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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi steven olsen please. i looked up the blood clot thing

Customer Question

hi steven olsen please.

i looked up the blood clot thing and its like i could have pre term labor and separation of the placenta from the uterine wall. and of course a miscarriage.
i dont have bedrest. hes saying my job is too strenuous. i can go places. like the movies. as long as im not theme parking it.. i can shop if robs there to lift, but he doesnt want me long time walking or in the heat etc. he said i cna clean up the house if im not scrubbing the floor. so light duty as he said and no sex. i said oh please even if you didnt saay it i was going to tell rob that anyway. please, what am i? stupid?

ok whats flexible fmla? i thought fmla is unpaid leave.

i have helped other people above and beyond (or so i have thought..) but it was just so nice and it made me want to cry, b/c it was so sweet and rare. i wanted to come get you? come on. she said when she heard me crying she knew it was bad as im pretty calm (see? just b/c you think im a mess doesnt mean other people think i am!) and i never call. which is true. why do i have anormal relationship with kate? i know im not perfect, but now that im a mom i feel i see more things wrong with mine. not to be 20/20 hindsighted. i know parenting styles change.. like kids were nev er taken to school. like my mom walked to school from kindergarten. i didnt. my mom did take me. she makes comment about that all the time, but like a long while ago i said but wasnt that what all the moms did? i mean i wouldnt let kate. shes gorgeous. and yes im afraid soemone else will think so too. and hurt her. or just want her b/c they want soemone to love due to their own issues in their own lives. i mean the eybrow girl was telling me wheres kate? and i was like shes locked in the car righ now why? and shes like no shes not. but kates a wild woman in there. theres all makeup and drawers and kate will open it all. and ashley is nice enough to fix it and put it back, but its not fair to her. anyway she told me what a pisser kate is and i told her everything thats wrong with kate is me. and shes was dying laughing. i said really, all the challenging curious behavior is me. its not that shes bad. its just hard on me. like my mom demonized it. but i didnt mean anything steve. i know kate doesnt either. but shes not the kid who just sits quietly. at times she does but its totally at her own will.
\anyway i dont have to tell you i would fight kill or die for kate. i just would.

i feel bad for rob b/c as a kid he was always told b y his parents they didnt have any money and they couldnt do this or that. and that as it. so rob didnt ask for it. b/c they always said how poor they are. they still have an apt. but now go on lavish vacations. rob says none of that happened til he was 25. right as he moved out. ironic isnt it? and he paid for alot of the trip for the whole family. then after that they somehow were able to do it every year. with his bro still living there and not working for tons of times. so i dont get it. i had the same thing as a kid really. couldnt eat out, couldnt go here, couldnt do this. and dont ask. and i too really didnt ask. i would tell my friends i would and then just not ask and then say my mom said no. it was easier. why fight with her? id be in trouble just for asking.

i did challenge rob on the debt thing and said to him if it wasnt for me we wouldnt have this house and then we wouldve lost it. and we have the nice cars, and its not b/c im doing soemthing wrong. and i hope its not about you not trusting me. he said no i thought maybe soem,where you were missing what we could cut or something. i told him this place runs on reganomics and i soemhow pay it all out. it all gets paid. and were doing better than we did before. and we will cont to do better. im working on it. so. were fine.
i kind of felt bad about my mom avoiding me. but. i guess its good to avoid a fight too. i dont need it. and if shes feeling bitchy i would rather avoid it. i thought it was kind of mean of my mil to find it so laughable. i would find it sad. and take it seriously.
and i think you want to visit. btw youd laugh your ass off.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Well first off FMLA. FMLA can be taken whole, or intermittently, which is how you might need it. It is unpaid, but only when all of your sick, personal and vacation time is expired. Then it switches to unpaid leave. Once you are there a year and have a qualifying condition, (you do) they must give this to you and it protects your job.

 

I guess I misunderstood the bed rest concept. What you have sounds like a respite at home. No work, but you can do light stuff. No sex for Rob. That's bad for him. And, I know you love to look up medical things, but this could simply dissolve, this clot, and back you go to work. If you read the dangers on the Tylenol bottle they sound pretty grim too, but most of the time, the vast majority of it...nothing happens. You have to see this as prepare for the worst but expect the best. You do the first part well, but I am hoping you can get some of the second part...expecting the best, XXXXX XXXXX more strongly.

 

I do not think you are a mess. I think you are in a lot of emotional and "life" pain. ANd, it was very sweet of her to offer to come get you. And, it does show you how people are supposed to be vs. what you were shown by your mother. And you can now see how normal is for a little girl. Kate is smart and clever and explores and investigates. She is not going to sit still and let life simply happen around her. You have many of those traits as you describe yourself. As a result, you can see what you were told about your own value by your mother, compared to how you deal with Kate as her parent. It is night and day.

 

And, this all shows you how became so questioning of your own thoughts and feelings at times. Mom instilled a lot of self doubt in you. But that does not mean you cannot see it for what it was and realize, based on all that you have told me about your own parenting, that you can "rewrite" what happened to you as a girl and begin to see that need for love and acceptance and loneliness as the result of a parent who made you feel so insecure. And, look at what the restrictions Rob faced. They were different than your own, yet you see the results of what happened to him as a child reflected in the behavior of his adult life. My point is, you too have hurts that came from what mom did, and her restrictions and withholding of love and acceptance. But, if you can see that this is not you, but rather her issues, it can help you feel more secure, more solid, as mom's issues were her own...and they were not about you.

 

I am glad you and Rb talked about the money in the home. He doesn't sound quite so investigative as simply confused. And, agreed: Not seeing your mother is a good thing. She is not doing well and you do not need that pressure. You have enough of your own stuff right now. And MIL. That was not very kind, at all. She laughed at this, and ok, in a dark weird way it has some humor, but why on earth could she not see that this behavior is hurtful to you? All you wanted is to get along and feel like a real daughter and to be loved and accepted by your mother. That is not funny. Her reaction to you (your mom) is pitiful really. But it is not funny. I am sure I would find your family a psychological hoot. Mine is. Steven

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
well after my thinking im not uch a bad mom yesterday - kate proved me wrong. yep. wait til you hear this doozy of a story.
well kate came home from ym mils. she was already asleep. the a/c was going on high, cuzs it was still over 80 in there. (it was 94 when i put it on) so he brought kate upstairs. we left it going on high to cool off and were going to give it a chance. so with the a/c is the door closed. now long ago at least 6 months ago kate broke the baby monitor. maybe she doesnt like us spying on her? she likes her private time? i dont know but she threw it. and its broken broken cuz rob said he cant fix it. when it was thrown it opened and a microchip in it broke in half. so rob said he cant fix it to work he tried for it to be just sound but neither comes thru. he said it must be "the brain' ok so kates bigger, and i listen for her. and shes loud. lets face it. ok so we sat down to watch hot tub tiem machine a really funny stupid movie. it has drugs and sex so maybe after jack goes to bed. ok, so were like 25 min in and rob has the remote and its free on netflix btw, and i say stop the movie. i think i hear kate. he says no no. i tell him rob i hear kate. he does and kates sobbing. we run upstairs him ahead of me and kates at the foot of our bed (shes been instructed to nev er get off of it.) and shes beet red and has been sobbing for prob 10 min or longer as shes not as loud and her hair is all mussed up and she threw up all over our bed. and shes trying to stay away from it. and shes pointing telling us its stinky over there. honestly kates vomit is so acidic (and i smell vomit for a living) it hits you as soon as you open the door. shes trembling and im trying to soothe her and the nite lights on, but shes syaing theres a monster and its scary and its dark and babys scared. and most pitifilly mommy help baby? steve i was crying. i told rob how awful we are as i was trying to coo at kate and how she can have what ever she wants (thats right f**king ponies included.) and how im buying anew baby monitor on thur when i get paid. so robs like ok ok ok. i can tell he feels bad as he came behind me to coo at kate and try to reassure us both since i was teared up with her but tryin g to pretend it was ok and mommys here and daddys here.

so rob has to clean up the vomit and change the bed and she ruined our featherbed and our mattress sucks and i was hoping in august we would get anew one and the featherbed was actually ruined. it soaked all thru it and now we have none and the bed is a fright. so we took kate downstairs and gave her a bath and let her stay up and watch hot tub time machine and its 12mn and we took her upstairs to new clean bed and her in new pjs and she kept pointing where the vomit was and its stinky and when rob turned off the lights we got the no its scary and the monster is here. so rob took his reg flashlight and said wheres the monster and "killed" it. which made kate cry (we cant win) well for over an hour and half shes bouncing on the bed. i finally got her to lay with me and stroked her head with a lantern on and she fell asleep. im freaking exhausted. i didn fall asleep til after 2 and was up by 645 to get them out the door.

