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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi steven olsen please i had another difficult night. i ran

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hi steven olsen please i had another difficult night. i ran and ran. and was juts really busy. i had a good number of indigent drunk hostile psych pts. not all were all but varied in their issues as people are. well i d/cd one of these people. and i didnt want to. i told dr a i didnt want to. he was so determined that he gave me the monye to send the pt back to her home and when he did i said quietly but he heard me.. copy cat. he laughed and said nothing. we stayed away from each other really. i did speak with dr b, but more on that later. if theres time. so this lasy is in her 50s and has no teeth. yep. like 2 teeth. well she was spekaing quickly and rambling to me but did know who she was and where she was. she did not know the date. she was complaining of urinary symptoms. we got her urine it was dirty, i gave her po abx and she was to be d/cd. doesnt sound so bad does it? well she was dfef odd. like she had a psych hx. anyway dr a says ok lets d/c her. so i ask the pt do you have medicaid? she says no i have no insurance. i look and sure enough she doesnt. so she also states i have no money and my clothes are wet. i had no clothes to give her but dr a said he would pay for her to go back by cab. so i figured ok in 20 min shell be home she can shower and change and i actually tell her this. she gets her d/c papers, i tell her fill your prescription, and heres the money for the cab. theyll be here in 15 min or so. so she does all this and leaves. i have the thought well i hope she doesnt buy drugs, but i mean i cant hold everyones hand can i ? ok so im giving report and im so tire di feel like i could fall asleep in the chair. im working with this male nurse james. he used to work there but now works at another hosp nearby and does ot with us. well the charge nurse says did you d/c a pt named.. XXXXX XXXXX. (not her name) so i say yes why? they say shes at the wrong address. so im like well let me get her address. so i find the chart and i tell them and shes at the address in her chart. so they tlel me i sent her to the wrong address. so im like well its the same one as her chart. so im told by the supervisor come to the nsg office and bring the chart and write an incident report. and now im on the verge of tears steven b/c i didnt want to d/c her but im so tired of having problems i didnt fight with him after trying to discuss it 2 x with him and his volatile moods. he said shes fine theres no reason for her to stay. so apprently the address is of a woman with the same name as the pt. both XXXXX XXXXX. so it seems that registration put her as a different pt. so james says make the report as vague as possible. so im liek ok. im at the point i cant think and he says im writing this shit. so he does and its like 3 lines. as per nsg supervisor pt at wrong address. prior to d/c confirmed pts address, pt given money and told where to wait for cab, pt sent to address in chart. he puts himself as a witness and says he spoke with her too. i thanked him for it and he said look why do you need to go to the nsg office? youre 15 min past your shift. wtf is that is what he says. and hes willing to back me up. he says you didnmt do anything wrong and f**k that. he says if you go down there and they get rude or keep questioning you tell them you want a union rep. so i say ok. and the form says jame sis a witness even though hes not. he says if they try to f**k you dont say anything ask for youre rep. peter asked m e if i asked the woman if it was her address and well honestly i didnt. but the cab drivers ask when they get in b/c ive had to take the pts out to the cab and they say where we going? i go downt here and im so nervous. i sit while the superviror is tlaking to people inmm admmsion/ registartion. i call peter to tell him and he gets angry quickly he tells it is a big deal its a big mistake. so i said again yes its the one that was on the chart. so he says did you con firm it? so i say yes. b ut i really didnt. well they made me call the police to look for her snd i felt like honestly did soemthing wrong to this lady. anyway, i have to call 911 make the report wait for the cops to call or show up, im an hr past thr shift finally pd calls i giuv e them the description. so they have 2 cars look for her. and theyre going to bring her in or bring her to her home.. another twist to the story is that the other pt who has the same name is XXXXX XXXXX saying the pt is confused and wandering around. - outside im assuming. she was so angry the nsg supervisor hung up on her. and then she called the day shift charge nurse and she ended up hanging upon her too. colleen luckily had a light assignment and stayed wiht me and told me dotn you dare cryt liz and take it easy. so james writes the incident report , anyway peter says its a big deal b/c i sent the pt to the wrong place and i said no i didnt its the place on her chart. its not like i picked up XXXXX XXXXXs chart and sent her to his address. its almost 9am
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Not to be a medical person, but she sounds like she had a UTI and it was affecting her mental stability. We see that all the time here in geriatric land.

