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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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Why cant I get any motivation, ambition, and determination

Resolved Question:

Why can't I get any motivation, ambition, and determination like I had when I was 16? Im 22 going on 23 years old and feel like whatever aspirations I did have are not worth pursuing. Like I've lost fight...
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
Do you have difficulty finding the job you want to pursue?
Have you had any negative experience leading to your current situation or feeling lately?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Its not so much the job search for my career field but I did have a heck of a time just finding a regular part-time less than a year ago. Of course I am employed now in a somewhat comfortable position.

However as far as career goes, I dont feel like a job in it will sustain any happiness I have for it. I enjoy the craft of a little but I feel as though I will completely burn out within a year's time. A general carelessness...

I had some regret from leaving a previous school for personal emotional reasons (didnt like how they handled things) but I've long since gotten over that. Im sorry if giving you my life's story lol
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for your response.
It sounds like you are feeling unmotivated to do any work lately.
It's common for people of your age to go through emotional distress after finishing a high school when you enter young adulthood.
You are not alone.
But, you may need to find a way to empower yourself to have a more fulfilled life ...
You seem to have some regret from leaving a previous school.
Well, that may be affecting your current feelings - lack of motivation, drive, passion etc..
It may be good for you to restart doing what you used to enjoy or feel passionate about.
Are you open to counseling or life coaching to increase motivation and/or boost self confidence ?

You may benefit from seeing a counselor/psychotherapist OR life coach WEEKLY for 3-6 months or longer. Life coaching may be useful for you to increase your motivation/purpose, plan for the future, and take constructive action.

For psychological counseling,
she may benefit from having a Cognitive-Behavior therapy (CBT). There are several ways to find a psychologist or psychotherapist who takes your insurance.

You can search a licensed psychotherapist or a counselor who provides life coaching on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to ( and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as life coaching. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy or life coaching. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You and he can ask any question. You can also negotiate psychotherapy fee and number of sessions.

Also, you may try some or all of the following to increase motivation - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations.

Please let me know if I have overlooked any or you have more questions. Warm regards,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Life coach huh...i'll look into that. Let me just bring up one more thing, there was a small spark of "motivation" at my workplace when I got acquainted with this girl that works adjacent from me. She's very cool and we even have some chemistry, it seems I look forward to chatting it up with her more than anything else in my day.

However, I am very much not single (committed relationship of seven years, high school sweethearts) and am not as in love as I used to be with my girlfriend. We haven't had any problems though but she's been pushing the marriage hints a lot lately lol but we're are not stable enough for that and I've told her this.

Sorry I am rambling again, after this I will leave you alone :)
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there
Thank you for your reply.
Okay. You are interested in this girl (your coworker?).
You also have a girlfriend of seven years.
So, are you wanting to explore a new relationship?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I've always wanted to explore different relationships but the last time I tried this, I actually broke up with my girlfriend (for a stupid reason but I kinda wanted a little space) and really hurt her. I asked myself several times over was I settling for her before this event and came to no conclusion. Being a young jerk though, I broke up anyway, I still feel so horrible about it I blocked it out. After a big depression we both suffered we eventually got back together (on her terms of course) and had no spectacular problems since.

I suppose i'm at another moment in my life again where nothing's going on right now.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
I'll be back with my answer soon.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for waiting.
It sounds like you may be feeling stuck in your current situation.
I can imagine it's difficult for you to settle down on your age like many people. It sounds like you love your girlfriend. You two have no problems. But, you are not sure about marriage yet. You also want to explore relationships with other girls.
Yes, it's a difficult decision to make. You don't want to hurt your girlfriend by cheating on her.
Perhaps, you may need to take some time for yourself and think of your long-term goals, not short-term goals. Also, you have to be honest about your feelings. You may have to make small or big decisions about your life over time. Ultimately, it's really up to you whether you explore a new relationship. You may need to think of your long-term focus (for example, do you want to have a family in a few years? Then, is your girlfriend a good wife to you? etc...)
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience: PsyD Psychologist
Dr. Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ok. Thank you for your help, I really thank you for your patience with me Dr Olsen.

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