I can't see you anymore :(
Hi Kate, thanks for your post. I hope we catch each other today :)Last afternoon I went to meet Ziggy, she is lovely, as all you caring helpful people are (she’s a therapist too). We met at the offices, had a room to talk in. There was a lovely painting with 2 butterflies above her head which I kept glancing at as we talked. I think I did good, not VERY many words, but not too stuck either, better than I expected, she said I did well . K had written briefly to her, and I had emailed a couple of times, so she had a bit of background which I was glad of. We had an hour and 20, and generally talked about the situation, the kids, my options. She told me about refuges and safe houses, and what can happen with pets if I need to move somewhere that won't take pets, and she told me about panic alarms that can be installed in my house somewhere (she said on the phone?), so that is good to know. She also told me not to hesitate calling the out of hours helpline, even if I just want to hear someone's voice. And she was going to find out if there was someone who could fit a proper lock to my bedroom door. Even Sam said last night that everyone, especially in their own home, needs somewhere they can get away to for peace and privacy. She said I can email her if I need, and we will meet next week, maybe weekly, see how we get on. She gave me a lovely hug before I left. I feel very happy to have her. He had a call from his GP last evening, he wasn’t home (6.30). He (GP) asked for him to call him back next week. I expect he has heard from the hospital, diabetes consultant, about him stopping his insulin etc. Did I tell you that? I didn't know until he came home from his appointment and I asked how it went. He told me he'd just stopped taking his insulin a month or so before. He needs to have some blood and urine tests. I hope Dr H has also spoken with him (D's GP) about what I wrote to her this week. I told D when he came in and he was not happy, he HATES this Dr, though has never met him in his surgery, only knows about him through the GP’s neighbours(not good to know people, makes things tricky, he had kids at the same primary school as Poppy went to.) So we’ll see what happens there,could be interesting, more fireworks, but they’ll get the feel of him anyway. K mentioned his intense dislike of 'people with power' as being a symptom of a sociopath. I looked it up last night and there are many points that fit him. How does someone get diagnosed with a personality disorder, surely it's almost impossible with someone like D who will be totally different to someone to cover up. The children and I are the only ones who can tick or cross the boxes!He left me alone last night after going off about his 'new 'GP. I didn't need to talk to him again. I took Poppy to her bf's, then went to bed, D playing reggae at full volume, drum bass beating through the floor, but I didn't complain. It stopped after a while. Today and this evening he is out at another festival, followed by a gig somewhere. Dad wants me to stay with them if I know he will come back drunk, I don't really want to, but I know i must keep safe. Ziggy said for me to pack a bag. I will, tomorrow.I've just remembered I haven't told you D's 'profit' for the last financial year. He cleared a profit of £1590 (taking account of phone, some bills, etc) but not including the bills mentioned, £3577. I have been able to claim Working Tax Credit this coming year as a single person (spoke to them today), I think I will ask them if I will be better off claiming as a single person for last year too, as he has not contributed at all. Can but try.I'm glad to hear your kids are occupied with cousins, it does make it fun doesn't it. I hope you have a big car to carry them all around in! And I hope you will have plenty of time off too. We STILL have rain every day, it's such a bore. Poppy still has another week of school, then I was hoping for a few days away, but still nothing planned. Sam is just hanging out, working a little, driving, has his test on Wednesday, then I'll have to get him a car organised (D has made no attempt). He is still using cannabis, I've had to let it lie for the moment. We saw his psychiatrist about his ADHD meds yesterday am, she asked if we thought they were helping. I said he definitely has been able to concentrate better studying for his exams. In the car on the way home he said that he feels it's the cannabis that is helping him to focus. Is that a possibility?A quick rest before taking Sam to work. I may have to go off to pick up Poppy, but I am hoping to meet K on Second Life on the desktop now I have internet sorted out, AND D isn't home- yippee! I think my Pearl sub has died a death :(Til later (new thread if you want to transfer over)H Rose
Ok I have this over and I'm working on a response. So how are things today?
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Doctors are not really qualified to make a mental health diagnosis. They have only a few classes, if any, in psychology and that is not enough to know how to do a full evaluation of a person. That is why it is always a better idea to have the person see a psychiatrist or a therapist, so someone like Dave could not easily hide what he is like, though he won't go. It is much harder to put on a front with a therapist during a full evaluation than with a doctor who is addressing physical concerns at the same time, all within a 15 minute time frame.
I agree, it is good that Dave handled his finances the way he did. It does make it a lot clearer for you. And it shows that you could definitely make it on your own.
Can I please come to be where you are? I just checked our thermometer and it's 100.6 degrees here, full sun, no rain. The front is coming in tonight (I really hope!) and should cool things off to a balmy 85. Winter can't come fast enough!
Talk to you soon,Kate
Cape Cod is in the very North Eastern part of the US. And Houston is in the middle bottom of the US in Texas. Very hot there too!
I agree with you about Poppy. That is a concern. Have you talked to her about it yet?
Let me know how the Second Life experience goes.
I hope you slept very well last night. Sorry I didn't get back to you. Busy night!
Let me know what comes of the DSM diagnosis and with Poppy. That will be a difficult conversation but I have no doubt that you will do well with her. You are a great mom.
I'm off to church so I'll try to be back on soon. Hopefully today we can talk some more.