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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming and shocking situation.
You said things were totally fine in your marriage but also that she did not want to file for divorce. Could you please clarify this situation?
she told my father she wanted me to get help for my anger, which I have been seeking. The last few months I have made great strides. I have been far more involved and have been showing her more attention. She wanted to leave for a short time so I can see what it would be like if she divorced me. She told my father that. Now her sisters are involved and she filed for dissolution of marriage on friday. She said my mother was her mother and she admired house close my family was, becuase her mother left when she was a child and she was raisied in a broken home with a very abusive father.
I see. thank you for clarifying. Then there have been marital issues related to your anger problems, but you were already working on that area when she decided to leave to give you time to reassess your situation and work on things, but then she decided to file for divorce because of her sisters' influence.
If there have not been any domestic violence episodes and you do not use illegal drugs or have legal problems then she would have to go back or bring back your children since legally you have the same rights as she does. It is truly frustrating to know her sisters could have such a powerful influences ion her life, but she has to hold accountability for her own decisions and the impact they have in your lives.
Right now you would have to focus on consistently showing her you care about her, your marriage and children and continue to work on your anger problems, ideally with professional support, since that seems to be the core issues justifying her decision to leave and now to want divorce.
I see you already have a first appointment scheduled and that's exactly what I mean. taking consistent action in order to show you are truly working on concrete changes because you care about your family. your attorney will support you on what needs to be done at the legal level about the restraining order and every other potential issue you need to consider ehre.
You're very welcome.
I will try everyday for as long as it takes to prove to her I have changed. However, isn't it aXXXXX If I am willing to change and get help but she isn't then whats the point? I understand for my sake I have to make positive changes
Please be consistent in your actions taking good care of yourself and showing through them how much you care and have been working for things to be different, much better for all of you. Words are secondary, now it is your actions what should show her about you, your love and responsibility to protect and take good care of them.