Hi again ---I see that you accepted and gave me a positive rating --thank you.
I was not expecting you to do that just yet, I appreciate it.
When you step in --please make a comment --I will be checking for you frequently.
just wanted to know how to move forward until i can get help and how ling does this all take
how long it takes depends on some different factors. let me ask you some questions:
1. Do you have a history of depression?
2. Do you have a history of trauma?
no I have been the care taker of all my family which is how I ended up adopting kids with needs, I have always feld envencibal until the last couple of years
Ok -- people with a more recent onset (meaning no long history) that is due to life's circumstances tend to be able to recover more quickly than someone with a longer history.
You have several choices for therapy --Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is designed to be short term
I do realize I have a big nut to deal with but to late to move backwards
Yes --it is a very painful situation, and it will take a long time for the pain to lessen, however, I think you can increase your functioning more quickly than that.
CBT helps one understand the connection between situation, thoughts, feelings, behaviors --and how they all affect one another.
You look at how your thoughts (beliefs) affect mood and behavior ---
You evaluate those beliefs and see which are hindering your functioning.
Another choice, which I mentioned before, is the EMDR
Which actually for a single incident trauma can be fairly short term
It does not take away grief or sadness, but would help with that belief that you have that the death is your fault.
Which I think could be immobilizing you.
Meds --can be very useful, but it sounds like the Prozac is not working, as we discussed before.
she trusted me and at her most needy moment I was not there she must have been so scared
I have lost the beliefe I can handle everything.
Do you believe in God?
yes very much
When you weren't there, He was. You can't handle everything, but He can. I am betting that He took care of her in that scary moment.
another problem is I hate to ask for help
Maybe it's time to learn!
no one to ask, kids are all dependednt on my
e and friends scarse with the life I have chosen
That makes sense --I don't know what resources are available to you, but I imagine with disabled children that are adopted there might be some resources that you haven't tapped into ---
no I know all of them but with budget cuts they are not helping my 9 year old was reciving 56 hours a week one on one but they have takrn all of it away I am it the buck stops at me I can not fail but I am
That is quite a severe cut ---
My kids have all done exceptional, all except the 9 year old reads I was a rock and expected them to fly bun I just sty in bed
now I am not able to help
You can recover, but please keep in mind there's no quick switch to flick --and frankly, I don't see how you can do it on your own without therapy or change in meds.
I hate pity parties and yet I sem to be pittaful
It's more than a pity party --it is a real condition
I just got insurance so I am going next week to a doctoe to get a referral but am afraid I will cancel and stay in bed
What day is your appointment?
i eveen feel bad bothering you with this problem
This is my life's chosen work, helping people who are stuck. I am passionate about it -- you are not bothering me.
Is there anyone you can tell that you have this appt., anyone to help keep you accountable?
my daughter in law knows but I have canceled the last 2 and they were the kids I am just scare I have to sit and complain to a doctor I am failing in taking care of my kids that is so hard for me
First off, it's not complaining. Depression is a medical illness --just because it has emotional components does not make it any less medical than a broken arm, which you probably would not feel was "complaining" if your arm was briken.
Tell me about feeling scared --what are you worried about?
failing, I keep making the wrong decision when I make one. The kids are so in need of my care and yet I have to tell people I can't do the job
I understand how that could be scary. But, part of doing the job is getting the help that you need --hence making very important to keep this appointment.
mu kids are from 9 to 26 those are the adopted ones I am a single parent and I only took the kids no one else was willing to take I am all they have
Which is very admirable and makes you a very special person. But again, all the more reason for you to do everything you can to get better so that you can take care of them.
I am agreeing with you, I am going to go and ask for a referral, just feel stupid when I have always been the rock
I seem to be able to get them through but not me
Well, you probably can't change that perception by Monday --but the important thing is to get there. Eventually, I hope that you can change that perception. There's one Expert on JA who always starts his chats with "Seeking help is a sign of strength." I think that fits here!
You see them as valuable, but maybe not yourself as much ?
thank you I am trying
You are welcome
Please feel free to leave me a message that you made it on Monday, I will watch for it.
itis wonderful to have this site to ask questions , I will leave you wor on monday thank you again
You are welcome. Take good care.