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It is a hard call about Rob and what he should do exactly. He is caught in the middle in a familial bad way, though not of his own making or fault by any means. I am glad to hear that Eddie and Dad talked, but again, this makes it awkward for Rob. I think if and when he has an interview with ConEd, and an offer of a job, that a long hard look at what is good and what is bad about ConEd needs to take place.
No one can decide without knowing the facts, and this circumstance is a complex dilemma, and it needs time and data to sort it all out. But, I do feel for Rob; this is a potentially difficult situation and no one wants to get stuck in the middle like this.
No, Kate is normal. This acting out is how she is prepping to deal with having a sibling, and you really do not have a significant worry here. You will guide her behaviors with the new baby and sadly she will excited, then "dethroned" and then jealous for a while, and may even regress a bit in development, but it will all come back in a few weeks, and she will excel as a sister.
The denial of what happened to "baby", and that baby "fell" is a part of Kate's normal transductive thought process. She has this odd thought pattern due to her age. She says it; then it is true...like magic. For you, you are in a world of hard reality where of course the baby did not fall; she threw it. But her reaction is totally normal and I would not give it a second thought. Sometimes older sibs pinch the new baby's toes or fingers out of jealously, but that is almost always as far as it goes. You will not have a homicidal maniac on your hands, but she will tantrum and fuss most likely as a reaction to the new baby, especially once the novelty wears off.
Imaginary friends and thoughts. She is right on time for a girl. The first cognitive stage ends at 18 months, so she is fine. She is now into full transductive thought, magical thinking, and total preoperational thought, up until age 6. Even her language is now flexible, for if she calls the driveway a river, it is, and if there is a monster with her, there is...(Bring lots of invisible monster spray with you and lots of imaginary "devices" to help control monsters. We had monster spray and monster force fields and all sorts of things, even flashlights with red cellophane that act as monster fighting/repelling lasers. Have fun with this. It is the best time of development in my opinion.)
You are funny with the sneaking out stuff. Liz. Hey, stay in the house will you? I know you want to fight this, but they are right. You had problems for a reason and even the movies is a risk. Relax. You need some time with yourself, even if you are bored.
FHA? That is good, but ask about the home inspection if needed. (not sure) FHA is a bear with electrical stuff and compliance. But that may not apply for a refinance. I think maybe I should shut up on this issue as I know enough to be dangerous, not helpful.
It is nice (as long as there is no payback) that mom sent the plates and house and hummels. I never could figure out what to do with hummels. They are sort of cute, I guess. It would seem logical to give them to a collector of them rather than someone who is casual about it. Steven
No, that does not sound good and the strike seems inevitable. Do people scab over in a strike with ConEd? I mean, the work must go on so someone has to do it. But I know that scabbing is not a popular thing, and people who do so sometimes get hurt. It is ugly.
The unions tend to take care of their own, and strike pay is why they submit all those dues, among other reasons. Your dad would get this benefit...
Kate on a strike line. Well, it is funny and cute picture, but it is also sort of surreal. "No no we won't go" will get a whole new meaning.
Well, you just about named my whole family with those choices. Emma was my grandmother's name. There are a lot of them now, and it seems to be reborn in this era. When my grandmother was named back in Germany this name was as common as Abby or Kathy. Then for about fifty years there was nothing, no emmas. Now, we see a lot of this name. The girls who have it seem small and cute. Emma and Kate do go together well as names. I do not see Emma a precious, at all. It is a good name I think.
Okay, go see Brave. If you are going to work yourself to death in the house I guess that is the lesser of the two evils. Can't you just take it easy, a little bit...sometime?
The haunted house sounds very cool. I agree about the hummels. They remind me of old people's homes and funny smells. I know that is bad to say, but they do...really.
