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DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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I have ocd phobic behavior porn addiction. I get phobicWhen

Customer Question

I have ocd phobic behavior porn addiction. I get phobic
When I have sex or masterbate. Thinking I broke my
Penis or bent it. I avoid walls trash cans trees kitchen counters
Etc. I have to protect my penis at all costs. I make sure
I don't bump into anything that comes in contact with my
genitals. Have a hard time getting up from the toilet. My mind
Plays with me accuses me or convince me I damage my dick.
What is this hell I'm facing. I can't sleep thinking about
Past damage if any.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Friend,

You have described your situation well, calling it OCD phobic behavior. Your exact phobia can be called traumatophallophobia. or fear of injury to your penis.

Like all phobias, which are anxiety related, as is OCD, it can be cured with a certain type of therapy called Exposure Therapy. This does not involve exposing yourself, by the way, but rather by exposing yourself to your fears, slowly, and habituating youself to them until you make the fears go away.

Many therapists specialize in phobias but you can also help yourself using certain techniques that are well explained in writing. The absolutely best book for this kind of help is:

Mastering Your Fears and Phobias: Workbook
(Treatments That Work) by Martin M. Antony, Michelle G. Craske and David H. Barlow


This book will give you the confidence and show you how to proceed to use Exposure and Prevention Therapy, and other techniques to reduce and eliminate this disorder.

It might also help to relieve your day to day stress by wearing a hard cup jock strap while you are undergoing your therapy or self-help.

I hope that this proves useful to you. It is really not that hard to eliminate phobias.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
The information help but what do I do for meanwhile. I have
For example getting off the toilet. Fear bumping my dick.
I have to face challenges everyday. Reading a book may help
but not everybody is book orinitated.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

If you are not book oriented then you will have to see a psychotherapist: a clinical mental health counselor, a clinical social worker, or a clinical psychologist. It will not go away just by writing me a letter.

I have you excellent advice and you gave me negative feedback on my permanent record. I gave you an excellent professional and caring answer and I ask you to give me positive feedback and accept my answer. I have helped you in good faith and I like to be compensated with positive comments. I actually do this for a living.

Thank you so much.

I urge you to make an appointment with a professional. This obsessive phobia will not disappear by itself, but can be made to go away with some therapy sessions.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I understand his credintals and what he does. But I need someone to work with me not brush me away to go see
A therepists or other help. He sounded to negative but disguised as a helpful individual. Making fun of my intelligence. Don't get me wrong he had great advice. But
I don't need a billboard doctor. I need someone concern
And willing to help.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.

I know that the subject of one's penis is a very sensitive one for men. I'm guessing that even coming to this site with this topic was not the easiest thing. I hope that I can give you some help.

It sounds like you already know that the problem is OCD. The previous Expert was right about the type of therapy that works, Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP). But is sounds like you are looking for some support and ideas that you can use before pursuing psychotherapy --something you can use today.

The knowledge that it is OCD can be helpful in terms of how you talk to yourself while the worry is happening. Let's start with the fear of getting off of the toilet. You want to talk to yourself (even out loud if you are alone) and be compassionate --"Yes, I am worried about bumping my penis, but really that's an OCD thought. I am being careful as I step up from the toilet, and I am not going to bang it. Even if it touches the toilet, it's not going to hurt my penis. It's the OCD that thinks this is a possibility." It's OK to put your hand on your penis as you get up --not that it's necessary, but just because you start to talk to yourself this way, it doesn't mean that it's going to immediately work.

I'd like to get your feedback about this idea --thoughts, concerns that you have. The toilet issue might be the easier of the issues to start with.

DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience: I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
DrFee and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for the Accept and positive feedback. However, please know that I am willing to interact with you further (no additional charge) on this issue if you like.

Warm Regards,

Dr. Fee

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I think your great. But say that I do feel there's damage how do supposeTo think. And will I remember what really happen. How do I handle this.I also have porn addiction. I'm able to abstain better. But I'm recoveringGetting sober. But I'm sore still. Everyday activity it use to be.theOcd would accuse after sex saying I broke it or bent it. So I'm abstainingI do take male enhancement to get bigger. I just want to have a wifeAnd kids. Took the wrong path. I feel like a vampire leaving the houseAt night only. I'm affraid of trees kitchen counters wallsEspecially wall near the toilet. I have to sit down on toilet to re assure i didnt hit the wall when I piss. Affraid of any it most interactions that may bring harm.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

Believing that there's no damage to your penis is going to be tricky --because it's a deep fear. A start would be to get a physical examination and be told by a doctor that there is indeed no damage. You still probably won't believe that at first (I'm basing this statement on my 20+ years of experience working with people who are afraid of physical things) --however, after going to the doctor having him/her tell you it's not damaged, then you can add to your self-talk, "My penis is not indeed damaged. I'm only afraid it is. Just because I believe it's damaged doesn't mean that it's true."

