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Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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My husband us considering leaving our 29 yr marriage, but has

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My husband us considering leaving our 29 yr marriage, but has agreed to couples counselling. How do I find one that will work on saving our marriage?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about your situation. Marital problems happen in every marriage but when divorce appears as an option, it shows serious issues are present and necessary profesisonal help becomes evident.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Finding a good psychotherapist or counselor is nit easy most of the time, and finding a good match is even harder. You need to take into account the professional's education, expertise, psychotherapeutic approach, personality, maturity and empathy. This requires from people to take time to ask for referrals at hospitals, clinics, health professionals and friends, make several phone calls in order to get a first impression and information on previous factors, for you to decide if it is worthy to schedule an initial interview to see if such professional could offer what you need and expect from therapy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When discussing the psychological - therapeutic approach you need to make it clear both understand the professionals knows about your worldview, core values and belief, and you feel comfortable with their approach too. A good ethical professional would have total respect and understanding about your individuality. For example some people identify themselves as active Catholics and would not feel comfortable nor open to work with a therapist who does limit his or her practice to agnostic worldview.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Some people do make it clear they want a "Christian" counselor, which we call "pastoral counseling, which differentiates from professional counseling, where the therapist cannot take a personal worldview and impose or influence the client based on it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Some times you could feel fine with certain approach but not comfortable with the therapist's personality, or their interventions are too passive or too focused on behavior instead of working on understanding and solving core issues promoting insight and from there concrete changes.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please, do take the time to contact several therapist by phone and interview at least 2 or three for you to have higher chances of a good match. I do recommend a marriage and family therapist, as the best prepared for this issues, with an integral or an eclectic approach to therapy, which includes the use of humanistic and cognitive-behavioral approaches.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Finally both, you and your husband need to feel equally heard and supported for it to be beneficial for the relationship. I see you got offline. Please, if you can and want to join the chat it would allow me to better support you through direct dialogue. Crisis like this happen, but with willingness to work on it with professional support could lead to real transformations for good, not only healing the marriage but promoting its fulfillment. I will be here to support you as needed on any further questions you may have.

Hello, I have been a Marriage and Family Therapist in the US for 20 years and would like to offer you a different answer for your consideration. We MFTs have the education and additional training (several years post Master's Degree) to successfully work with couples on saving their marriages. Our professional organization AAMFT offers an opportunity on our website for people to search for Marriage and Family Therapists where they live. Fortunately for you, Canada is included in our search option and there are abundant MFTs in Canada. Here is the link http://www.therapistlocator.net/iMIS15/therapistlocator/Directories/Therapist_Locator/Content/Directories/Locator_Terms_of_Use.aspx

Simply click that you accept the terms of the site and then click on Search Canada. You will be able to read detailed information about MFTs where you live. I would sit down with your husband and chose together the one the seems to fit best for you. You can rest assured that the professionals you find on this site can be trusted to truly help you save your marriage. It has been my pleasure to answer your question. Chat back if you need anything further. If you are satisfied with my answer please give me a positive rating and click on submit. I wish you and your husband all the best, XXXXX XXXXX Eleanor

Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience: Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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