I know that you felt badly that you d/c her without further testing or process and To have her sent home as she was is rough, especially after how she presented. But, the key to all of this is that the charting issue was not your fault. Who was to know that there were two XXXXX XXXXX’s? Unless you cross checked the ID numbers, (even if this was possible) this is not something you could easily do, and if the record was messed up enough; well, there really isn’t much you can do at all. You did the best you could, and all that managerial posturing is nothing when it comes to what the real issue was…the chart was bad. What could you have done? This was an error caused by the neglect of a registration person. Blame them. Let the cards fall on the right source. I really do not see a reason that you had to offer, or even felt obligated to apologize. This was not on you.

Do I think you messed up? No. It was an error on the chart, and I am sure that if someone dug deeply enough that there was probably some way to distinguish the patients apart, if you suspected an error…but why would you expect that? It was just too bizarre. I see nothing wrong at all with what you did and the reaction you received from the others was just managerial fear. You won’t get busted for this. I would scream union, union all over the place if they try, and I do not think they will. This is an error that is outside of your control. Tell me they would not have made the same mistake if give the same information. They would have.

Dr B and Kim huh? I feel she is just going to get hurt, but she is a big girl and needs to make that choice on her own., to pursue him. He is not interested I am certain. But you in the middle of all this is not a pleasant picture. Good friend or not it places you in a position where you get the stress and none of the friendship benefits. Any way you can agree to not have them talk about each other with you?

I am really glad to see that Kate did well at Kathy’s. I suspected she would do so. She is right at the age where this sort of interaction will help her grow. I would guess you may even see some lightning fast maturity in the next couple of weeks.
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi stsven. i just got back from my emergency visit to the ob. yep, i got up at 2 - worried about that pt, checked my phone and i went ot he bathroom. well i had alot of blood. alot. so much i got dizzy not from the loss of blood but the amt. and of course the scare. i called rob hysterically sobbing and he said go to the dr now. i was calling i couldnt get thru for almost 30 min i finally hit the automated system for an emergency got one of the girls and told her i needed to see my ob. of course hes out of town. where the f**k is he when i need him? and let me tell you i will say that when i see him next. i wont postpone telling you that i found out that little one is soemhow alive and well. my placenta is low lying and she thinks im dehydrated and running too much and the placenta bled. my cervix is closed and elongated even more than normal whihc is good as opposed to bad. and there was the baby. 2 days shy of 20 weeks. and we saw all the fingers and the little foot. and wiggling its toes like its just figuring it out. we dont know if its a boy or girl the baby was faced away and the butt was there and she said she didnt want to try tp manipulate when im bleeding. my bleeding had lessened by the time i went ot the dr. so she said thats good. so she found out cuz she asked what i do, where i work, told me i work too hard and god bless me she doesnt know how i do it. and that im on bedrest. i said oh shit. she told me she will talk to whatever nursing supervisor manager or nursing administration and tell them ill lose the baby. but i know ill be in trouble. they say they dont hold this against you but they do steve. i knwo they do. i wouldnt cuz ive been there. but other people dont wnat to hear it. i asked first politely about if they found the pt and he said no.. its already after 4pm... but the whole thing is in legals hands b/c the other pt said her info was given to this nutjob and its an international incident now essentially. i tried not to exhale loudly but i kind of did when he told me. steven i try os hard and its like i set up transport im screwed. i dont im screwed. im fighting with everyone. and i feel unsafe. like im going to go down for soem crap i didnt do. i feel bad fo registration too b/c if nutjob is being unreliable.. well what can we do? we cant background check everyone. ask for references - is this person really who they say they are? its a mess. really. i dont wnat the registration lady in trouble either. - for all we know this lady is impersonating the other as far as im concerned. i was concerned if we found her they would keep her for her babling and it would be shit on me and dr a s face really. and im not going down with him. so the longer shes not found and not injured.. the better it is for us to argue and say her status changed. like even tomorrow we could say she wasnt like that. maybe shes on drugs or whatever. i hate to be so cya, but i feel i have to cover myself too unfortunately. i want the pt safe but i do feel she is an underlying psych not just amixed up uti. she isnt that old, shes 50 and she wasnt septic. it could add to her confusion... but i think shes underlyingly, off the beaten path. really.

anyway i dont know if since they called legal i should call my legal counsel to get her to help me hash it out and what to say if they approach me. either way i dont want to be a scapegoat. been there. done that.

