Kate: I have gotten nowhere with the stuff for A. P's brother S is out of town until tomorrow and doesn't know about the thing with J. We still need to tell P's older brother, D, who is J's grandfather. J's uncle is back in TX, but Is chomping at the bit to confront C.
J td p and I last night exactly what happened with C, and it made my stomach turn and the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Poor J thinks she is being overly sensitive because of what happened with her dad, but he is not. And the fact that he told her several times he should shut the door so he didn't get in trouble says he knows it was wrong.
But I feel strongly we new to do this all at once. I am going to keep trying to reach someone up where he lives to help me. I think we need to contact the correct authority (whether it be in the county or military) and find out ahead of time what they need (e.g., does J need to go up there, can they take a phone statement, can we bring a written sworn statement, does everyone who saw stuff with A have to be there to make a statement or can I get everyone to make a written sworn statement?) and tell them everything an make plans for one or more o the men to go up, and also some of us, let them know he has a 2 year old there, is very volatile, and has lots of weapons. Basically see if they can schedule when to do this so someone can take A and so we have people there who witnessed things. I dot know if it will work. I am getting everyone together (P, S, T [S's wife], L (P's niece, J's mom], me, T [L's sister, P's niece] and JH [T's husband in TX] and D on Skype) Thursday evening to decide what to do and how. S and D are going to want to kill him.
A bunch of u went out to lunch today, and I didn't know C's mom and sister were going. I am done with them. All of the sudden, they are acting like he is father of the year because he was nice to them yesterday and said he signed A up for a class. I told them that was the same class he kep saying she was signed up for but couldn't start until 3 wks before her 2nd bday. He is lying again. They are making excuses for him - family things stress
him out and he doesn't know how to cope, it is hard because he is a male and alone with A etc. I said if going to a family function makes him abuse his kid, he shouldn't go, and that he is the one who insisted on being. Stay-at-home dad, even before his wife was deployed, because he is too lazy to get a job and thought this woul be easier, which I'm sure it is when he ignores his kid. They both said he was much better yesterday, everything is fine. I told them yes - he told me it was because he blew off steam by shooting 1000 rounds a the range, and reminded them he was the same way when his mom brought A back from abq, but that only lasted a few hours. They are denying anything is wrong now, I think because his mom knows if she admits something is wrong, she knows she should step up and take care of A, but she isn't willing to do anything. I was so angry. I told them "this isn't a little parenting-style issue. This is abuse. This is illegal. This is a major deal. I'm done with them. I have no use for them.
But who will take care of A? They won't let me, I would think. I am not related. Plus - they won't let her be taken out of state during this mess, would they?
I also need to message C's wife at some point, but I worry because she apparently thinks he is a fine father and neglects
A too (although she doesn't have an anger issue). But I have heard, too, that T and L witnessed him being pretty angry with his wife when they were down here before she was deployed. I don't know. But I am concerned if I tell her now that she will make excuses for him, too, and will give h a heads-up. So I guess I will wait until I report it.
I mentioned to Linda that when P and I went to CO to see A when she was first born, we couldn't stand being in their aparent because it was so disgusting, and p and I had to hold our tongues when they laid he (less than a week old) on the floor covered with dirt and food and dog hair. Linda said that they will look at that, too. Is that true? I know it's no better now. I se the background of pix he posts on fb. And I know it can't be safe (judging by her various recent injuries) and he has guns laying around th house. Do you think that will matter?
Oh - I forgot to mention - P kept saying that the fact that A had stitches in her hand showed neglect. I was confused, because we know how that happened, and even though it's likely that it happened because he wasn't watching her, we all know these things can happen even with an attentive parent. But I had gone onto his fb page to print out stuff (like comments that he hates his child, wishes he were dead [because she is being a pain], etc. ) and I saw the post again about him leaving her alone for an hour and coming back to broken glass and blood around her, and how she got a few stitches. And I looked at the date -- this was more than a month ago. That wa what P was saying. He never took her to get her stitches out. P Sao he told her the clini was close every time he took her. ?
I had another bad dream last night, and I went through several days of Linda's notes on my "telling" and I had a lot of thoughts and feelings and wrote a ton. I will do some more tonight. I think this was probably a good idea Linda had. It I allowing me to break things down. Hopefully we can break it down enough that it is manageable and then I can deal with each little part and put it away?
Keep praying for A, will you? I am so disappointed in his mom and sister. I guarantee that when he hurts her, they'll be saying "I tried to help her, I would have taken her, blah blah ...". I hope I'm wrong about him. :(