Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
I can see how frustrating and uncomfortable this is and I can also agree that the communication does not need to be what it is. Clearly there are ways to set up communication regarding the children but this seems a bit excessive and some new boundaries around it need to be set.
are you here with me?
I think the next logical thing to do is more than talk...sit down and come up with the more appropriate boundaries around this and what will help you to feel okay about their necessary contact and then put those things in place.
she tells you she will do the things but then doesnt follow through and this needs to be looked at.
and if she continues to hear your feelings and needs around this I might suggest some counseling for the tow of you to see why the lack of respect for your feelings exists.
let me know you are here with me so I can help you.
I am hoping there aren't technical issues here in the chat which can happen sometimes. I am here.
are you here?
If I dont hear from you I will switch to Q and A mode on the assumption that there are some tech issues preventing you from responding here in chat.
Thank you for coming back...so yes. We had a discussion this morning where she states she is aware that our communication needs improvement and certainly she communicates with the Ex more than me during any given week, but swears it is only and specifically related to the kids and their needs.
On her side, she feels that I need to talk to her more like a friend, which I am willing to continue to work on for our marriage. However, she has been married twice before. Once young, and once to the children that we have everyother week. My concern is when she points out that she forced the marriage without addressing what apparently she feels is an ongoing issue with the difference between the communication we have and that maintained with her Ex. We do not disagree that our communication needs help, but her drifting to points of maybe she is not the one, concerns me in two ways. 1) it does not invalidate the actions she has done with regard to interactions with her EX and how she treats me 2) Me putting anymore effort into a relationship that she has a tendancy to feel comfortable bringing up she is not for me in the context of divorce, weem like an act of futility for my commited efforts and loyalty to my marriage. How do I move forward are the options I am seeking
I think that is a fair approach coachjenk...frustrated, tired, and occationaly angry. I position I put myself into, but have been forced back into what I call the corner of decision. Decision regarding whether her assertion that she will be friends with her EX for "the children" is an excuse for not addressing our issues, and certainly not bring up "not being the one for me".