Well, if ConEd is on strike I think that is a very legitimate excuse to take another job. I mean what is he supposed to do, wait forever until he gets a maybe interview with a company that is on strike? No way. If the private job is offered at the time ConEd is out then so be it. If Ron takes it I think he can easily save face under that circumstance. Of course you never know with people, but it sure does not seem like a bad thing to me. If ConEd appears later, okay...it would look like he resume hops, but still...this is not a common thing to get an opening in a relatively closed shop. I might take the risk, but then again, that is my opinion. You have to do what is best for Rob's career and what he can do to keep his resume stable. Steven
You do need to take it easy. What part of that is hard for you? Seriously.
Please try to take it easy. I don't want to see anything happen to you. And, a few day of being inside isn't going to kill you. You need it and the rest emotionally would do you well too.
Being a blue collar kid myself I do not have to imagine what would happen to a scab. I do not think that ConEd guys would be anything but classically union. So, the shop is going to suffer until this is over as there will not be any help and management really cannot run it all by any means.
I hope that Kate is exposed to the good side of German culture. There is a lot of it; then again, it is a lot like other European cultures, never too far from the radical stuff. But I am sure that Kate has been exposed to stuff, good and bad, that has been hidden form you. It just seems like the in law thing.
Andrew is a good strong name, and Eliza may be close to your own but it is not that much of an impact in a bad way...why don't you consider it?
You know, when people mess with names and it comes out be be something else; well, that to me is a sign that the original name was not quite right. You know. I think the Indians had it all together in names. You didn't get a name until you showed your character. That way you always were your name in actual name and in action. If only we were allowed to do that today. Today though, you have to get a SS number before you even leave the hospital. Certainly they cannot wait on a name. But I like your brothers choice of names. Of course, I am biased.
Wouldn't it be weird if the strike never happened at this point? Steven
Hi Liz: We had a death in the family, no one really close but you know the stuff involved. I will try to get to you tonight. Sorry, this was the first chance I had to even access my computer.
Although I do not have a lot of time, I did want to say:
I read your post about the "husband audit". That is always an area that usually leads to contention as it becomes a trust issue. Every couple I know who goes into this end of things comes out in a conflict, as this action is hard to stomach. He hopefully learned from this and will not do this again. You have to be, as he is, trusted. That was a wrong move on his part, for certain. It is common for men to do this, but that doesn't make it right.
And, married 22 years myself...there is never enough, no matter how you audit, crosswalk or whatever. I know he is frustrated, but this action, a quiet audit, is not the way to go. One sided investigation is a bad idea.
Talk to you later. Steven
By now, I am sure that the pace of the hospital has greatly limited the impact that could occur with this "missing" patient. If something was up, I am sure you would have heard by now through someone there. And, it is normal to feel anxious about the baby. You had a really bad past with the loss of the last baby and that has to weigh on your mind. But things look good with your health now, and as long as you take it easy things should be fine. Plus, being bored, your mind will dwell on all kinds of things. And worst case scenarios are common to think about when you have been through stress. But dwell on the positives here. You have a job and the licensing scare is over. The absence from work is covered under a doctor's restriction, and Peter can do nothing to you, angry or not (which I doubt he/they are at all).
That does suck about the lock out. But I have seen that before and even with five thousand managers, a company of that magnitude will hurt if they are not fully staffed in a few weeks. No way, even with contractors helping out are they going to get through this unscathed. The company will have to hire and the legal mess the unions can cause will make them hesitate to try to break the current organization. I suppose it is possible, but it will not be easy. However, the timing of this is good for Rob as now there is no way anyone could blame him for looking elsewhere. And you are right. If he was there now he would be in direct conflict of interest with your father, not good.
Unemployment sounds like a good idea for your father and I imagine this might make him think twice about retirement.
Oh, trust me on this one. If your mother offered to help you out with some money from the house sale, I think you could say; who are you and what have you done with my mother? Doing something so kind would not be her, at all. And, until you know if this situation is more long term, enjoy the rest. You need it.
I would not want to mess with your father. He is big; and apparently VW lifting strong. I knew a few who could do that, and all were scary. No union busting there I would say...nasty thought, that.
