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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 235
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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Is screaming at children cause for professional help?

Customer Question

Is screaming at children cause for professional help?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 2 years ago.

Heidi LPC :

Hi there! I am hoping to be of some assistance to you here... is this you that we are speaking about? Or someone else?


 

Customer:

Me.

Heidi LPC :

So it sounds as if you are unsure about how to manage their behavior, or are in need of some alternatives to parenting, maybe? I am wondering why you are asking--- has someone mentioned getting help to you?


 

Customer:

No one has mentioned anything. Overall I believe I am a good Mom, but there are times when I have less patience. Maybe during PMS or when I'm tired. My daughter is 5 and my son is almost 3. It's when we're at home when the problems occur. My daughter's behavior this summer is very challenging. I do believe I need how to learn to manage their behavior.

Customer:

I believe I need help with anger control, too.

Heidi LPC :

I love this subject, and have found an amazing book that I have used with parents for years, "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Glenn Latham. http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Positive-Parenting-Wonderful/dp/1567131751 Staying calm teaches children to stay calm; whatever you do teaches them how to react to frustration, so staying calm is vital in teaching children how to manage frustration...


 

Heidi LPC :

It is wonderful that you are reaching out for some help! There are a great many sites on the web for parenting advice and help; the first concept to keep in mind is that whatever you give the most attention to is what you will get more of, so give lots of attention to what the kids do correctly, and try to ignore as much negative as possible. Shower them with praise when they do what you expect...


 

Heidi LPC :

Second, remember that discipline is meant to teach... so be sure that you take some breaths before you react in anger... and try to think about what lesson they may need to learn at that moment... then teach them.


 

Customer:

Yes, today when my daughter hit me more then once in front of my son because I wanted her to share a toy

Customer:

I chose to hit her on the head with the toy (it was a wooden flute) and I knew it was wrong but my anger got the best of me.

Customer:

What a terrible thing for my son to see. The hour of 3-5 is a challenge for us and I have to think of a plan for us to get

Customer:

busy with something at that time. I just feel guilty for my behavior and was concerned it would impact my daughter's

Heidi LPC :

Yes... I will be honest to say that hitting children teaches them that it is ok to hit when we are angry. Children pay little attention to what we say, but absorb 100% of what we do... I am sure you felt terrible after... and again, I commend you for taking action to get control back of your own anger.

Customer:

mental health. I personally have had depression in the past and enjoy down time but she is very social and wants

Customer:

company all the time. yes, I am trying to learn to talk less and act more....walking away is acting I guess.

Heidi LPC :

Given the circumstances of your own battles with depression, I would say that some counseling to deal with your own depressive episodes and anger would possibly be very helpful to you... and I highly recommend the book. We innately do what was done to us as kids, sometimes... and it may be that some re-teaching for you about coping with frustration and anger may give you the tools and support you need to feel more in control of your style of parenting.


 

Heidi LPC :

You have one chance to parent; take every opportunity to have zero regret over how you do it.


 

Heidi LPC :

And the fact that you asked the question means that you are on the road to finding the answers for yourself!! :-)


 

Customer:

Thank you for your advice!!

Heidi LPC :

Thank you for asking! Kids are our heritage, and taking the job seriously is one of the most important jobs you will ever do! :-)


 

Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 235
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
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