she went to my mothers as planned and i called to tell them she may be sleepy or whatever. theyre like shes fine. im like ok good for her and you. that was my kind of f**k you im taking a nap after i start getting soem stuff done cuz geez,.

so i said to rob you have to get a pony for kate and hes like great add it to the list. and kate said she wants to ride the pony. i told rob shes getting her tricycle and a new baby monitor and rob said im not fighting you. i told him good cuz youll lose.


my god just whe n you think you suck less than your parents. i feel so awful and guilty steve i dont know what to say really.


and i said if you came here youd laugh your ass off hanging with me and rob and my crew of friends. i could invite my family over for a day just to amuse you, but i wouldnt even want to waste your time.

nah if you were coming for a day wed show you you shouldve came sooner.

too bad we got rid of our hot tub. i said to rob what if that hot tub was a hot tub time machine? and he said yeah right (rob cut it up into pieces to move it to throw it out it was all fiberglass good times) and i said it was prob was hot tub hepatitis... ick.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hey steve, i called my hr dept and they said that even though i can use my vac/ personal, for this time out they said i have to use my fmla. so i said oh but if im using my vac/ personal isnt that still my time? and after that runs out its fmla? they said no. so these 2 weeks it will count 2 weeks off my fmla time. i dont think thats fair
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok well according to the fmla website they can use it against me. if i want to take the last 2 weeks before i have the baby plus have 8 weeks in case of c section i have to go back after next week. no choices. my job will be posted. and of course they dont have to give it to me im sure. they dont use a calander year they use it from the first occurrence, and well it seems everything is to f**k us over essentially.
the more i asked the more the answers were pretty bad and she just said cheerfully if im not hired back inot my spot, ill be terminated.

so i guess you better not get cancer or something cu z you wont have a job waiting for you here

and of course the 5k ill have to pay them. just add to all the problems of losing my job. and any time i take off they 'extend" my contract. so if i take a full 3 months, it ll extend my contract 3 months past the original expiration date.

iu want to get away from these people
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

FMLA, once granted burns sick, then personal, then vacation until it is all gone. Yes, sadly, they will make you use your vacation and all leave time as FMLA and the clock starts ticking on the FMLA time limits the moment it is active. But they have to give you an equivalent position if you return to work under FMLA. It does not have to be your old job, but it has to be same rank and level. They cannot terminate you if FMLA is active. Only if FMLA expires fully can they do that or if they lay you off b/c the jobs no longer exist.

 

Now, prior parent experiences aside: We have all been there. I can tell you maybe three-four times stuff like this vomit in the dark episode happened to my own kids, where you think they are okay but then find out they are not...You swear that you will never neglect your own children but then discover by accident that you did. It happens, to the best of us.

 

We had our monitor on the wrong channel and thought nothing was wrong and you guessed it; it was. So, if your going to condemn yourself, you may as well condemn me and my wife too, and everybody else I know. This is not bad parenting, this is an accident. Bad parents, and I have seen lots, tell the child to shut up and go back to bed or beat the child for being sick, etc. You were not abusive, you just happened to join the parents who wish they had clones to cover everything club.

 

And great work with the magical thinking flashlight monster killer. I missed that she would see the monster dying as a bad thing. Looks like flashlight paralyzers are in your future. The lethal options just don't cut it with your daughter obviously. (I had to smile at this one. She is clever and funny, that Kate.)

 

I know it is easy to worry about the job and the leave and everything. But wait and see what happens. You do not know the details yet and you may be able to return to work if the clot dissolves. Extending the contract to match time actually worked. I get that. But I want to see them put in the expense to recover the 5k if you leave. I bet they would lose more than they would gain. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
at my old shit hole they let us use our time and then once it was used, then use fmla. unpaid with 6 weeks of disability $100 a week. and 6 weeks unpaid. its the same at my dads job and he was like if youre using your time thats nolt right and then i looked at fmla fed website and essentially they have all these diff ways the employer can do it and burn you. so theyre burning me. yes i can return but if i go out 2 weeks before delivery, have the baby and its a c section thatll be 10 weeks. so with these 2 weeks im up. that sit. so... i have to go back after these 2 weeks. and essentially make the choice that i could lose the baby. if the ob doesnt give me the all clear. i will have to talk with him but.. i cant even believe he put me out for these 2 weeks. hes never put me out.
i told rob ill have to take my chances that ill lose the baby. its still so early for all this nonsense really. even the one i lost i had no restrictions. i dont want to make this choice, but.. i have a baby that s counting on me already. and i cant lose my job. or be terminated. i guess we could try again. i dont want that either i feel like ive tried enough and have been preg enough. seriously. i feel like this is a 3 rd world country where im actually making this choice. im actually choosing this shitty job over a child b/c of financial reasons. i carry the health ins. its on me. all of it. rob of course is equally a huge part of it, but hes not preg luckily.

i feel awful over this all. i cant even believe it.


kate. yes she is funny. i almost fell over when rob killed it and kate cried. im holding her and shes saying mommy and the monsters dead the monsters dead. i told her no daddy was just playing with the monster and look hes alive. (kill me steven.) it is frustrating. i do give her credit that she didnt want lethal force used on the monster. i cant tell if monsters are her friend or not... she plays with the other monster in the living room and shows it her nightgown she just changed inot her her dress and throws the ball with that one. i told him to do the flashlight after you told me thats what you did...

so... see? you want to meet kate.

who knew she could always win and i could always lose? she outsmarts me. i never imagined it...


the 5k would be put inot collections and go on your credit and we want another house so i dont want to risk that really.

this place seems really shitty. no wonder why everyone hates it. and theres always a collection for someone. theres no benefits.


Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

All of the places I worked treated FMLA like your current employer. It started immediately and they make you use your time as a part of it. (that is how I was trained as a manager as well.) But the botXXXXX XXXXXne here is not FMLA. It is that this is a lot of confusion, and ongoing confusion, as not all the facts are in.

 

Yes, you could be cleared to return to work in two weeks, but you might not. You do not know, and won't for while, sadly. And, it is possible that you could jeopardize your pregnancy by working, but until you talk with your doctor you cannot make a choice right now, either way. So, no use worrying about what you cannot change.

 

I do feel that it is my obligation to say that the life of you and your unborn baby should take precedence over any job. I know economically that this is easy to say, hard to do, but I worry about you and the damage you could do to yourself emotionally if you went to work and lost the baby as a result. I am not sure I could advocate for you returning to work if you were on a restriction. Again, the final choice is yours, but I do get concerned for your emotional well being. That is my job.

 

I do know that it is grossly premature to even talk/think about having another child and discussing what if I lose this baby? That is a thought process for another time, another place, perhaps not even real. There is planning, and there is planning that is unhealthy. That is the second of the two. Of course you will think thoughts like this, but it is a thought that for now, should be immediately pushed aside.

 

Kate is, cunning. Yes, that is the word. She is bright in a way that makes even the brightest thoughts fail. Who knew she would do this lethal monster crying thing. Hey, at least you know she is on time developmentally/cognitively as she understood what you were doing 100%...but killing the monster and crying...didn't see that coming.

 

A thought about the 5k: Let it go onto your credit report and put a refute statement on it that says it is in contention. That is an option as well. I think that this whole thing is nothing short of career blackmail. If they want nurses so badly they should allow some flexibility and prorate the fee, something. I can see why everyone hates it (them). Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
steven i would love to say that this child takes precedence over everything else, but i dont qualify for food stamps and welfare. and if i dotn pay all that money to the fed... well who will pay for everyone else food stamps and welfare? rob cannot swing this by himself and without ins theres no point. so there i am.
i can see if i can beg peter to let me do traige. but i dont know if hell go for that. i am hearing nights is very short and the place is very busy. my friend wendy just called and said she has gotten ehr ass kicked the last 2 weeks and cancelled her ot b/c she said shes exhausted. i told her last week i worked 2 days and got killed too. then i started bleeding.

i dont even know if should ask him.


cunning. i guess she is. although i feel cunning has a bad connotation, i havent looked the word up, and im not working on a dictionary meaning.. but i dont think she does this intentionally. like oh mommy and daddy think ti will shut me up to kill the monster. i think it was like theres a monster and then when we said we killed it.. well maybe thats not what she intended...


it says in the contract its not pro rated for the time you did work. so if youre a day short, you pay the 5k. wendy had a lawyer look at it and he said theyll come after you and itd be easier to pay them than to pay me to fight it. so.. there we all are. under contract hating it.

i knew this contract would suck. and now its extended for 2 weeks. yay.

im tired of being behind in the count and making bad choices from horrible ones. i know i will resent working there if i lose this baby. and i will know its their fault. i will blame myself too. i already told rob its not his fault. ill take it. i need a bigger coffin for all im taking to the grave with me. at the end of working at the last place i was so unhappy it was unbelievable. irnocially their staffing had improved over years and it was better staffed than where i work. also the old place had no one minding the switch there was no quality control, unless jacho was coming. so if you didnt fill out a form or whatever, no one knew. unless you got sued. plenty of nurses there didnt fill out their shit and didnt write notes and it wasnt b/c tghey ran the whole shift. it go in the way of them texting. but they still work there. i dont so whos the asshole?

we all know the answer to that. they have their seniority and look at me.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

As you cannot help but work, you need to assert what is best for yourself and the baby. Although pregnancy is not a disability per say you can approach this with Peter as an accommodation request that is temporary. He may balk, but at least you can ask.