I have another approach where I have people become "really conscious" of what they are doing in the moment --and talk it through --so for example during sex you could say to yourself, "I'm having sex normally. Nothing bad is happening. Later I will remember that I did glide in and out with no problems." When the OCD attacks later, you remind yourself of how you talked to yourself -- you are trying to solidify the memory of how the event really went. You can take this example and change it to fit other scenarios.

Please try to be encouraged. These problems are not a sentence to having a life of no wife/kids or even a porn addiction. However, it does take some time and effort and can certainly feel insurmountable. How do you feel about seeking professional help? We could talk about how to choose a therapist if you like.

I would be more than happy to follow up with you a few more times for this question.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It looks like it starting to work. But now I'm feeling a little
Uneasy. I went walking down town I went by poles that
I didn't do well before. The only problem is I stood by a wall
Reading a menu. I put my hand on the wall that's all I can remember. I walked further got to a hamburger stand. I'm eating sitting there. What I'm trying to say is I need more
Time with this new approach. What about situations for example putting your clothes etc. And you didn't talk. And let's
Say you reflect back. And you don't remember the tasks because they are not as importance. What then for example
Which did occur. I was changing shirts I notice an erection
As I was changing. However hrs later I reflected. Then now
I'm concern in the fact maybe I hit it with my hand. But I didn't use that approach then. So then what. Just bear with me. I know you are helping. Just give me time to make sense of this

Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

Yes, you will need time to make sense of it, and the help I've been trying to give you is not likely to be enough. I'm mainly trying to have you see that something can be done and give you hope that you can continue with a therapist who specializes in OCD.

I would say that in the situation you just described say, "There's no reason to believe that I damaged my penis by changing my shirts. It's the OCD again." Because the fact of the matter is, you'd have to hit it incredibly hard in order to really hurt it --like if you got hit by a baseball or aggressively punched or kicked by someone. You aren't going to damage it even if you accidentally hit it while changing. That's what you need to remind yourself anytime you start to think that "maybe I hurt it when......."

Have you ever seen someone who actually has been hit in the groin --usually this would occur while watching football or soccer --they curl to the ground in a fetal position, and in intense pain.

Above all ---be patient and caring to yourself.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Wow that makes sense. I went walking after I ate lunch. Then I
Went to the store. As I was leaving opening the glass door every
Body looked at me funny because I open the door to slow. A woman
On the other side kept it open for me very helpful. I got distracted
Twice today mostly. Crossing the street there were cars parked.
I got distracted 2 girls caught my eye. So I crossed didn't remember
If I bump into a car. Now I remember your example but its hard
for me still sore. And that soreness the ocd uses it as a footstool
To torture me. Another distraction is I was walking and I saw a
Neighbor across the street. I can't stand those dumpsters with
Claw forks sticking out of them. I stop looked back at the trash cans
Trying to make sense of things..I talked through it but I got distracted
I'm trying very hard for your advice. I wasn't on the ground just stood there
There
I've been having ocd for months. Just I ask for time. I.just want to
say thx for saving my life. I'm no angel I'm guilty of what I have made
Choices in my life. I'm getting help so I don't hurt someone or further
Damage. I want to sleep tonight. My ocd is stronger at night. What
May have started this. I want peace.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

The exact cause of OCD is really not known, although genetics appear to play a large role. Overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame may play a role, as may stress.

By the way, medication can be really helpful for slowing down the thoughts. You'd want to go to a Psychiatrist --which I know can be scary.

When you say "sore" do you mean that your penis is actually sore? Is it a feeling that comes when the OCD thoughts come up and leave when they pass?

I hope that you get some good sleep tonight ---

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
OK I'm about to go to bed. I was talking what I was going to do
During restroom . Except going to the kitchen. My ocd said I hit
A wall that is a corner wedge. That corner is kinda sharp. So what I did
I stalled and if I did hit hit why I'm I in the kitchen getting something
To drink. Why I'm I not screaming. I walked why didn't I noticed.
So I did that. And it kinda helped. The only thing is I walked to close to
The wedge to investigate. The ocd like grabed my arm and said
Get over here. Your method almost worked completely. And your
right genetics does play a role my sister has it. She is always always
Asking her daughter did you put a quarter in your mouth. I'm a little
Shaky that I was to close to the wall wedge. I just need practice and
Confidence. I'm feeling some inflammation in the penis. But I explain
To my doc. Like I said my ocd needs an attachment to be strong.
My soreness helps the ocd. When my penis is strong no sex recovered
I'm able to control the ocd better. Because its an assurance I have that
There's no damage
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

It's such a tough disorder to battle. I'm glad I could help a little, but I really can't offer you enough in this format. I do want to encourage you to find a caring specialist. You can get it under control so that it's not controlling you!