anyway im just so relieved the babys ok steve. i was hysterically crying thinking i lost it. my bleeding has stopped and she told me it may come and go the next few days and not to worry, and i have the picture of the baby and its so cute. it really looks like a baby. i called and told rob and he said thats great honey. i felt bad scaring him at work but i had to call him. i kind of feel stupid now as the bleeding really stopped fast but it was like ahuge gush. i actually had the thought i should work and then go tomorrow since i knew my ob is in on wednesdays. and i wouldnt miss work. i didnt want them to think i was staying home cuz im a chicken shit form the incident occurred. cuz i was ready to come in and say i dont id people. i dont ask for passport photos. i mean they cna all lie please... at the hosp i go to and have my bab ies and procedures they ask you for id. your drivers license and ins card. they dont kid around there i promise. they practically do a credit check.
so i told peter im on bedrest due to the bleeding and he seemed unhappy. i also had to be put out sunday and will be seen for re eval on mon. but ill tell you the pa was really nice. super sweet. her name was... wait for it. HONEY. thats right you f**king heard me.
i said whats her name? they said it again and i was like her first name is honey? and theyre like yeah. i said ok. i mean if you name your daughter honey.. is it her fault sahe becomes a stripper? where can she go with that? she was very pretty too. i def would not name my kid that. or bambi. i guess im a serious person i dont know. but anyway she took me right in. they got me all ready fast and she started checking the baby and there was the heartbeat. and the babys moving. and she measured and the head is so big. its like alittle braniac. and it was wiggling its toes. she gave me pics and told me the placenta will move up and she thinks it will be ok. and i thanked her a hundred times. i def cant complain... honey was sweet.
i couldnt let that pun go. i cant imagine what guys say to her... like ill lick you all over honey? forget it right?

anyway between sheilas baby dying and then this i feel so emotionally overwrought its not funny. im sitting here crying just over the worry of this thing with this pt and then the bleeding. forget it.

i called my dad b/c im worried of a write up.. and told him about the pt.. he said for all you know elizabeth it could be the pt saying she was with a woman at the door and they gave out her inof etc. that 2 nd pt doesnt exist and shes trying to bilk the system. i can see his point... but this pt was def not sharp enough to do that. but not for nothing. if a cab brings you to the wrong house... dont you say.. uh this isnt my house? do you get out and knock on the door and say let me in? thats what concerns me for her mental status. the whole story is absolutely crazy to me...
do you think im right that i should call doreen and ask her what i should say?

i just texted dr b and told him and hes like ugh ok :(
maybe he planned on proposing tonight?

either way kim is in charge of the registration girls and im hoping i can have leniency with the warden and see if we can tlak casually to make sure that girl doesnt lose her job. i will defend her as much as i can...
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh and steven kate was picekd up by rob and cried she didnt wnat to leave bella they love each other and were hugging when rob took kate.... they went to the park, ate the food i sent and napped. im glad it wasnt a disaster for both of them. kathy told me kates really good natured.

i called my dad and spoke to my mother. she didnt seem too pleased but she did say im too far to let anything happen to the baby and i should do what the dr says. she took kate today. i was actually told i should send kate wherever she goes when i work until i got for my follow up b/c shes a baby and its too much for me to do. but i just cant do that steve. i didnt ask them to take her. i figured well stay around the house and ill take it easy. working i think is too much but i thought def by sun i oculd go back but she said no i have to wait til they see me mn. i guess i can see if theyll let me go in that night..
either way my dad was very worried when i told him i had to rush to the ob he said - i could hea rit in his voice - scared - he kind of lowers his voice and the tone changes - i think like hes bracing himself - and i told him i was bleeding and to him that meant.. well i know to alot of men bleeding with preg women means the baby died. i told him not the babys ok, but i did admit i got very scared due to the amt at 1st. so he was like oh no.. and i told him again the babys ok and he said it is? i said yeah daddy i heard the babys heartbeat and the babys laying on its side with its leg bent. and it was wiggling its toes and he said really?? i said yes, and he said ok well go home and put your feet up. and call mommy to explain this to her. i guess he didnt understand the placenta thing..i didnt get inot all the nitty gritty i just said the placenta needs to lift, and it hasnt yet.

so i told my mom and we spoke of nothing else but this baby and kate the great. my dad said he misses kate so much eh cant take it etc. and he said mommy does too. my mother told me oh take it easy for wed - today- and then kates good, and she cant play and i cna lay on the couch. i didnt argue i said ok mom and she said and when youre sitting put your feet up.
i said ok mom.

i am concerned steven if they want me out on bedrest. i cant go out now. we cant afford for me to be out for 4 1/2 months from now and then 2 months after the baby. its 6 months. and to be on bedrest for the summer? i will freak out. really freak out.
i hope mon he says im fine and this is it. i can go on with doing my thing.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

This is one heck of a post. So much emotional stuff is going on...this has to be totally overwhelming for you.

