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DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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can I get help and stay at home? How ling does it generally

This answer was rated:

can I get help and stay at home? How ling does it generally take to get better?

DrFee :

Hi again ---I see that you accepted and gave me a positive rating --thank you.

DrFee :

I was not expecting you to do that just yet, I appreciate it.

DrFee :

When you step in --please make a comment --I will be checking for you frequently.

Customer:

just wanted to know how to move forward until i can get help and how ling does this all take

DrFee :

how long it takes depends on some different factors. let me ask you some questions:

DrFee :

1. Do you have a history of depression?

DrFee :

2. Do you have a history of trauma?

Customer:

no I have been the care taker of all my family which is how I ended up adopting kids with needs, I have always feld envencibal until the last couple of years

DrFee :

Ok -- people with a more recent onset (meaning no long history) that is due to life's circumstances tend to be able to recover more quickly than someone with a longer history.

DrFee :

You have several choices for therapy --Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is designed to be short term

DrFee :

www.mindovermood.com

Customer:

I do realize I have a big nut to deal with but to late to move backwards

DrFee :

www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

DrFee :

Yes --it is a very painful situation, and it will take a long time for the pain to lessen, however, I think you can increase your functioning more quickly than that.

DrFee :

CBT helps one understand the connection between situation, thoughts, feelings, behaviors --and how they all affect one another.

DrFee :

You look at how your thoughts (beliefs) affect mood and behavior ---

DrFee :

You evaluate those beliefs and see which are hindering your functioning.

DrFee :

Another choice, which I mentioned before, is the EMDR

DrFee :

www.emdr.com

DrFee :

Which actually for a single incident trauma can be fairly short term

DrFee :

It does not take away grief or sadness, but would help with that belief that you have that the death is your fault.

DrFee :

Which I think could be immobilizing you.

DrFee :

Meds --can be very useful, but it sounds like the Prozac is not working, as we discussed before.

Customer:

she trusted me and at her most needy moment I was not there she must have been so scared

Customer:

I have lost the beliefe I can handle everything.

DrFee :

Do you believe in God?

Customer:

yes very much

DrFee :

When you weren't there, He was. You can't handle everything, but He can. I am betting that He took care of her in that scary moment.

Customer:

another problem is I hate to ask for help

DrFee :

Maybe it's time to learn!

Customer:

no one to ask, kids are all dependednt on my

Customer:

e and friends scarse with the life I have chosen

DrFee :

That makes sense --I don't know what resources are available to you, but I imagine with disabled children that are adopted there might be some resources that you haven't tapped into ---

Customer:

no I know all of them but with budget cuts they are not helping my 9 year old was reciving 56 hours a week one on one but they have takrn all of it away I am it the buck stops at me I can not fail but I am

DrFee :

That is quite a severe cut ---

Customer:

My kids have all done exceptional, all except the 9 year old reads I was a rock and expected them to fly bun I just sty in bed

Customer:

now I am not able to help

DrFee :

You can recover, but please keep in mind there's no quick switch to flick --and frankly, I don't see how you can do it on your own without therapy or change in meds.

Customer:

I hate pity parties and yet I sem to be pittaful

DrFee :

It's more than a pity party --it is a real condition

Customer:

I just got insurance so I am going next week to a doctoe to get a referral but am afraid I will cancel and stay in bed

DrFee :

What day is your appointment?

Customer:

i eveen feel bad bothering you with this problem

Customer:

Monday

DrFee :

This is my life's chosen work, helping people who are stuck. I am passionate about it -- you are not bothering me.

DrFee :

Is there anyone you can tell that you have this appt., anyone to help keep you accountable?

Customer:

my daughter in law knows but I have canceled the last 2 and they were the kids I am just scare I have to sit and complain to a doctor I am failing in taking care of my kids that is so hard for me

DrFee :

First off, it's not complaining. Depression is a medical illness --just because it has emotional components does not make it any less medical than a broken arm, which you probably would not feel was "complaining" if your arm was briken.

DrFee :

Tell me about feeling scared --what are you worried about?

Customer:

failing, I keep making the wrong decision when I make one. The kids are so in need of my care and yet I have to tell people I can't do the job

DrFee :

I understand how that could be scary. But, part of doing the job is getting the help that you need --hence making very important to keep this appointment.

Customer:

mu kids are from 9 to 26 those are the adopted ones I am a single parent and I only took the kids no one else was willing to take I am all they have

DrFee :

Which is very admirable and makes you a very special person. But again, all the more reason for you to do everything you can to get better so that you can take care of them.

Customer:

I am agreeing with you, I am going to go and ask for a referral, just feel stupid when I have always been the rock

Customer:

I seem to be able to get them through but not me

DrFee :

Well, you probably can't change that perception by Monday --but the important thing is to get there. Eventually, I hope that you can change that perception. There's one Expert on JA who always starts his chats with "Seeking help is a sign of strength." I think that fits here!

DrFee :

You see them as valuable, but maybe not yourself as much ?

Customer:

thank you I am trying

DrFee :

You are welcome

DrFee :

Please feel free to leave me a message that you made it on Monday, I will watch for it.

Customer:

itis wonderful to have this site to ask questions , I will leave you wor on monday thank you again

DrFee :

You are welcome. Take good care.

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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