 

I certainly would say that you should. I would not be afraid to play the emotion card here as there is nothing legal you can apply to the situation. Work sounds too crazy and busy for you to be there as you are now...and stress at this job is a given. So you have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself. If begging for a job change is the way to need to do it, I would say, so be it. He may not like it, but it is better than you not being at work at all.

 

Kate is cunning in a child's impish way. I didn't mean it as an adult's definition, as that has a lot of negative connotations to it.

 

Your contract does suck. That is not professional, but I think you can agree that it is the truth.

 

You are caught in a highly stressful situation. I agree. You seem to get caught in a lot of these seeming no win situations. But I do know that you come through them and before we sell the farm here; it is worth asking Peter what he thinks and getting a full assessment from the doctor as to what the risk is, in his opinion. What are the real risks with working that the baby would miscarry? This is not known, and until it is, the full choice cannot be made. Steven

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
well i was advised by an employment layer here on just answer that a reg preg is not a disability but a preg with a complication is. and that i need to be accommodated for it. so if the drs say if i had a desk job i could work, they could put me at the triage as a temporarily disabled worker. like if i broke my foot or soemthing. so i was thinking if peters that short i may be able to sway him although i dont know. i know he has another guy out in triage everyday. hes a golden boy and i dont think its fair but that shis daily assignment. im afraid i would get complaints from other nurses like jen who is having a normal preg, she would not qualify for this.
i am afraid even if the dr says i can go back im still afraid i will hurt this baby. its gotten wrapped in my head i admit.

the lawyer told me about the ada thing and told me to pull it to hr and the union if neccesary.

i am afraid of pulling big guns and making enemies. honestly. i dotn know if should call my old mentor christine and reach out for advice as she knows peter for 10 yrs plus... or if i should just go it alone and say look peter theyre willing to let me work the desk, and im willing to do it. and i want to come back. i dotn know if thatll score points that im trying not to take time, or itll be like look youre not whole and we dont want you. i will pressure the ob to put me back as i have no choice and i will tell him when i deliver i will lose my job. i mean thats where i am. i dotn know how else to slice it.

steven i come thru these situation from clawing my way thru and thats the gods honest truth. why did this have to happen? i never had a preg restriction. 3 preg at my old place. and now its like i cant work. my old place let you take a year unpaid.

i dont know if the drs will let me and ill really be behind the 8 ball. i dont know if i just dont submit the new note illt ake the risk onto my self and go to work. if the hosp doesnt make me bring a form saying oh shes cleared to work. im in a real catch 22. i am very concerned about it.

ik had the thought i could have the preg terminated and end all of this. it costs more, but then it would end a drs clearance too. i dont know how rob will feel about me terminating as opposed to just letting nature take its course and me losing it. if i lose it, well how is it diff than women in other countries who have to go to the field or have to do what they have to do?

i am also upset this ob couldnt see me today. i feel like they shouldve pushed me in and gotten this over with.

i cant keep going with oh well see we dont know etc. and they dont care about my career or more importantly my ability to support kate and the house. i cant just throw away all we have worked for. its just not possible.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

I thought about this for a while. The attorney is right. There are times when you have to put your short term employment welfare against what might be a tougher long term outcome.

 

Simply: If a complicated pregnancy qualifies as ADA the employer has to accommodate it if the accommodation is reasonable. They have little choice. It is not, Peter, please accommodate. It is, HR I need an accommodation due to a temporary disability. If they cannot find it in the unit you are with presently,they can find it in utilization review, follow up care, whatever. But they have to. I know what you mean about not wanting to create enemies, but if you do this with grace and firmness, I do not see that happening.

 

You are right. You had several pregnancies and this one is the only complicated one. It happens. And, that is why we have these laws. And, I know from HR that the laws favor you heavily in this, not the employer. So. if you can. Go for it.

 

There is wisdom in getting multiple opinions so I see nothing wrong with asking your old friend. Just do not get too many opinions or you will feel like a wave on the sea.

 

You do not know what you will experience with this baby and even if you work there as is, there is no guarantee that the baby would be hurt. Based on your history I can see how you would think so, but the past does not guarantee the actions of the future in this way. But in all things, do not jump to conclusions. You don't even know what the facts are. And, talk about possible regrets. There are many, much more permanent consequences than a job loss with certain courses of action. I do not think you should decide anything without lots and lots of information. Don't get me wrong: I know you want to know, but sometimes we cannot know. And, throwing away all that you have over this? I just do not see it happening.

 

You waited a year on that licensing issue, and that worked out. This will too, but waiting and learning facts is a process. Let the process happen. Right now you are safe with a short restriction and medical respite from work. And, things do happen quickly once they get rolling. Your OB will see you; not rushing you in is a good sign as they probably cannot judge fully yet either. Deep breath. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi steve, i hope you had a happy 4th of july. i see my account has gone from unlimited to pay per view. ill start a new one....
i got paid a day early somehow and i took that to go out shopping. i know prob not the smartest thing when you dont know how many paycheck left you have, but it wasnt for frivelous things. althought i still want to buy frivelous things. we went to see brave, i dont know if you saw it, but it was cute.. but took a direction i wasnt aware it woould. its kates first movie in a movie theatre and she at 1st sat in her booster seat and was very good. she sat about 45- 1hr. she somehow soaked her diaper with pee and her butt was drenched so we stripped her naked in the theatre and changed her (add the movies as another place kate has been butt naked) and we redressed but she was ready to run and play and luckily it wasnt too crowded at the movies (it was overcast when we were dressing, and it said thunderstorms were coming so i thought wed just goto the movies) but she ran fom seat to seat (in an empty section next to us) and sat on one seat, stayed and then decided the seat next to her might be better. or in the next row. she looked super little in there doing it. she was shocked by the size of the screen and kept saying GIANT TV. i told her no its the movies it a big screen... she was very excited to see brave and said i go see brave? and i said yes b/c youre a good girl. and she did. today she wants to watch it again and cried when i told her its only at the movies and its not on tv yet. its tough to be 2.


we did end up buying a tricycle. walmart got a whole bunch in and kate rode the test one and liked it although she likes rob pushing her from behind. and we got a new baby monitor. so thats all set up and ready to go. we went out to dinner and it was pretty good, and kate sat and ate and then we came home. it was along day we were out like 8 hrs or so.


im not bleeding yet, so im hoping thats a good sign and unfortunately i have a ton of laundry again, and the dishes are still piling up. so ill be running the dishwasher at least twice, it prob needs more than that but im limiting myself to 2 times plus all the stuff from walmart needs to be put away.


kates been asking to call pop pop (my father) since she came out of brave yesterday. i told her it was too late last night and still shes asking since 6am to call pop pop.


i havent thought too much about the work thing b/c essentially im telling them i have to go back and thats it. i dont have any choice so.. whats there to talk about?


anyway kates been clinging to me and and now she say sshe has a tummyache, so ill check back with you later
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Hello Liz,

 

Did have a hot, but nice 4th. I am not sure how my BIL stood it, cooking in front of a hot grill for two hours...but at least I didn't have to do it.

 

My middle daughter wants to see Brave in the worst way. What do you mean it took an odd direction? (I couldn't care less about spoilers in a cartoon). But your adventure in the theater sounds interesting to say the least. Two years olds a 45 minutes of focus, not too bad. And the 4th of July is a great day to go to the movies. We used to do it all the time as it often less crowded.

 

Well, it is a good thing to have a new baby monitor. You need one and the tricycle, that is good too...and I am hoping that you are able to go back to work without incident. From what you are telling me, you seem like you are making some progress physically. Let's hop[e this is a good sign.

 

You may want to talk with the moderators. Pearl does have subscriptions.

