I'm very sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in. Obviously no-one can really tell you what to do in this situation but I can help you to clarify the situation and decisions you must make so that you can make a decision. Can I ask you firstly if having an abortion is at all an option for you? You mention that you can't see it happening but does this mean that in no way would you proceed with that choice or just that this is an option you doubt you could take?
I should make it clear straight away that I have no moral stance on abortion either way and therefore am very comfortable discussion any option with you.
I can fully appreciate the ambivalence you must be feeling over the dilemma you are presented with. Without making a decision do you know whether it would be possible for you to make a decision either way? I'm pushing this line of questioning as it is important to clarify straight away whether there is actually a decision to be made here or whether it is more a situation of working out to accept a particular course of action and communicate this to those around you.
Also, this is not a situation where blame should be portioned out. You have unfortunately had a complication with your birth control medication that has lead to this situation.
If you put aside everyone else's needs for a moment, what do you want?
You do not need to apologize to anyone for feeling conflicted about this situation. You express yourself well and if you r gut feeling is that it wouldn't be appropriate to have the baby then perhaps that is the decision you should make. I know you have spoken with your sister and ex but perhaps it would be good to discuss this in detail with a person who does no t have a personal connection to you. Have you considered meeting with a counselor?
From what you have written is sounds as thought perhaps you have already made a decision but are finding it hard (understandably) to accept that decision?
I'm glad it helps to chat here. You were taking responsibility for birth control but there was an unfortunate interaction with pre-existing eating difficulties. It's very easy to use hindsight and apportion blame but really this seems like an unfortunate accident to me. Can I ask you bluntly...have you made the decision to go ahead with the procedure?
This resource my be of help over the next couple of days if you don't have access to any support services near home http://www.careconfidential.com/Onlineadvisor.aspx . I haven't had any involvement with this service so I can't make a recommendation but they appear to be able to provide online counseling specifically for pregnancy and abortion related matters. I can see that their advisor's must have a minimum of 100 hours experience and from looking at the various client stories posted they appear to not hold any specific religious or politically stance on this matter. They are based in the UK but I see no reason why you couldn't use if you wanted to. I hope this is of some help. Please write back if you have further questions or wish to continue our conversation.
Whenever two people are engaged in a sexual relationship and use birth control there is ALWAYS a risk of unplanned pregnancy. No birth control technique is fail-safe and any adult who engages in a sexual relationship with another adult knows that there is a possibility of unplanned pregnancy. You are not causing your boyfriend turmoil the situation is. You both hold responsibility for the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy and that is what has occurred. By agreeing to be responsible for birth control you were at no stage giving him a 100% guarantee because you couldn't do that. It happens to be the case that sometimes when people become unwell while taking birth control measures that the birth control looses efficacy and an unplanned pregnancy occurs. It could have happened if you got sick in a variety of other ways as well.
By the way, have you been getting any treatment or support for the eating difficulty?
You are more than welcome Margot. Unfortunately I'm somewhat of a distance from Michigan - Sweden actually!!
I'm glad this has been of help to you. If you ever have questions in the future or if I can assist you in any way please don't hesitate to contact me. Best of luck!
You are more than welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you're having to go through something really, really tough right now. Please feel free to contact me if you ever require assistance.
I wish you all the best!