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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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Im damned either way. My "companion" of 20 years suddenly started showing

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I'm damned either way. My "companion" of 20 years suddenly started showing signs of paranoia two years ago. His thoughts range from thinking that the girl across the alley was taunting him by peeping in the windows, jumping fences, doing the impossible.

He has commenced to thinking that every friend and family member (including me) are conspiring against him, following him wherever he goes (across the state when we travel), and he claims that I am a conspirator. Noon matter what I say or don't say, I am suspicious... Either too quiet or too defensive! Being "unmarried" and him having little family, what can I do to help him? He never tells what the conspiracy...gets angry if I "act" as if I dont know. How do I get him help, or is there help?
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
I'm sorry to hear about your partner's situation.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
How's he functioning daytime?
Does he have a job?
How are his sleep and appetite?
Has he ever exhibited signs of anxiety and depression as well as attention problems?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Sorry it took a minute...

He has become non-functional during the day....sometimes, doesn't even dress or bathe (extremely contrary for him....he is prideful in appearance and a hard worker)

He does not have a job. He has taken care of family for years and no longer has anyone to take care of. We are situated where he doesn't "have" to work (but worked most of his life until recently)

Sleep: Completely changed: Was: 12:00 to 8:30

Now: 4:30 or 5:00 AM til 1-2:00 PM

Yes: Depression and ADD: Takes Vyvanse, but has discontinued his anti-depression (Zoloft) and Abilify because of "weight gain" issues. Seems better when on Zoloft and Abilify.

Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
I can imagine how sad and anxious you must have felt about his situation. It sounds like he may have mood swings, anxiety, depression, and paranoid delusion.
Perhaps, his depression may have aggravated lately as his sleep pattern has changed drastically.

He will benefit from seeing a psychologist for assessment and psychological counseling as medication only doesn't seem to be helping him. He might have Bipolar disorder as people with Bipolar disorder usually have ADD/ADHD, anxiety, depression and psychotic features such as paranoid delusion sometimes.

You may ask his doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that he can work with weekly. Or you may call his insurance company and get a list of providers (licensed psychologists or psychotherapists) in your area.
Or, you can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to ( and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Anxiety or Depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she has the specialty. He may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that he wants to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So he can see it as an informational meeting.

If he has no health insurance or seek a low fee counseling, he may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX (Dial 2-1-1)to find the community mental health centers in your area in which he can get counseling even without health insurance.

I hope your partner gets help from his doctor, a psychologist and/or a counselor.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you so much for the response: one question remaining:

What is the most effective way to respond to his paranoid statements (I'm conspiring against him, so he thinks): if I'm quiet, I'm suspect for keeping "hushed". If I respond, he gets very agitated. What is the most effective way to respond to paranoid accusations?
Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
I would advise you NOT to confront him and deny his paranoid delusion.
Instead, try to listen to his concerns and feelings as much as possible in an empathetic manner.
When he is in a state of paranoia, he is irrational and may not listen to your point of view. So, do not try to reason with him or confront him on his beliefs.
It would be better for you to listen to his thoughts and show empathy towards him. You can tell him "I listen to your thoughts. I understand you are very anxious." If you continue to offer support to him, he may become less paranoid.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,
Dr. Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Hi there
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,