 

Hope Kate is feeling better. Steven

 

 

 

 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi steven,
oh brave, theres nothing offensive in it, i promise, well it starts out that theres men (boys really) that are brought to the kingdom to woo merida. (the red headed girl) so.. the beginning starts strong. she doesnt want to get married shes not ready and doesnt know these guys. the mother the queen is admament but not in a scary way just like its time.

so she say sshes going to shoot for her own hand and out shoots the boys. and im loving the movie. well she then goes to a witch who gives her a spell and the spell turns her mother inot a black bear. and they spend the rest of the movie trying to get her back to be aperson. with the witch not there she went to some fair and shell be back ina few months.

and i thought... well i mean it was nice that it was a mother daughter movie and it wasnt demented or abusive really, i thought her turning into a bear for 45 min of the movie or more maybe.. well it was weird. and she cant speak shes a bear.

so rob and i agreed we expected more from the movie.


kate has a tummyache b/c shes constipated (my fault really, when she goes to the mothers no one at eithers is concerned if she poops or not and isnt good at report - on ly if kates in pain and it either annoys them (my mil or freaks them out my parents..) either way ive been giving kat esenna and she hasnt pooped and finally i broke down and gave her the harshest thing i save for troubles like this and that the liquid glycerin suppository from fleets. it burns kates ass that screams from it and cries sobbing it burns it hurts over and over. but they poop in about 15 minutes. then she poops a man sized poop while i hold her and try to console her. she begged for rob until i finally called, but she was talking again and he tried to calm her while i was changing this awful diaper.

so she will poop again from it but it wont be this terrible experience and all day shell be pooping but, well at least shes not obstructed.


yeah n i thought 45 min wasnt too bad and ill tell you it happened at the same XXXXX XXXXXke after she was bear. i think it really lost focus there. and so did kate.

i hope no on ein the theater was like why are they letting that kid go seat to seat, but she was right next to us and wasnt yelling or impeding anyone view. as no one was even too close to us. they were laying brave every hr since it was in 2 theaters.


i want to start potty training kat ebut i feel like she doesnt know when she has the urge to pee. she can tell you im wet, or i only made pee if i prompt her, like did you poop? no i peed. or if she pooped shell come and tell me i pooped. but.. i feel like ok... shes not able to say i need to pee or to hold it. i think we should wait a few months really, but i dont know if im holding her back or babying her. esp since i still give her a bottle as she threw away her pacifier. and she clutches it.


i figured kate does stuff in her own time when shes ready, but maybe i should push her a little. i def dont want double bottles when i have the next one. shell be over 2 and half. double diapers.. well i thought when i have the next one ill potty train kate while im home with that one. i dont know if thats crazy or too stressful, but that was my thought.


whats pearl? and you can put for click accept answers - this question started unlimited and it stays that way. its when i open a new question itll charge me.


im totally lying to the ob if he asks if im bleeding. unless im hemorrhaging - nope im not bleeding. he didnt even want to check me last time. i shouldve just kept my mouth shut. im kinda pissed at myself.


oh and i got a helmet with kates tricycle. i figure when shes at the grandmas houses and its all concrete. helmet. in our backyard grass is ok. and she got a snake. its a rubber snake that boys had when i was little. i hate it but kate loves it, so i am stuck with it. she even remembered it while we were upstairs and it was downstairs after sleeping all night. shes like snake snake? i was like yeah that creepy thing is downstairs. and shes playing with it now. it cost$1. i think thats what they cost when i was a kid
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Well, it does sound like Brave is less than wonderful. I kind of liked the empower the girls theme, but if half of the movie is fighting a bear transformation, yawn...no way will we watch that until it comes out on disk...which is what we do most of the time anyway.

 

Constipation and glycerin suppositories...ah, memories. That is not good that your relatives miss the fact she hasn't had a bowel movement. When my kids were little we knew how long it had been, all the time. It helped with toilet training and tracking that fact wasn't hard, even with two of them in diapers.

 

It is best, XXXXX XXXXX what I know clinically and as a parent, to let the kids decide when they are ready to toilet train. We encouraged with reinforcements, but even with all of that they were ready when they were ready, and not a second before. And, if is weird. Each child has the duration of the process different. Some take a short time, others longer. Jack was done in a week. Nikki, six months. Kate will tell you when she is ready. And, I will give yo the thoughts of our favorite pediatrician on bottles and sippy cups. When we worried that our children were not progressing he said" See many adults with bottles and sippy cups? They self regulate the process. So true. Naturally, at a certain age they just move on. As far as toilet training when you have a new one ion the house. We did. It worked. But it was slower at times due to all the interruptions, etc. But I think it is a good idea. If Kate seems ready, why not? If not, that is okay too. Pearl.com is what JA is turning into. Check it out if you wish. I saw they had subscriptions last I looked and the questions end up with us here, for now.

 

I think you had to tell your OB about the bleeding. It was significant and what if you had not said something? You might have pushed yourself further. I think this break helped you. And, not saying anything is your choice I guess, but as you are not going to listen to what they say anyway...what is the risk of telling the full story? At least if you do you might be able to get an accommodation for work under ada.

 

A rubber snake? My oldest had one too. The others were never interested in them. I had one though. Snakie I think I called it. How original. Steven

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi steven. wrote my response and lost it.
an oldie but a goodie. my laptop is broken, yes broken broken, rob said its electrical and the power cord theres soemthing wrong with it to charge it. anyway i want a an ipad. yep. thats right an ipad. everyone has an i something and i have i nothing. not a pod, or phone or pad, touch or whatever else they make. and yes im serious.

and no the kindle is super hard to type on. i tried. hard to shop on, the screen is too small. its good to watch movies and mickey an d play games..


look, go see brave. i dont wnat all you rkids pissed at me. we dotn need that. the movie was cute, it had good jokes and kate loved the 3 little bears. loved the little guys. and she asked to see it again today.. so how bad could it be? if we had it i wouldve watched it again. sometiems esp when youre watching kids thru something you miss stuff and i did spend time changing her and tryin g to keep her within the zip code of the movie theater. so i was a little distracted ta times.


so did your kids say ok i want to take a crack at this potty thing? or id like tos it on the toilet for 30 min per day like daddy?

just wondering. ive been trying to talk it up.. like oh you can sit on the potty and look heres big girl underwear... but.. shes like pretty or whatever. but i dont think it makes sense to her. and at night i dont see it at all.


i know there are no adults with sippy cups.. but i dont want a 5 year old with a bottle either. really. why she gave up the pacifier ill never know. she was a real pacifier baby too. i think the bottle took over in its place.


so is pearl by the ja people? it seems like copyright infrigement to me.. but what do i know?


i will be in trouble if my ob does not clear me and the hosp demands me to have a note clearing me. i dotn know what will happen. i guess i could see another ob? i dont know what ill do then. but i am going to tell him i have to go back to work. then ill call and say i can go back. and hopefully they wont say oh wheres your note clearing you?

so then what? we lose the house? no really. i mean tell me what to do then? and ill lose my job. and the house.. and have another kid with no health insurance. dont know. its not looking so hot. i worked for all the crappy crap i have now. its not the best crap but its mine and i dont plan on losing it.

ifi have to work under the ada thing they may force me to work staright days 8 to 4 5 days a week and illl never see kate. so im not risking any of this. ill just beg the charge nurses not to kill me and thats it. ill do the best i can.


anyway 2 con ed managers got hurt, in 2 separate incidents. one was a fire at a sub station and the other was a man hole explosion. my dad said yeah take a whole bunch of guys who wear khakis every day and work in an office and then throw them inot a manhole fire. only one guy fits ina hole and unfortunately bad things can happen quickly. my dad pulled another guy out when the hole caught fire (my dad was the his partner and the other guy i supposed to be outside to radio for help, and to rescue the other guy..) and they also take turns working theyre only supposed to be in there for 1 hr or soemthing. anyway the hole made a flash and then was on fire and my dad lifted the other guy out by the shoulders.. yrs and yrs ago. he had minor burns - the type you get from a flash really - like eyebrows and facial hair singed. anyway the guys name was tank. his nickname anyway and tank always tells that story. your dad saved my life, he got me out he lifted me by my shoulders. and now i dotn have to tell you tank was a bit of a big boy. hes wider than my dad.. but a little shorter. like 6 2 or 63, and he looks like a nfl guy. and obviously hes a black guy.

so one of the mangers is now admitted to cornell burn with burns to his face and hands. the other had burns but was only in reg cornell hosp. must have not been severe enough. ive been to cornell burn unit and they only have 20 beds.. so. it has to be severe. the whole city transfers to them. i know the burn unit sees guys in the reg hosp too if theyre less severe. burn pts are the worst, b/c theyre ina ton of pain and all the dsg changes and its a mess.


oh and i called to talk to my dad.. but my mom answered.. anyway i told her about taking kate for brave and i didnt get inot the whole she didnt stay still thru the movie, but i felt she did well for her age, anyway kate told my mother she ate pasta and my mom gave me a whole lecture about its called macaroni. macaroni and gravy. now she never called it gravy, she called it sauce. but i wont get inot that. but as adult i realized adults said pasta and went with that. well according to her only yuppies say that. i said ok mom. i was going to ask... whats the matter? nothing to yell at me about? geez already
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
oh btw i wont throw any stones about the snakie the snake. you know why? cuz i had a series (yes they kept dying b/c my bother kept killing them..) of gold fish named... goldy. yep.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

I see nothing wrong with wanting an ipad. One of my coworkers bribed her husband for one. She loves it. I think they are great. And, if your laptop is dead, what a great reason to get an ipad.