 

Emotionally: First of all, it is wonderful that you found out that the baby was doing well. I know you are scared of the bedrest issue, and your job, and the flak that comes back from it...but you do have a year in now, and you are required to be given FLMA protected leave by law, no questions asked. You cannot help that this occurred. It is a physical thing. They may be displeased, but things like this happen, and you have to prioritize your health and the baby's at this point. No, that does not remove the anxiety, but at least you were there a year and that FMLA will hold your position if needed, and the hospital has to grant it if it exceeded three consecutive work days with a doctors authorization that the condition legitimate. And, you have that. (Most people think ZFMLA is only for long leaves, but three days and up you qualify.)

 

The patient: Unless I am missing something here, I cannot see how this is your fault. Or why you would need legal counsel, HIPAA breach or otherwise. Yes, it was a breach of patient information. But, there is no way that you would suspect that a chart address was another patients.

 

That is on the records people, plain and simple. I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX this lady is so determined to commit fraud that she was intentionally impersonating someone, and based on her presentation, she sounds way too elemental to be thinking about spreading the other person's information around if she had it. This is not on you. It is on records. Besides...wasn't I right about the licensing thing? THe hospital will have to call the real "Suzie Q" to let her know her information got out, but that is not on you.

 

I know you want to defend the registration person, but it is their fault. Unless you have information that would exonerate them, let this go. The more you are a part of this, the worse it is. It is not unethical to let management sort this out with registration. This is a case where you should stay away unless asked.

 

On another note: I had to laugh when you said the baby really looks like baby. Of course it does. At 8 weeks even fingerprints are present. So at your stage, you have a "baby baby". It is really cool you got to see him. And your PA being "Honey"...Well, I guess I never thought about all the jokes that would go with that, but you are right. A stripper or something is what that name brings up. (people with odd names tend to either be great failures or great success stories, and not much else. Look at a prison roster sometime, lots of weird names.

 

Peter can go fly once the doctor approves you for bedrest. If it is past three days its is FMLA and he has to shut up. Besides, he wouldn't let you switch to days. Serves him right.

 

Kate is dealing with social stuff just like she should. She needs an equal, and now has it. That is a great thing. I am sure Kathy will be willing to have you have Kate over now that she sees how they are together.

 

Your mom, well even lions play well sometimes. I am sure she can afford to be gracious to you. She does, even if she can't see it, owe you. Your dad is sweet. You can tell he loves you to death and worries about you and your life and health. At least you have him, even if mom can be so inappropriate sometimes.

 

If your bleeding has stopped, they probably will want you to take it easy for a little bit and will monitor the placenta. They are going to read you the riot act, but if you beg to work they usually will give you minimum time on bedrest as that is not good for you altogether either. Relax. Take what you can of today. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Get through now and get some rest. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve. kate is at my moms. i have been on the phone - first with jen who told me if the pts a missing person... it could be a big deal. i said well who said shes missing? did her family call and say shes missing? personally i think shes homeless. she couldve walked to9 her house. or wherever. i mean i didnt tell them i thought she was off the beaten path. or a psych pt. i said she may have a speech impediment shes hard to understand. but... thats it.
rob said a name and address is public record. he said did these assholes ever hear of a phone book? true rob. i wonder if rob shouldve been a lawyer at times.

as for me im not really bleeding just some pinkishness. so... thats it. i slept pretty good last night b/c i didnt drink much during the day yest and didnt have to pee like i usually do. all night.
rob called me and checked on me. which is nice.

my mom called and told me she needs diapers for kate. i said ok. and she told me shes playing with her new castle that kathy gave to us. she said bella outgrew it. bella is 5 now, shes not the same age as kate, jens daughter cassie is the closest shes got as a contemporary really. kathy seems like she wants another baby now after being with kate for the day. she said i could live without poop diapers though. i said yeah no i enjoy them.
kate played with that castle for hrs last night hsowing me the horsies and the princess. and then telling me shes a princess. saying "im a princess'

hey steve, been thinking of baby names... what do you think of Andrew Stephen for a boy? or Andrew William? i like the name Jack but cant find a good middle name. or a girl im m ore pressed as Kate is really my favorite name for a girl. I was thinking Victoria.. although i dont love Vicky.
im thinking i cant name the kid honey. im just saying. no offense to pa honey. but... well not everyone can pull it off.
i mean the kids name is XXXXX XXXXX like look at kate the princess williams wife. her name is XXXXX XXXXX respected married a future king.
and then her sisters name is XXXXX XXXXX pippas naked in star magazine you know? i know her namer is really philippa or something but really. you know no one is going to say philippa all day. i like for a girl isabella but i feel like one its weird since my names elizabeth its like naming her after me but its not really my name...

yeah i was surprised that the baby looks like a baby baby. i last saw at 3 months and it was so small it looked like a baby... but it was so tiny...

