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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 278
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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What could cause a person to be very happy and emotionally

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What could cause a person to be very happy and emotionally attached, almost to the point of smothering for months then withdraw completely, lie about being sick in extreme detail, and become emotionally abusive?

Heidi LPC :

Hi there! I am hoping to be of some assistance to you here... I am wondering if maybe the person has some reason to disconnect, but is lacking the ability to be honest about this reason?


Heidi LPC :

Quite possibly, there are more details that may help me to give some suggestions, however I see that you are currently offline... I will await your reply or any further information, and we can pick it up from there! Thank you for using the site! We will chat again soon! :-)


Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We were in a relationship and it had been getting serious. He brought up moving in together and constently said he wanted to marry me and talked about our future. He was very affectionate and warm to me and everyone around him. We had agreed to introduce our children, which he acted excited about and then he vanished for a few days. When he contacted me again he said that he found out that pains he had been having in his back since I met him were kidney cancer. He went into a serious depression, even talking to me about his funeral arrangements and what should go to whom. He started to become more distant then out of nowhere became very cruel and verbally abusive. He would brake it off then come back apologizing and talking about the cancer therapy, this happened a few different times. He has now claims that he never had cancer. The person he was before "got cancer" and the way he is now are two completely different people. I would just like to understand what would make a person go from warm and loving to lying about something as serious as this and very cruel.
This sounds somewhat like a person with a personality disorder, or even quite possibly someone who is living some type of double life. People who are sociopathic are generally very charming individuals at first, who draw you in with their charisma... but who have limited ability to feel sincere emotion and can easily deceive and hurt others to suit their own needs. It sounds as if you are a trusting person who was an easy victim to someone who had his own interests, and only himself, in mind. I am sorry that you had to get caught up in a web like this; these types of people rarely change, and don't see a need to no matter how many people they victimize. I hope that you know you are not at fault for trusting him; your radar will improve towards these "too good to be true" types due to this situation and you won't allow yourself to be taken advantage of ever again. But, use this lesson for good; you will find an honest, caring person next... and don't give people like him the power to close your heart! Keep it open, and real love will come along when you least expect it!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I just couldn't comprehend how a person is capable of being so loving and caring then cruel and malicious while lying about having a deadly illness like this. Thank you for your response.
Yes, there are some people in our world who have been damaged beyond repair, and who just use others while having no feelings of remorse... or even an understanding of why they do the things they do. I wish for you a happy, healthy relationship in your near future! :-)
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