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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in mental health counseling
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Well yea I know but I just dont understand why is he reassuring

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Well yea I know but I just don't understand why is he reassuring me that he won't talk to her or be with anyone since he doesn't want to get back together right now.......I am still pregnant and found out it's a lil girl which he is very happy about.....I wish he was with me during this pregnancy.....sometimes it's very confusing as to what he wants from me......I mean he doesn't try to sleep with me at all but he kisses my forehead he hugs me he pits me in his lap he touches my belly........he looks at me with his beautiful blues.......I would love to work it out with if he is serious and we are going to have a child so it's not a game........I don't understand anything......I can't even move on cause he says there is a chance and there is no closure
Hi again :) Congratulations on your pregnancy, first of all, because I'm not sure I said so in my last message. Secondly, I can imagine it's incredibly confusing for you, because he's been consistently sending you mixed messages (at least for what I can understand of it from your previous message) throughout the course of your relationship, so it makes sense that you don't know which end is up - whether he wants to get back together with you at the immediate moment or not. And I realize how difficult it must be because you do care about him and love him - and I also get the impression that he does care about you and loves you, too. I don't think that is the issue, though. The main issue is trust and the past betrayals. I am not saying he doesn't have the capacity for change, because I believe everyone does (otherwise I wouldn't be in this line of work!), but I am just saying that if you do choose to try again with him, you have to be careful. Because of your history with him (and the baby on the way), it can be very tempting to just jump back in like old times, no questions asked. It sounds to me like you want to give it another shot, so I'm just saying be forewarned, and if you get any sense of anything funny going on, you have the right to call an end to it. But he has to understand what an emotional risk you'd be taking if you decide to be with him again - and I think you have a right to explain that to him very clearly, too. And to let him know that this is the last time that you're going out on a limb like this. Because you do need support during your pregnancy and you deserve to have love in your life - and if he's the one (and I can't say that he's not) then maybe he's just screwed up up until this point. But that's something only time will tell, and I don't know if you want to put yourself out there again like that. I honestly can't say what I would do in your shoes, but I'm pretty sure I'd be feeling the same mix of emotions you're experiencing. But I think you really have to look into your heart and listen to your gut on this one. You might want to give it a bit more thought (I don't know if you pray or meditate, but many people find these helpful when trying to come to a decision like this) before you make your final decision. Either way, I wish you luck - and I hope it works out the way you want it to.
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