anyway i miss baby kate. i wish she was here with me.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
btw when my mom called today she kept telling me how hard it was for her to go to my dads friends sons wedding in boston b/c of everything thats happened. shes exhausted. they havent food shopped. etc. she heard kathy watched the baby and seemed mildly surprised. i said to kathy same time next week as a joke... well see my mom may start trying to get out of this whole thing i bet. she made a comment when i was 3 months preg like i should find a babysitter since ill have a new infant.

and she said like phrases over and over like its been tough on me (this is the woman who said that she wont be able to wipe the smile off her face when her mother died..) and im so tired and everything s happened so close.. i told her at least you were still able to go to the wedding theyre some of your oldest friends my dad knows eddie from like 10 years old. and my mom dated eddie first. before my dad. yeah we should get them liquored up to find out what happened there huh? one time they were all pretty far inot the alcohol and eddie said hey rememeber when patti had really big boobs (my mother is patti, and yes she did. then she got very thin and has very tiny ones..) and my mom said yeah eddie and you used to have all that hair... on your head...
there was alot of howling and laughing.. i was just akid but i was shocked at the exchange. i was like 11 or so i think.

that reminds me when dr b was near me.. he has very hairy arms and we werent touching but his hair was touching me.. and it was very light.. and i said ugh youre so hairy... he said what do you want? im italian. i wrinkled my nose and said i know... he said the great irony all this hair on me and none on my head... and then said.. ive made peace with it. i said well. thats good. how many therapy sessions did it take? 6 or so? and he just laughed... dr b actually told me also how he had a great childhood. his parents were nice and he had a brother and sister and friends in school and had good times and has fond memories of the whole thing. i didnt say anything but i felt.. jealous. i mean i remember some fun things.. but it seemed like.. i dont know they always had soem sort of undertone? like it was fun despite my mom. like we were going to disney and we had fun. but its like we were on vacation and my mom wasnt happy? she hated disney world etc.
and just him saying that. i had the though i guess it made sense. like his moms a teacher his dad is also working class i cant remember what - they lived on the island and had a nice house.. and if they were nice and he had friends.. well i think thats good childhood. you know? i wonder why he stutters then though.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Your patient is not a missing person. She was released on her own recognizance after being cleared at a hospital. That is how legal will see it. And, agree with Rob here; just look up her real address on Google if she has one. That will give you the information you need, and if not, a hospital can ask the local police to run down the real address and try to make contact if everyone is still worried.

 

Oh, that Rob. He is a smooth one...calling to check up on you. He is learning! lol

 

Someday I need to meet Kate. I doubt that will ever happen, but she sounds sweet. I am glad that she was able to socialize so well. And, as she is a baby influencing kid, it is obvious that she is a sweet one. Many women after being exposed to children like Kate try to have another. But I have noticed the child they usually have is anything but sweet. Hmmm, don't tell Kathy.

 

I have an Andrew in the family and Jack is my son's name, so I like both names. Jack is a powerful name and it has very good psychological feelings associated with it. It is the most common name for a male hero in a book. But not Honey if a girl? I am so disappointed. Maybe Nevada or Trixie? Those are some of those dubious names too. Isabella doesn't sound good to me for some reason and it does sound a little too much like yours, at least to me. Victoria is pretty, but few people call a girl Victoria if they can shorten it to Vicky, and Vicky can be a bad name too as it gives off nasty feelings for some. I will see if I can find the ...what people think of your child's name book for you. It is not meanings of names, but what people think of the name when they hear it.

 

Mom might bail on you as a sitter, but I think she will not as it opens up a door (or keeps one open) to control things. She seems that controlling type to me, and I doubt she would cut ties to her grandchildren so easily, and for the ongoing emotional control/guilt reasons as well.

 

Now does your pregnancy seem more real since you saw the baby more on the sonogram?

 

Freaky when parents talk about real things, like sexual matters. Kind of weird isn't it? And, I am sure some of what mom is saying is simply exhaustion and being worn out from all the recent trauma and drama. It is one of the most stressful things and she will not be herself, if she follows the usual pattern of loss, for a good two-three months.