 

My kids never asked about the toilet. We had to consistently expose them to bathroom stuff, and the usual reinforcements were used. We were consistent, but without a lot of pressure. It worked well, although I think I hate pull ups the most, as they seemed to make the process harder than just wearing big kid underwear. The wet feeling is disliked by most of them and that feeling motivates.

 

If you see no signs of interest at night in toilet training she is probably too young yet. My girls got serious into it around 2.5. Before that it was so hit or miss.

 

Sippys and bottles all pass away. Sippys slowly, although the built in straw cups helped move them away from sippy cups. Heck, even I like sippy cups. they are kind of cool. Pearl was started by JA, if I am correct, as an eventual successor to JA. I can see questions from both sites by logging into JA, and they have subscriptions.

 

I think that you are losing the house a bit soon in this scenario...if the world was run on what "might happen" we all would be dead. I know it is scary, but I can't encourage you to think about anything until the facts are in. I hate to keep parroting that line, but it is the best course of action. Wait and see. Plus, even within the possibilities of you not going to work as you are, there are other choices. So, sadly, as much as I hate to say this, you have to wait. So before you have yourself on skid row and eating out of trash cans, wait it out.

 

Sometimes, in my opinion, it is better to settle a strike than to do what ConEd is doing right now. People will get hurt. The expertise is not there and you are so right. Wearing business casual for years, people lose skills. And no look at what happened. By the way, remind me again not to mess with your father, ever. Pulled the guy out my the shoulders? Do you know how strong you would need to be to dead lift that kind of weight? The man must have been incredible back in the day.

 

Really? Mom is willing to start an argument about what "pasta" is called. (It is called pasta, right?. Most people call it that .Of course, we just called it noodles here, us primitive Germans. ) But in this situation you can see what she is doing, and how far she is willing to go just to keep the tension up. She is so used to this pattern that she has to reach for anything to comment on. And, you wonder why you feel so rejected...she rejects based on anything, so at least see that this is not you. It is her, plain as can be. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok, so howd she bribe her husband? i have to ask..
i cant use sex or my body. one cuz i cant have sex.. and 2 well the bod is not looking so great these days. i was sitting yest and well i could see my tummy. and i was like oh crap. crap crap. and i didnt eat all day i was starving when we went to dinner. i can only eat so much at once.. usually im burned out with salad and bread. and soemhow i can eat half a dessert. i know. i shouldnt but that s what i ate for dinner. really nice salad, 2 stuffed mushrooms and 2 bread sticks and then half a dessert. this lemon cream cake that reminds me of summer... i know my grandmother or my mother didnt make it.. it was soemone else.. but its good. i have to fin a recipe. maybe i shouldnt now that i think of it.


kate knows about the potty. she says mommy or daddys or pop pop or whoevers on the potty and shes a careful observer of me. she does the requisite ew... dirty. i tell her it is dirty but it ok and normal. but i think soemone makes her feel bad about it soemwhere along the line. kate is 2 and 3 months old.


look if i cant get clearance form an ob. then what? if the hosp asks for it. i am up shits creek. i have 10 weeks left until i lose my job. so seriously what am i supposed to think? either way i will be pushing both this perineonatologist and the ob.


my dad was a power lifter. he stopped b/c he got really bad ulcerative colitis. my mom didnt like that stuff - the power lifting. but he did it. my dad used to take me to the gym every day and there wasnt any ladies room b/c women didnt work out there it was a strictly mens weight gym. it was all cops and firemen and ems and they were some scary mother f**kers. i used to draw them pictures. seriously. id sit on the floor and draw them pictures. prob of them with needles in their arms shooting up roids. my dad got strong but not super big, and i see pics today of him then and you could see he didnt use roids. although when i got older i wondered if he did. but my dad always was the guy who told my brother and the boys his age a little older, younger the boys on the little league teams how you could really hurt yourself. kidney failure is usually what he used to tell them. you want to be on f**king dialysis? i think it scared kids straight. my dad likes to give advice. even if you didnt even ask for it. hes usually street smart advice. or like ways of the world and hard knock stuff.

anyway i think it was fear/ adrenaline that scared my dad that pulled the other guy out seriously. the flash hit my dad standing outside the hole and my dad said all he could see were flames and he knew tank was in that ball of flames. so he grabbed him trying to save him. my dad has a f**ked up sense of humor and said tank came out blacker than when he went in and tank laughed. tank said no he was the same color as when he went and my dad said no i dont think so....

i susually have people regaling me of stories of my dad when we meet all the guys hes worked with/ trained, or saved from fired/ write up etc.

one of my dads best stories is from when it was the 80s and this guy was driving the truck drunk. he hit a car and injured but didnt kill anyone. so the bosses were fuming (who can blame them) and went in to fire him. my dad worked his magic and actually got them down to a weeks suspension. the guy still wanted less and one of the bosses said fine.. forget it. wel just leave it as a write up or whatever. no suspension. my dad said no we want one day suspension. the guy and the bosses were confused but gave it. the guy was pissed and was like i was almost out of there. and it clicked when my dad said he wnated the one day. he wanted the guy to get the one day b/c if there was a lawsuit or a complaint or whatever, the guy was'disciplined' and they wouldnt be able to take further action on the guy..

my dads also fallen 3 stories once but that s a story for another day..

you could poke my dad and do whatever you like... hes not the brick shithouse he used to be. but he is as big as my fridge. i have the biggest fridge on the market and my dad can total eclipse it. rob and i saw it after we had the kitchen done and my dad was standing in front of the fridge and i said to rob is he fully blocking the fridge except the top corners? and rob said yeah... and my dad said i like this fridge. its the french doors with the freezer on the bottom...fits a ton of food. im spoiled with that.

anyway i think its the grandma lifts car to save 2 yr old type of story...


the whole conversation was so stupid i was going to ask her.. like are you retarded?

and i got lectured about kate not pooping. b/c kat ehad a hard time at my parents house. oh she was so misearable and shes juts a sweet baby.. i said i know mom. i didnt want her to be constipated. geez ive been dealing with her crying and holding her all freaking day. plus the cleaning of the poop. thx.

well german have the egg noodles.. i make them with brats and german style stuff... but egg noodles are different than semolina pasta and sauce... ur wife makes sauce right?

here is an authentic 20 min italian tomato sauce.

xtra virgin olive oil. to coat the bottom of the pot your using. thinly. i just eye ball it honestly.

i like a stainless steel pot - i hate non stick pots and pans. once the oil is heated for 3 or 4 minutes add below

chopped garlic. not chopped garlic in a jar. thats awful. real chopped garlic. you can but real chopped if you hate doing it (like i do..) or some places have the organic tubes of spices and stuff. like garlic paste... if you dont know or dont have it by you just chop one whole garlic. its 6 cloves or whatever in one.

onion. sweet onion. i use vidalia. 1 medium. or not all of a large one :)

do not burn your garlic. if you do, its over. put the pot in the dishwasher and pray the burnt garlic comes out. it has ruined pots. the smell never leaves them. so sautee the garlic and onion tild you see the onion start to become transluscent and you see its cooked. like4 or 5 min on medium to low heat once thats done add below

contadina tomatoes - 2 cans crushed tomato.

and contadina 2 cans tomato paste. plain.

stir. mix it all well so the oil and the tomatoes all integrate.

put it on low, stir every 5 min.

after 20 min or so.. youre ready.

add salt and pepper to taste..

and your sauce is ready.

add grated pecorino or parmesean. i usually let everyone put cheese as they like. a little alot or none.

you can thank me tomorrow. this can be used for pizza, for any type of pasta (not egg noodles) and can be used for things italians dont make like chicken cutlet parmesean.

also a good basic sauce to put on meatballs. just try this once and i promise, everyone i tell how to make this thanks me. and its much cheaper than in a jar and tastes a whole lot fresher and cleaner.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for the sauce recipe. I will try it. It does not sound hard at all. My wife's mother is not Italian, but thinks she should be so she makes sauce as well as my BIL who is studying to open a restaurant. He makes (many) sauce(s) too. But truthfully I appreciate the easy recipe as they seem to take hours and hours to do theirs, sweeten that, sour this, etc. By the time its all over the kitchen is a mess and I have lost my appetite.