I forgot about that Peek a Boo thing. So, you names all fit you? That is good. So, I doubt your going to name this child anything that would be odd or something. Like Metro, which is an Italian name I understand but is rough to own up to and everyone thinks city train, not man's name. Steven is an awesome name. I think you should consider it. Then I would have to come see the baby. Steven
Why so anxious?
You have a lot of things on your mind, and you are anxious by nature, and all you have done in the last year is crazy from the pressure responses. It is no wonder, considering all that you have been through, what you feel when you encounter stress. And, just in reflection, these stressors are fairly large as well. Your overall health is a huge stress with the pregnancy fears; job concerns for you and your father are there; a new job potentially for Rob...it is an emotional roller coaster. This is a lot. Anyone would feel this way.
It is not easy to live in a strict budget, but you sound like you are more than willing to make a difference in your debt ratio by living as simply as you can. And let's face it. It is not an easy job to pay off all of this and live austerely and to have year long plans where 700 a month goes to credit card debt. I have been there too. But I also find it funny that Rob was unable to find any holes in your spending plan. Maybe you should audit him, instead, lol
You guys really pack in the excitement...medical appointment that determines your job future and Rob in an interview at the same time. That is living on the edge, for sure. Please let me know about both. I am eager to see if you are okay.
The union thing sounds like it is far more complex than it would first appear. And, you are without a doubt right about your father deserving much more in terms of a send off than this mess of a situation would offer.
So, if I saw you I would say...yes, that is Liz. Name fits. Why is that? And Steven is not Stephen. So, they are different, right? Well, I think you would get killed if you took that name. It seems like it is already spoken for in the family. However, a middle name of Steven. Now that is cool. Why, that action would not get you a visit, but it might get you a card and a gift certificate to Macy's or something. You'll have to let me know. Steven
You sound like you have been through a lot. The blood clot thing sounds both okay and not. The baby does not sound like he is in distress, but I will bet you are. Two weeks of bed rest? That seems like something that would kill you. You are not exactly a passive person. And, will you do it, the bed rest? It seems like a good idea to me for reasons of emotional health as well. But I wonder if you can stand it.
I am sure he did not tell you what the whole possibility is as he does not know. I mean, can anyone really tell if something is going to be gone in a week or two? I guess he is just being cautious. He has no reason to be deceptive.
Yick is right. (the name that does say it all. ) The guy was not too swift and he was let go. This is totally different from what happened to you. And, it is the good employees that fear the firings as the bad ones hardly notice, or at least this is what I have noticed. Rob has more time. That is a good thing too, as it gives another week to see what is happening with the ConEd situation. I do not see this as bad, but as a chance for Rob to step back and really see the whole situation for what it is. The light bed rest for you is also an opportunity to see this in a clearer light.
Peter: What a self centered bugger. Make sure Peter applies flexible FMLA so your job is preserved. I would ask HR and bypass him. He does not need to look this up. This is common to the work environment. And, he has to let you use your full leave sick first, then personal, then vacation, before unpaid leave kicks in. That is the law.
Your mom. This is a really sad thing, this event you told me about. Here you have another person act better than your mother. Why would she do this? This is what normal people do to help. You were not able to see what normal was from your mother growing up. She was and is broken. You have a very damaged mother who didn't care about you because she is emotionally stunted. This is not our fault, and it is good for you to look at these past events using adult eyes, or to ask what others think of this...people you trust. You need to see how alone you were as a child/teen/young woman. You were without a mom, a real one in the emotional sense, for certain. That is so right about Kate. You would move all things to help her if she was stuck. That is what a real mom would do. So, you do have a reference to normal, your own relationship with Kate.
You guys really do have a tight debt plan. But I commend you for it. Not all can do this with such dedication. It is really hard to live in a pure cash world.
Rob sounds like St Francis. The guy had nothing of any value, and would dump ashes on his food so he would not enjoy it. St Francis was a bit odd, but he didn't complain about limitations. Sound more and more like Rob. St Rob?
Nice how mom avoids you huh? She is a mess. Even others see it. It is laughable and sad all at the same time.
Yup, baby name/visit hostage. That is the name of the game. Steven
We need a new thread BTW.