 

Dr b's family sounds very nice, and not all boys who stutter have emotional issues. The processing center for language in men is much less robust, which is why when men are trying to talk in social situations they often stutter. A neural traffic jam occurs. In a woman, the processing center is so large that rarely does stuttering occur except for emotional trauma. I do get what you mean about being jealous. You were emotionally abused and this subtle guilt and disapproval that you mom radiates can cause a child to feel very insecure and angry, yet feel there is no reason to be, all at the same time. Steven

 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i said that to jen - that the pt is released on her own recognizance but whatever. she was documented as alert and oriented to person place, but didnt know what time it was. she def seemed like a drug addict. and im not going to say that as its not documented or admitted in the chart. im just thinking im going to say if questioned that she couldve came back to the hosp. or she couldve called 911. or she couldve just went home after getting out of the cab. i dont see a different address for her anywhere, so... i dont know. she also couldve been runnign a scam. i believe you and agree she didnt seem like ti, but i like to throw a lot of food for thought out there. so how do i defend the pt at the house saying the pt was confused and babbling? yeah rob. i think he got scared about the losing the baby thing. it was alittle too real and its not like we havent been there. i had the thought i wouldnt be able to deal with losing another at this point or later as.. well i still hurt so badly for the last. id have a year old boy on june 15th. and couldve been preg with my 3rd now. i know woulda coulda shoulda. but... i still think that. i told him im sorry i scared him but i got so scared. he said no hes happy i called and i should call him. he said hes sorry he wasnt here to take me or talk to me or be here with me when it did happen. last time when i called and told him crying i just left the drs office and the dr had told me the baby died... i called crying saying i lost the baby. kat ewas 8 months old and in the infant car seat. well he thought someone had taken kate and actually started yelling at his office someone took her? other people in his office got scared i guess puitting 2 and 2 together as we had an infant and then rob had to explain i lost the fetus and they said rob man go home. he stayed the rest of the day at my urging. sicne he was going to have to take off to take me to the hosp for surgery. rob is always seen as the cool cucumber at work and people tell me that all the time. so im sure if screamed people were like wtf? poor rob. i felt awful about that scare plus the losing of the baby. anyway poor rob im on pelvic rest so so sex for him. like no soup for you in seinfeld. my friend kathy cannot have children after many years of loses and not being to getg preg even with ivf. she got preg with twins and would you believe the one that was alive was in her tube implanted and the other was dead buried into the uterus. a blighted ovum. i gave her shots 3 weeks a month for a year while she went thru this and it was 2 or 3 shots a day. i told her get on the list after she lost her tube for adoption and even that was hard as it took a very long time to get the baby. 15 months. so she kn ew about bella a week before she was to be born and then waited 15 months while the foster mothers took care of her in guatemala. and bella who was afraid of rob her own father went ot my husband rob. i felt awful since kathy and rob had just paid 40k for her. i told her so but she still would bury her face into my robs neck. poor bella didnt speak english and i remember using my poor spanish to tyr to help kathy with her. kathy and rob havent been able to buy ahouse as they spent all their savings on bella and then due to the poor econonmy rob works for a year or 2 and then loses his job. he does marketing or soem crap. he just tooka security job in the city to just work til he finds soemthing. they live upstairs from her mother ina 2 family house in ridgewood. not a greta neighborhood anymore. plus kathys 10 years older than me. so she must be 44 now. she wasnt bale to get preg at 37... so how worried should i be having this kid if youre saying that youve noticed that the kid women have after seeing a sweet kid like kate is not sweet? im screwed arent i? had another b/c i love kate so much although i still think shes on the hi maintenance side... as for you meeting kate. come on over. whos stopping you? get in the odyssey pack up the family and get going. you may surprise yourself and like it here. so man y people need therapy here... well forget it. ok so i gotta ask, but of course you dont have to answer. what sjacks middle name? maybe i cna get a sound for it then. k at the end of the name is XXXXX XXXXX me. and of course whats the girls names? is it weird we have the same taste in names? or that we both have the same minivan? or that our dads both worked for a utility? ok so the twilight zone music should be playing now. i dont know if my mom wants to take care of another baby. she has said many times about other people who take care of their grandchildren how its not fair and its f**king up the time that theyre supposed to be doign what they want. i feel like my mom is def selfish. like my mom watches kate 1 day a week 2 weeks a month and 2 days a week 2 weeks in the month. i dont think thats so over burdening. really. like kathys sister had her mom runnign with 3 kids 5 days a week and i didnt think that was os fair. and i guess shes burned out b/c she doesnt help kathy with bella as much. i think that sunfair as kathys only going to have the one kid. and they know it. its not like its a big secret. but i think b/c the sister took advantage of the mother.. its like the mother doesnt want to fall into that trap again. so i got a text from kim... i know from dr b that she asked to go out again. but he didnt ans. anyway she sent me atext last night that said so when did dr b tell you he didnt like me? it was pretty late at night and i didnt ans cuz didnt see it. i prob was already a asleep. an hr after that she sent me a text sorry about the dr b comment. i dont know what to say now.. i dont want to get involved any further and i dotn want to have kim be upset with me. b/c i like her. ps i wish i was only emotionally abused. she used to beat the shit out of me too. my dad only spanked me once when i was little that i can remember. but my mom used to really come after me. and it was thru my teenage years. she broke my pinky when i was 19, she came after me and grabbed me and only caught my finger and yanked it. i had to lie at work and say i caught it in the file cabinet. and i lied to her too and told her i did that too. why i dont know.
oh and steve, rob told me my dad told his friend eddie how many times is this going to happen to rob? somewhow he heard that a guy from con ed called rob and said the job was already filled etc. but the con ed guy said hell be posting 3 new jobs one in manhatten one in the bronx and one upstate. so rob said hed take the manhatten one. i dont rememe=ber telling ym dad that happened. so i dont know how he knows that. but it seems to me hes putting the screws to eddie about this now and i said to rob if you get offered a job with them, youre going to either have to take it or youre going to have to burn the bridge. weve asked so many times and now if my dad got nasty with eddie... i mean i didnt want that at all. i didnt even tell my dad i asked eddie at the funeral.. hey what happened to nepotism? and eddie said tell rob to look at the website and reapply etc. eddie is now meeting with rob to do a mock interview so he knows what to say. and rob has an interview on monday on his lunch break to meet with the other big company that was his old companies competitor...
geez steven did i put my foot in this and ruin their friendship? im goijng to call my dad and try to get him to call eddie. eddies son just got married, con ed contractg is in huge negotiations as it looks like theyre walking out and eddies mother is 90 yrs old and he takes care of her along wiht his sister whos mentally retarded and has seizures. i feel eddie has too much going on and the weight of the world on his shoulders and i dont want to add to it b/c he doesnt deserve it.
i feel my dad should apologize. rob said he told my dad right away and said oh but the guy said theres going to be new postings. and my dad said oh.. good. but wasnt like oh crap i got nasty with eddie.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Thanks Liz for the questions...I am in an all day required work training and will get to this tonight. Hopefully that is okay. I took a quick break to drop you a line. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh thx steve. i am ok. no rush to answer. aw thats so sweet you took a break to drop me a line...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