 

I forget exactly how the lady I work with bribed her husband. I think she covered something or other for him. She is pregnant too, with a high risk pregnancy, so no sex as motivation either.

 

Don't tell me you have a LG refrigerator, the huge French door one with the bottom freezer, cause we do too. And, if your father is as big as that, and it is huge, that is a big man. Powerlifter with you at the gym? Wow, I can hardly imagine that, as a little girl in a sweaty, nasty gym is an odd picture. But I have to admit, having to share the bathroom with them is probably the scariest part of the whole thing. Your dad sounds really funny. Now I know where you get the sense of humor you have. It is a lot like his, circumstance based, irreverent and clever. He does sound very smart as well.

 

Kate is still a bit young for toilet training. You'll always hear from these yuppie parents who will tell you their child was toilet trained in a day, at 1.5, but don't believe it. 2.5 is where the fun begins and many do not get it until they are 3.2months. So, you're fine.

 

And, all kids get the self sourced shame thing about poop, probably a good thing. It's normal.

 

Egg noodles; yup. And they dumped sauce from a jar on that. Awful. I used to hate noodles with sauce because of it. Germans cannot cook Italian, at all. I never knew spaghetti could taste good until I met my wife.

 

What are you supposed to think? You have one day. Today. What you know today is not bad news, actually good news that you are no longer bleeding. You probably just needed a break. And, I doubt, really doubt that you will be restricted to bedrest. You may have restrictions on working like horse, hence a desk job adaptation, but take that as it comes. I know...you want to know and it is hard not to think catastrophe. But, 90% of what we fear never takes place. And I can hear you thinking now...but I am that 10%! I am! You're not. Relax.

 

We need a new thread. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
yeah when the sauce is simmering put a top on it so there arent little specks of sauce everywhere... like in my white kitchen. yeah. white. i picked it so its all my fault. as far as im concerned though... a dirty kitchen looks dirty whethers white or dark wood, when you look you see it. sorry. i know thats bitchy but its the truth. if the tomatoes are acidic - soemtimes happens.. i add a teaspoon of sugar. stir well and taste. you cant add usgar forever otherwise you end up with this really sweet sauce and thats crazy - although some people like it. the next way is to add melted butter to tame the sauce, but thats more advanced. i would just try to add the sugar. i dont usually go as far as the butter thing.
anyway that sauce is a priceless staple.

when you make the reg pasta - whatever it is - make sure theres alot of water. if they stick its b/c you dont have enough water. and pls dont put olive oil on it or in the water to try to cheat. then the sauce doesnt adhere. i hate that and all you taste is oil. yuck.

get a huge tall stockpot. one used for soup. or get the all clad tall stockpot. if you have a williams sonoma outlet they go on sale there. thats how i got mine. yes i have all all clad. and yes. i love it. loooove it.

and they look so pretty on ym stove. and i get lots of compliments from people over them.

oh and any frozen stuffed pasta should not be boiled at a high rate of boil. otherwise they break. and they shouldnt be tossed you should use a big slotted spoon to start rescuing them out of the water. and make sure a good amt of salt is in teh pasta water.

my husband likes it and his mom cant cook, ive taught her how to make things as the dad used to cook every night.

btw the sauce is to simmer for 20 min. it can go a little longer if you keep stirring or lower it, but i t needs the 20 min.


my husband has been trying to get me to give him oral sex. i told him forget it. leave me alone.

i mean thats why i got married. so i dont have to give oral sex.

no seriously


we have the samsung. it 4 yrs ago boasted to have the most space inside 25.5 cubic feet or some crap. it was the one appliance rob picked out. i wanted a kitchenaid.. but he wnated it. and i picekd the cabinetry and the counter tops and the stove with the double oven and 5 burners and convection, and the over head range.. plus the dishwasher.. i got electrolux. i also picked the washer dryer. and the cars... and the colors the house was painted.. so ill shut up now.


my dad would go into the gym bathroom, throw everyone out, carry me in an d throw me in the stall. and until i was done no one could come in.

i had to pee. :)

and i was his bodyguard. he used to tell people that. im here with my bodyguard. this pale blonde little girl - like kate - tiny with this huge guy.

i protected him though.

i could kick a mean ankle.

he used to carry me on his shoulders and say duck. he carries kate everywhere. my grandma (yes the one who just died) told me thjat she thought i would never learn to walk b/c my dad carried me everywhere. but my dad said it was too hard on his back to lean over and i was very light. im sure he thinks the same of kate. he told me he has kate fetch things off the floor so he doesnt have to bend. i believe it

my dad will be the 1st to tell you he was left back in the 1st grade. in catholic school.. i asked him why once long ago and he said i failed playground. i think it had to do with reading/ spelling. my dad is not the best at that. he doesnt appear dyslexic.. but he does have a hard time spelling. he reads the papers and reads books alot though, magazines. he likes to read. he has alot of that and asks often for his birthday or christmas stuff like that. but its usually like how to buy and flip houses and money making strategies. like rich dad poor dad.

anyway. german food is awesome. wiener schniztzel and sauerbraten and spaetzel and brats and knockwurst and we have the best german restaurant here in queens. i know penn dutch is really good too. fantastic food there. now i want german food.

rob? roooob... rob? i want...

gos maybe i should make him take me tomorrow. or meet him in queens with the minivan and he takes the train. all the old people can speak to kate in german and i can stuff my face. thats the sucky thing with this preg. i cant eat alot. its like i finally get what i want and either i cant eat it. soemthing turns me off. a smell a sight.. or if i get it.. i eat and then im like sorry im full. and then i feel guilty but i cant eat that much. ohh sauerkraut...


i dont want any restrictions. just throw me back to the wolves. its safer that way. they cant force me to change my shift or whatever. ill tell teh girls i have blood clot. what are they going tio say. its weird cuz when i had the elongated pt ptt and i said im not going til the next blood draw i was worried id go into dic. preg women are more prone to it, but i figured id see what the next one said... and here i am with this blood clot. very strange. im going to ask them if the babys going to live just balls out. i need to know. ill be heartbroken i wont have my christmas baby but.. what can i say? i was thinking of taking an asa per day to see if that help it move along.. but they didnt say to so i havent.

anyway yes i am the 10%. i finally get preg and this crap happens. i couldnt just have a normal preg? really? wtf.


hey do you have a needle?

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Well, my kitchen has blue counters and honey oak cabinets and it looks splashy all the time too. And sauce: everywhere, lid or not. You just cannot contain that stuff. You sound passionate about your cookware. I have no idea what is really in my kitchen as far as pots and pans. We have some ceramic coated iron stuff and some stainless restaurant style pots, but the rest seems pretty ordinary. I am a great microwave user. (lol) although I can make shrimp scampi very well. The rest of it is hit or miss.

 

I am not sure what to tell you about your sexual life. I am sure there are alternatives. You just have to use your imagination.

 

You sound like you have nice stuff. But if your father is as big as a 24 cubic foot fridge, that is a big guy...and the fridge colds a lot of sauce, that is for sure! I like how you talk about your father. He sounds very nice. And, keeping you safe; he seemed to do a great job of that when you were little. Plus, I like his sense of humor.

 

German food is awesome, but as I was raised within a first generation German family I have had too much of it. It is great, don't get me wrong, and the baking especially is out of this world, but too many years of it has made it feel too ordinary to me. I much prefer other nationalities cooking at this point, and I have developed a thing for Asian food of all types, but Japanese is a favorite.

 

You definitely have it bad with the pregnancy food thing. Ich möchte Deutsch Lebensmittel!! (I want German food!)

 

I still strongly feel that this will work out. The baby's health was not an issue as long as you got some rest. And, you did. Plus you were told the clot would absorb. Although you feel that you are the 10% that always gets the short end of the stick, take heart. And, be positive. What we speak sometimes comes to be, so speak well of this situation.

