even a few seconds let alone 30 minutes?! Imagine if people way up the beach came to you and said, Kate age 7; we found her naked, peeing on the beach. Ok...what is wrong with this parental picture? That poor lost boy would do better in foster care in my opinion. If this is what you see in public, can you imagine what has occurred behind the scenes? CPS would have been a great idea. What a mess.
Sometimes friendships just outgrow themselves. Sometimes they end due to great differences in perspective. And here, there is evidence of both occurring. Jen has a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of soul searching. If she does not, she will lose her contact and relationships, not only with you, but with others. Steven
They won't allow you to post a new question???
It is not easy to go back to work after being off so long, and there is a shrinkage of that bond when you are away for a longer period of time. I mean Kate is still Kate, but she goes into herself I would imagine as a protective thing. It isn't harmful, just takes time to knock back into place when you get off the current week's work schedule.
There are worse things than I tight fitting nurses outfit I would guess. And, you had to custom order the new one? Wow, take that off your tax return. I do get what you mean about feeling odd returning to work. You do not have that "groove" of what nursing used to be, and truthfully it is not the same. It is a litigious mess of things that has reduced nursing to paperwork and cya. I am not sure it is as much you as it is the nature of what the job has become. And, please know that somatic complaints are not the sign of someone who is losing it. Bodily responses are unbelievably common and you having them just shows you are human, not nuts.
Jen is a controller, for sure. And, she is one who gets a group behind her and makes the rules. You butt heads now because you do not see things as she does. You have always been your own thinker. She needs people who need her to think for them. You do not. So, you clash.
And, I see nothing wrong with what you said about inviting the other lady. There was no harm done. It was simply that you fell onto Jen's control area, and she hit back hard. I see this relationship as either getting much more rocky and having it end, or Jen finding that she is going to lose you and backing off. Hard to say what will happen at this point.
Fears develop at 2-3 that were not there before. It is normal and good. She is developing autonomy, and fears and limits pave the way for healthy choices later in her life. I see it as a great thing that she showed some self caution and preservation. It also shows a healthy development of self identity. I bet she is cute. That baby's scared thing is unique and very cute. Hope you find a way to post. Steven