It seemed like the break to drop you a line was the only one I got yesterday. It was one of those days where there is no break.

 

You are right on I feel about the woman's choices. She could have returned, or said she needed to go back once she saw she was in the wrong neighborhood, etc. How do you defend the confused and babbling part? Easy. She was d/c intact and on her own self care. That was the formal assessment. Only a targeted evaluation, such as a Folstein Mini-Mental or other wise can determine that level of confusion. Many people under stress act odd. Maybe she was just odd, or speech impaired with few teeth? BotXXXXX XXXXXne is that you did nothing wrong as you are not he one who screwed up the chart or discharged her.

 

You had to call Rob about the baby. There was no other choice. Yes, it was scary and I know that the past hurts of losing the other baby really put pressure on you both emotionally. But you needed him, and that is his role. He was there for you and that is what mattered. I am sure he will be devastated by the no sex rule. That is going to be difficult for him at a different level I think. lol

 

Kathy sound like she has really be through it. We tried at one point to adopt a child from overseas but the money...the money is crazy and the red tape and fuss and everything. It was sad, but we just could not do it. I feel foe them. And now they have spent their savings and have not as many choices. But you know; they saved a life, and that is eternal, and priceless.

 

With you and this pregnancy there is no way we can tell if this child will be angelic or wildly bad. You just have to see. It is said that inutero behavior often show the genetic traits of the child. This baby seems laid back, no wild movements, kind of quiet. Sounds like a male, a thinking type personality to me.

 

I do not think I will be traveling to NY anytime in the future, sorry. I know there would be lots of people who need help, but there are many here too, too many to count and probably not even as healthy. There is a lot of insanity here as well. Although I think our hospitals are less chaotic.

 

Jack Ryan, (Yes, I know, tom clancey character) Rachel Kathryn the oldest and Nicole Lauren (nikki), middle. As far as commonality. In psychology only certain people can help certain people, and they tend to be six degrees of separation types. But then again, you married an engineer; I, a therapist.

 

I am in the camp that your mother is opinionated and will do as she wishes, right, wrong, kind or cruel. Saying she does not want to babysit; expected. She is all about her own stuff, not helping others, and you do not take advantage of her, ever. And considering that she ongoingly emotionally abuses you and that she also physically hurt you.., it would be nice as a repentant gesture to try to help you out. But again, with her issues I just do not see it. No matter how you act, great or rude or wonderful or distant you will not be able to alter her path. She is who she is and that fact looks to be, aside from God's grace, permanent.

 

What to say to Kim? Tell her you feel really sorry he is acting this way and that she must feel really hurt that he is acting like this. What is wrong with dr b you can say...your a great person; he does not know what he is missing. Just relate to her; that is enough.