 

We need a new question/posting. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
oh your kicthen sounds like the house in the poconos my in laws used to borrow of a friend of theirs. it was blue with the oak cabinets. it felt very country.. it wasnt huge even though the house was pretty big but it was useful.
i feel like our house is country. its not its suburban as rob corrects me. b ut to me this is country.


this weekend make the sauce for your wife. dotn tell her where you got the recipe. in fact you could go out in the garage for a few hrs and tell her stay out of the kitchen and then pretend you were in there slaving away.

or invite your bil over and see what he thinks of it.... its authentic. g ma taught me.

make sure your a/c is on i hate eating pasta and its too hot out. seriously.


there are def alternatives. me sleeping and him leaving me the f**k alone. im sorry but hes given me 3 difficult preg. so... im doing the best i can with giving him children. but he cant deny kate is the greatest little thing ever. i realized shes.. witty.

anyway im bleddign again pretty good. i got up and rob was there getting dressed and i couldnt wait so he let me in and he saw too. he was like i guess youre bleeding again? i said yeah. he came and kissed me goodbye. and i soemhow got kate to go back to sleep.



yeah my bro was born and.. my mother pressured him alot that he wasnt involved in stephen enough. so.. he did get mor einvolved with stephen. and stephen had little league from 4 yrs old and he just seemed more focused on him. i remember hearing them arguing alot about that. that my mom thought he didnt care about the baby. so i think my dad felt guilty. so he kind of replaced me with him. she wasnt interested in me. so there i was. really just a problem. in the way. a source of tension,. i rememeber i didnt sleep well and id be up all day and most of the night an d i would read tghe same books over and over.. i was a fast reader - or i just spent so much time reading. and my mom didnt let me go out to play much i remember. until she could let stephen. so i was stuck on stephens level. i went to bed the same time too 830. it would be sunny out in the summer and the kids would be playing and id look out the window. and theyd be playing. i remember getting caught looking out the window and her yelling and hitting me. but it was sunny out. like bright sunny. my dad wasnt home he was at work. id watch cheers XXXXX XXXXX mets and id even watch jay leno and david letterman. id be awake and my dad would come home like 130am or so, soemtimes 3 or 4am. i usually slept from 2 til 6 or whatevre time i had to get up.


i had the strangest dream last night. i came downstairs (this is true) and my neighbors were having a party. they were talking loud - i had the windows open, since the a/c in the bedroom was on and i didnt want to run both of them. so i hadnt heard them while in the bedroom, but now im downstairs closer to the backyard and im pissed that its almost 3am and theyre laughing and cursing and being stupid. so im trying to calm down and lay down on the couch. our mattress is so bad my hip and back hurts really bad after a few hrs and i have to get up. plus were too crowded on the bed so it gives rob and kate more room. this is why i want a mattress. anyway i guess i fell asleep. so this is the dream now. i went to the backyard to confront them. and its not my next door neighbors. so i keep going thru the backyards and i see multiple people are having parties and its all lit up like its asecret hangout for the neighborhood. so i see people i dont really know but i know live in different houses. well it turns out they have friends who are.. wait for it... ron white..? and the other guy who says heres your sign.. his buddy. so theyre hanging and i dont realize its them yet. so im like wtf is going on out here? its 3am on a thursday night. are we in the ghetto? so the guys ar elike calm down have a drink, relax. so im like whatever. so i see people just hanging and drinking and talking and laughing. so im like i cant drink im preg. so theyre like you are (see how this is a dream?) so im like yeah im 5 months preg. so either way.. one thing leads to another and i have sex with ron white. yep. and he likes the preg thing. i woke up and looked outside it was like 5am and the party broke up.. it was quiet outside and i felt like going over there and ringing their dorrbell multiple times. having taxis come.. to honk and stuff since theyre funny. i mean now im awake so why shouldnt they be? that really pissed me off. they totally dont make enough money to live here so i know theyre only going to be here so long...

so hows that for a weird dream?


oh my god i love german baking. strudel. come on. thats nolt bad food to be raised with. it could be worse. it could be irish. and i say that seriously.

i wouldnt mind that italian cream cake right now. i love it. i havent had it in years. maybe i could get rob to get it. ugh. then hell be like can i have a blow job... sigh. do i want the cake that much? i have to think about it. yeah no im not kidding. if i get him to buy a whole cake.. that might be worth it, cuz then ill have it for a f ew days and him and kate ate all of mine practically while they were waiting for his cobbler thing he got. and i didnt want that he got the peach cobbler thing and kate liked it too. i dotn like peach. yucky.


anyway i am totally the whatever freaking percent who get screwed.

ugh not to whine but i hate setting up new accounts. it sux. and then i have to think up so slinky name that fits me...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
btw.. wheres tmm1? i mean i hope hes not dead.. or in my bushes.. soemwhere in between you know? but really where is he? he hasnt tried to contact me for a while.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

TMM? Maybe the heat got him? Don't worry; like flu season he will come around.

Are you okay? You told me that you were not doing well. Still bleeding or better?

Our home is country looking, sort of a country looking Williamsburg combination. And, I made your sauce. It certainly is easy as fast and it tastes good. I made two versions, one with some sugar and one without. The one without was better. I fed both to my kids and wife. All liked it, except nicole who would not eat anything last night, just because.

My brother in law should be here soon. I will let the bil chef taste it. We will see what he says. I am sure he will like it.

Your childhood restriction are very common in families who have control issues, in this case your mother. The results are usually the same each time, insecurity, feeling uncertain about what to do or not do and an achy loneliness that sometimes is there and sometimes not. The isolation made your reading skills really good so I am not surprised to see how intellectual you can be.

Your neighbors sound so fun; 3am and talking loud and cursing? What on earth are they thinking? I know they are not and that is the issue, but really...that is terrible. Don't the other neighbors complain?

Ron White; the comedian? A sex dream. Well,if that doesn't settle it that you are having a boy I don't know. Wow, weird dream. I could interpret it, but the whole think about your life being exposed to others and sadly comical does not sound too good. I think I will pass.

Yup, Irish trumps most stuff, unless you ever have had anything norwegian. That stuff is really gross. Cold fish and broth for breakfast? No way! But, I have some Irish in me, a little on my father's side. Baney was the name. And from what I gather I am not missing a thing food wise.

Cake and sex? Could be worse...Might be a good deal. lol

You have to set up a new account? I just wanted you to set up a new question. Steven

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hey steve.
im glad you tried the sauce. im surprised so quickly too.... i only put sugar if i taste the tomatoes are super acidic. after the cooking is done - i taste it prior to salt and pepper. and if i get that ohh acidic i drop a teaspoon stir and retaste. usually that s enought to take the edge off. if theyre in real trouble like seriously a bad batch you can do the half a stick of melted butter (unsalted) and usually that will def kill it - the acidity. so now you know. did you use the contadina? i love them. theyre so well done.


im so glad you liked it. everyone i give it to is like holy crap this has saved our lived. you know why? you make 2 batches - just double everything and you freeze the other half. then if you decide lets make apizza. you have it. or i forgot to defrost soemthing, you pull it out throw it in the pot, and start defrosting it and start boiling water and stuff... if you picked up an italian bread and have the grated cheese on hand youre set.

ok i can give you another fast easy recipe that kills. and again everyone likes it

buy a perdue chicken - the oven stuffer. not soem scraggly little half starved chicken. i hate them.

ok so you take that out of the package, wash it off, and pull the bag out of the butt. rinse inside til the water is clear. theres going to be blood. make sure you defrost this thing good. if the bag is frozen in there still its a pain in the ass. (ha ha literally.. for the chicken too)

ok so have a greased roasting pan - disposeable is fine, i usually use them. i use non stick spray.

plop the chicken in there. dry it off like you dried off the kids after a bath.

you can soften - not melted butter - and smear it all over the chicken legs wings. everything. thickly. i use 2 sticks - this can be salted butter.

then have coarse salt - i like kosher and fresh ground peper all over this bad boy. and again put it thick as the butter melts it will all start coming off but will leave soem on it.

put it in the oven at 325 for 90 minutes. it can be uncovered. either by then the timer will have popped... if not wait 10 min and keep checking. take it out after it pops, and let it rest at leats 10 minutes. carve that up.. and you have a great chicken. its so juicy and perfect its not funny. and then the next day you can use the chicken torn up - if theres any left - for chicken salad - or that show i roast a chicken for soup...

people love that recipe too. esp ones who hate white meat and then see how great this comes out...

ok variation. you can roast garlic, and put the butter and smear the roasted garlic on the chicken.. rob really likes that.


oh def let me know what bil says. i am curious. i hate to say it but they prob make things overly complicated and things can be fast and good too. ..

my dad is picketing today.. we called to see if he needed to be bailed out.. he said no not yet ...(well see. you never know.. i told my mom to keep about 1k handy just in case...)

rob said tell your dad to go to home depot.. pick up soem guys and the union guys could pay the mexican home depot guys to picket for them.

rob has a strange sense of humor... my dad laughed though.

i called my parents yest, i asked my mom who does not have a/c other than her bedroom, if she wanted to coem over since t will be hideous out. i told her tell dad to come after hes done picketing, well bbq and you can play with the baby, we can sit outside etc. i got a big fat no.

she said shell stay in the bedroom thanks.

now seriously steven am i crazy? and rob said i got $20 she didnt tell your dad that you invited her.. i said yeah i know.

