thanx for the article. To sumerize, and as the article says : we don't really know how it works, but the effect on the next generations is obvious ( not to speak about épigénétic...). Here is my humble theory on the topic, that hasen't been comfirm yet, by my readings. If someone make a big fault, and decide to keep it secret, there is no way to recycle the inside tension between the self and the ideal honest modele. Among others, one methode of lowering the tension, would be to psychologicaly weaken any one you meet, so the other will have much more difficulties to discover your hidden but real fault. Some do that by being agressive, or straight and sever, my father does it by making a game of everybody. I don't know how it was transfer from my grandfather to daddy, but from dad to me, by the same mecanism that make a child behave as his father: Education ! And you think every boddy is like that, but when you enter the real life, and you receive a severe lesson... you ask : " what is wrong in me ? " Now, i am 50, and after a lot of studying, listenening, questionning, i think i am close to truth and the root of the evil. And i see around me, people with much bigger "karma" to carry because of one of the recent french wars: WW2 with problematic german occupation; w of INDOCHINE ( recycled for americans as vietnam) and W of ALGERIA. In each family, there are members who were involved in some of this wars.
Back to my granddady: He was in Marseille, when The NAZIs invaded the north of France. Under the vichy governement, he reached 22, légal age to be trained as a soldier. The national service was replaced by "les chantiers de jeunesse "directed by GAL de la porte du Theil, who was arrested by the GESTAPO after a few month. In fact, they was just training how to survive and fight in the "maquis" where the resistance forces were hidding, and be ready to help during the liberation battles. My grandfather spent one year on this training. But when Americans, canadians, australians, etc... were risking their lives to beat the Nazis, my grandfather played dead, at home (like a lot of others). But because of his passivity, the allies ranks were diminished, and surelly this resulted in more inoccent deaths. He is responsable for that, and he knew it, as he had time to think about it, til he died at the age of 70. War was like it never exist for my grandfather, and father. I am shure they never spoke together about this "tabou". I ignore if my father was aware of all that before i told him. Was he knowing and hidding ? I remember one time i told him when i was working hard on the family complexe : " it would be better for you, that you told me before i discover it by myself " as usual he let things roll, hopping some miracle would solve that. Sorry but, problem that you know you will have to deal with, even if you wait 10, 1000, 100000000000 days... the problem is still waiting for you ! So, to clean this knot of bad vibrations, we must ask the family of the victimes to forgive us. But to deserve pardon, we must admit our faults, this is a minimum. So, i would like to ask all this men who were involved in bad wars, to stop desplaying their false moral honesty, to give up racisme or any superiority complexe, and have the courage to aknowledge their faults, so perhaps they could be forgiven, and we could live in peace. For my father, i would like him to be courageous, once, to aknowledge his father fault. I am aware that because of evolution of society, explosion of disponibility of knowledge, etc.. i am asking him to do what he could never have ask his own father.... this requires what we all need: courage !
Now, what would you advise me to do for our day to day relation. Because of his bad way of thinking, i took the hard decision to avoid any full interaction with him. I only communicate by email. But if i want to visit him in the futur, how can i be shure that he doesn't bring me back, by sentiments, on the same negative routines ? He has two close brothers who works on the same pattern. Thanx for your advice on the all, ofcourse