 

Rob is in one of those awful situations where good stuff happens in bunches but if he acts on one he loses the other. He needs to do the best he can at both and if one is better, you both can evaluate the long term costs. I am the kind that is into stability and long term, utilities are that. Plus, there are family bridges here and that situation has to be taken slowly and carefully.

 

You didn't ruin anything. These men are just that, adult men.They seem pretty typically guy, talking about stuff that may or may not be fully true or possible. I know there are situational pressures here, but you did not break anything. The choices are theirs. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve i will start a new question for you. if thats ok...its out on the main boards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
ok so i have to ask... are you saying rob and i are an odd match due to our occupations? i know a major hookup with nurses are drs, paramedics, firemen, police officers.
funny the cops at my old job thought i was married to a dr...we used to have not fed prisoners but nypd along with atf due to our downtown location. so we used to have a good mix of prisoners who btw are easy pts cuz the cops are there to yell at them and shoor t them if they act stupid.

and the drs all thought i was married to a cop. why? dont know. my old manager used to think my dad is a cop. esp since i used to give the cops esentially look you help me ill help you type of carte blanche. they used to eat in my hallways etc. but the cops were there for me if anyone else got rowdy and even helped me fight a fire on my floor once. yep i ran inot a burning room with a ventilator ( a bomb essentially) with a fire extinguisher and rescued 4 pts. i carried the vented one in my arms down to icu. in the stairwell while management couldnt figure out why the elevators werent working. me and another nurse who bagged the pt and ran 2 floors. luckily the pt was a female who weighed about 85lbs.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Actually no, many health professionals seem to link up with engineers and math types. Not sure exactly why, but it is commonplace. I think the logic balances out the social empathy. Police are firefighters and the like, I think that hook up is mostly familiarity from the exposure to each other in the line of work.

 

I always knew you were a heroine. I may call you wonder woman. Steven

 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh weirdo. i only know of one of other nurse who was with an engineer. i know of a few nurses who are with it guys. jen is one of them.
yeah rob is pretty straight forward. his humor has been odd lately.. very... dry. twisted. but hes been in a relatively good mood so i ownt ask any more questions right? maybe he has a girlfriend. hey if thats the case... well thx girlfriend for putting him back in a good mood.

yeah i should be called captain idiot. i told you.. or shitfinger.

eveyrthing i touch turns to...

yeah well you get the idea.


the firefighters used to come to my hosp all the time to 'borrow' stuff. essentially steal gauze and first aid supplies. of cours ei used to feel quite hot and "faint" when they came by... b/c well fdny has it going on. and believe the hype over nypd and fdny hating each other. they do. i had a firefighter flirting with me and i had this fed who was named pat who liked me. he was married so was i. but he always bought me lunch and coffee and etc... and the guys used to tease him how i wasnt giving it up.

but he was MAD when this guy was talking to me. i never told pat bye. with my situation i never had a chance to. i feel badly about that. oh well. im sure he asked soemone where i was and i was trashed.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
What is it with women and firemen? The same thing happens here at work when we call 911 and the firemen arrive. The drooling is enough to get buckets for the saliva. All the firemen I have know in therapy had serious control and personality issues. Must be all the smoke. Steven
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
ok. well you know women like the whole rescue/ heroic thing. and fire fighters are in good shape. as opposed to nypd dunkin donuts. although the cops out in nassau county.. well if i had known i wouldve moved out here to meet them. at least to speed thru the area. whoa. everyone of them in shape and good looking. how did that happen? dont know. but.. it did.

the firefighters on the other hand not only have wives but girlfriends. and.. theyre arsonists. why the f**k do they all smoke? i think in general theyre immature, and boyish. they play video games, oogle women, and live in a frat house half the week.

uh dont you think it may be unfair to say all the ones you know in therapy? all of us in therapy are kind of f**ked up. i remember when i used to not be so f**ked up. it was nice. i had shaken my parents off my shoes like you do.. and i was successful. sad really.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Trust me. You have normal everyday types of issues. You do not even get on the beam for what is often seen in therapy You are having some issues with past treatment and exposure to abuse, both at home and at work. But that does not make you a mess, just a person who is having some challenges. Look, compared to a fireman you are stellar. Yes, I know I generalize what I have said about firemen; that is unfair. But I am not sure I want to be fair when it comes to fireman. lol Steven
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oooh. steven. a bit jealous with the hot firemen and the nurses/ secretaries and female therapists saying.. i wouldnt mind a little.. mouth to mouth from the firemen? lol.
come on you should be secure in your hotness. ive invited you over.. you somehow have resisted...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I am not even sure what to say to that. Steven

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