It sounds like you have been changing how you see him and have started to think about your relationship in a different light. By seeing his actions for what they are and how he tries to manipulate you, you have gained the insight you need to change your own behavior.
You may be starting to move away from the relationship. At this point you are testing out actions as an individual instead of a couple. That includes not looking for his opinion or approval on what you do. It is a good sign that you are seeing yourself more as apart from him.
He may be scared that you are no longer dependent on him. He is probably used to having control over you and may sense he is losing it, so he is acting strange by searching for evidence that you are with someone else or not sitting near you for some of the time when you were out. He probably cannot find an explanation for what you are doing so without asking you he is trying to figure it out.
If you keep working on moving further and further away from him, you may find one day that you no longer wish to be in the relationship. It may take time but that is ok. As long as you keep working towards getting out of the relationship, then you are on the right path.