rob and i also got inot - well i expressed my concern that one day my mom will turn on kate - the only good thing is that shes pretty transparent.. rob said.. yeah ive been worrying about that too.. i said since when? he said since the 1st day i dropped her off at 6 weeks old. he said and then she will never see her again. he said if i get any f**king hint that shes being mean to kate.. he said its over. i said ok rob.

wow.


were you surprised by the story of my dad and brother? i felt like.. it was like she was looking for a way to break up the relationship between me and my dad.... she did a pretty good job. i dotn think were as close as we couldve been really.


my reading is good.. but i always read like kids readers. like the babysitters club. nancy drew, sweet valley high. stupid crap. stuff that made me feel like i was a kid with friends and adventures. i had soem friends, we didnt have any adventures really thats for sure., esp at 12.


yeah.. i mean ive seen ron white on comedy central.. i do think hes funny... but ive never seen him live or anything.. he def seems like a f**k em and leave em guy..9i mean thats ok.. im married.. so i need them to leave...i dotn want anyone too attached. i told that to nurses here at this hosp one night... i was like if youre gonna cheat you can only cheat with married men. that way... they have soemthing to lose too. you dont want anyone to have anything on you.. bully nurse was howling laughing said youre so right liz... am i bad influence?)

so why does that confirm im having a boy? b/c ron whites a pig?

and was that your interpretation? im exposed and sadly comical? yeah i guess.

whats weird is im def not in the mood, so why the sex dream? and i cant have sex anyway.


so... dont eat at the norwegian place in epcot. its freaking cold salmon and the head cheese platter. the only bad thing.. although your girls are older... is theres a really nice princess breakfast or dinner- soemthing there. really nice. but its the norwegian food. and i was like forget that. ill see the stupid princesses soemwhere else.


yes i need a whole new freaking account. i have been busted by the ja police. they have turned my account into the click accept and pay for each question again. if i stay on this thread its free. ill set up a new one and tell you. either tonight or tommorow.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

I wanted to try the sauce, just because I was in the mood for Italian. My bil liked it, but I think I need to use Contadina, not Huntz. It was a tad zingy. And, my bil often will with hold praise if it is too simple, just because real cooking is supposed to be hard in their world.

Well, I did not have the sauce recipe, but I was roasting chickens just like that for a number of years; good isn't it. Today I am making beer butt chicken, and I hope you know what that is. My favorite chicken recipe.

I love Rob' sense of humor. And, you could say that Con Ed is being discriminatory. Snap a picture of the picket lines with all the home depot crew replacements and then send it to labor relations. Fun

With your mom, no you are not crazy. She is, and I too feel that either kate will become you reincarnated or she will love her to death in compensation for how she treats you, yet will have no insight how or why she is doing it. I am not sure if I was surprised about your father and what mom did, but she is manipulative in a very hurtful way; very...She is one of those who has no insight however. And that is the scariest part.

Reading is not what you read but how much. Escapism is why most read anyway and you will find that common in most emotionally and physically abused kids. You did develop higher functioning as a result, so at least something decent came out of all that restriction.

No, not because Ron White is a pig is the baby suspected to be a boy. (Really, should I and all men be insulted by that comment?) It's the weird sex dreams that usually show up right about now in boy pregnancies.That is my thought anyway. Testosterone in women does not always give increased sex drive, but it may give some wild dreams.

Let me know when you set up the new account. Steven

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi steve. rob is going to set up a new account..
oh god dont use huntz sauce.. ew. pls but the contadina. then let bil try it. i hat e when all these non italian sauces try to make it tialian by dumping a ton of oregano in stuff. my mil made ragu and i tasted it and i almost threw up. i taught her the sauce long ago and she still freaking uses ragu. i tol d her just tell me and ill bring sauce.

she doesnt tell me and i still want to vomit. ragu is just wrong.


rob said soemthing funny i kept forgetting to tell you. i told him that dr b said that me and him could get married b/c he eats the orange and yellow starburst and i eat the pink and red.. so he looked at me and said what d the guy get pussy once with that line in high school and hes still trying to use it?

i almost snorted. rob didnt seem concerned anyone was trying to marry me though. wtf is that?


i think my mom will just love her. it hought from the beginning when kate was born she really wouldnt be interested as my mom has said... i dont like kids. hmm.

ok, so even my dad i cant believe how much mommy loves the baby. i said nothing.. b/c what am i to say? but i dont think she was ever like that to me. i dotn ever rememeber loving caresses or comforting gestures as a small child. i try to incorporate that for kate when shes upset and even when shes not... i stroke kates cheek and forehead til she falls asleep for no good reason. i want her to rememeber feeling i guess... babyed.


higher functioning? yeah not sure about that.


i didnt say all men were pigs. relax.

i guess about the testosterone thing. well see i find out tuesday. i keep having the fear that theyre going to tell me soemthing bad then.

i will copy paste this for the new account once rob has it up and running.


we went shopping today. i walked not that much but the heat was unbearable. i couldnt take it. but it was outlet shopping. rob got nothing (shocker right?: but i did buy him shirts this past week.. and he refused to go for sneakers saying his sneakers are ok..) kat ethe darling was running up to every outfit in gymboree showing rob look daddy i love it. its beautiful. and rob said congrats liz... its a shopper.

so kate lucked out as ususal and got the bulk of the stuff.

so after we go out to dinner. so we start dinner literally 5pm. thats not late is it? anyway kates doing well until about 610. so she takes the menu that stands with 3 sides and pictures and takes all the papers off and now its just a black triangular thing. so kate says. to rob looking thru it. its a telescope. so he says oh yeah (hes trying to eat a cannoli) im trying not to throw up even though i only had a salad..

then she puts it to her mouth and says its a microphone..

then she turns it on its side.. and says its a house

then she puts on her head and says its ahat.

i was laughing at soem of it b/c yes it was cute. and i thought she was funny. i know there are peopole who think their kids are precious but she was yelling /c rying it was like i colored and i refused to eat and now im bored..

well these 2 older people who literally came in right before the menu thing said you shouldnt laugh at her.. (rob is walking kate now by the fountain she had been begging to see it)

youre encouraging her to be bad.


well steven she says this after my husband walks away? why? cuz shes afraid of what hell say right? its awfully convenient that she says this at that moment. i was cloeaning up and i put the menu back together and picked up a few things kate threw on the floor.

so i said to her lady youre lucky i have 2 strikes, otherwise id be all over you right now. she didnt say another word and we paid and left. rob doesnt know anything and is like is soemthing wrong. so i tell him. and he says you said that? i said yeah. so he starts laughing and says wow liz.

well i mean i didnt slap the woman. i mean it couldve been worse you know.

i as kind of pissed steven. i didnt kate was so out of line. and theres other kids there. some screaming. and its not my kate. so littler than her some bigger. so i didnt take her to a sat nigh romantic italian rest and ruin everyone s night.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi steven, rob didnt have a chance to start a new account last night.. so ill open up a new question onto the boards for us...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Ok...looking for new question. I will try the Contadina. I actually want to as for some reason I am into sauces this week.

Rob might be funny, but you have the record with the two strike comment. I nearly spit my drink on that one. That was funny. And, the more kids you have the more people seem to feel that they can say something to you about your parenting skills. And, it says a huge amount about her that she waited until Rob left to say something.

People like this are too common. She was probably from Pennsylvania. That pattern seems rampant here. I am sure you ruined nothing. Kate was acting as a 2 year old acts and was being creative, not bad. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
oh you liked the 2 strike comment?
rob did too. wtf is that? why dotn you say it to my husbands face? her old man husband was there. he couldve (no way) defended her old ass.

i mean look dont have your mouth write checks your body cant cash. (yes yes i think thats from a tom cruise movie. i dotn like him but i do think thats a funny line)

i onlky have the one kid and the other thats showing.. i dotn see the point as you could see we were having dessert. kates meal came with ice cream which she even basically refused to eat. she wouldnt eat pizza or ice cream. so then she kept pointing at the water feature and i told rob take her over and ill clean up. kate threw a lemon wedge on teh floor along with like a breadstick. and everywhere we go were told were the only people who clean up the floor. i mean i cant vaccum, but they shouldnt pick up that stuff. thats kate being unruly. and not their job. and of course fixing the menu. .. so i did it.

ive never had anyone say anything to me about kate. except once when i was preg with t he last one and it was winter i ran out and forgot kates hat. but i had to get to the lab for my glucose test and i didnt realize til we were there. so some ladys like the baby should have a hat. i was yes i know.. i had a hard time with that preg with kate being so little and all the responsibilities at the time.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.
Rude is as rude does. That isn't exactly Forest Gump, but you get the drift. And yes...that was, I think, your funniest line ever. Steven

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