Warm Regards

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I went to the behavior center. I talked to a doctor. She is going to get me on paxil 20 mil.
for 2 weeks with another pill. She had to fill out info on her computr. All of my story. She wants me off the all natural enhancement pills. She said its bring hormonal situations.
I couldnt talk through every encounter at the clinic. Walls stairs Raillings esspecially
railings. Too much at once to deal with. I walked to the computer lab down town. My
ocd knows what im trying to do to it it has ears. So it attacks all its got. It attacked me
its greatest ever in the restroom before my walk away from the clinic. I couldnt talk through
it would throw thoughts like a machine gun. Overwelming. She thinks a jock strap could help. I didnt get an erection like usual most every 10 15 20 min. Not typical. So ocd is using that footstool it coulnt use the sorness as an anchor no longer. because im recovering. It tells me theres something wrong. But I havnt seen a urologist just an md.
I guess its ok. You have done so much. What or how do I overcome this. Everything thrown at me to fast. I dont want to go back to the clinic for the doc to check my penis.
just came from there. I thought what you said about being on the ground. That didnt happen. So many telephone polls and dumpsters. I have to go to the drug store. Im going to abstain from sex probably for couple of months. I asked about my enhancement pills. She said first things first. She cant guarantee anything that i should go back. This is hard for me to give up sex masterbation and porn. Because iv done it so long. I must do it in order to get rid of this hell.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

It's true you need to be very patient, you can't solve the entire problem all at once -- you can only do a little bit at a time. Going to the Beh. Center was a big deal, give yourself a little bit of time to recover from all of that. I'm hoping that when you go back it won't be quite as overwhelming because you'll have already been there.

Masturbation might be OK, because you have total control --so why don't you abstain from sex and just try masturbation, you can remind yourself that you have control and that you are not going to hurt yourself.

You really need to be nice to yourself for each step you take. You've taken a LOT of steps in the past few days. Don't worry about what comes next, just try to focus on what you are doing today (and say that every day). It sounds like you are doing a good job of getting help and trying to help yourself. Please be patient!

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Your right I need to be patient. Something I'm not good at. I did
Something stupid. I came home from my walk. I was hungry. I
was in the house and feeling sleepy. Very sluggish. I was laying
On my back. I started to get an erection. I didn't pull it out. It
Came on its own. I appologize for telling u this. I mean no disrespect
forgive me. So I started to get excited. I made a promise to a MD doc no sex or masterbation for awhile. Anyway I must of had the erection in my pants. I forgot to loosen my pants completely. Little tight. So i thought i pulled my dick down as i was pulling down my clothing. I'm not in pain. I'm emailing a MD about this. I don't want to keep anything from you. That's
why I'm telling you. I blame myself and porn for this. This is a touchy issue that happened. I guess I'm a troubled person. I'm sorry for telling you this. You have been very helpful and



You always give me confidence. I will never forget. I'm tired and I want to get some sleep.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

It's no problem, really. I can see that it is a very sensitive and painful issue for you.

 

There's no reason to blame yourself. You didn't cause the problem. Porn can cause some problems (or be a symptom of some problems) but it did not cause this particular problem.

 

So, in addition to being patient, you also need to be nice and compassionate with yourself.

 

I hope that it's helped to write a bit about it and that you will find a compassionate therapist to help you face to face as well.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey Dr. Fee

This is Dave. I'm having sorta of an attack. I stayed all day home.
I was using the restroom sitting on the toilet. I put my hand near
my penis to scratch my scrotum. I had an immagination that I grabed
My dick and bend it how ever I wanted . I don't know why I thought
Of it my ocd fed of of it and attack me. I thought it was based only
on fear. I don't feel pain. Since my hands were near genitals its
Difficult for me to choose which reality happened. What do I do.
Everything else was fine earlier. I had more confidence I rested.
I have to get my meds tomorrow. I need to calm down. I'm a smart
Guy with chess abilitys and great imagination. Can you steer me back
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I'm calming down closing my eyes. I'm being patient feeling a littleBetter. I'm getting my meds tomorrow. I remember what youSaid I would be in serious pain on the ground. Can you help meBelieve. Somehow I've could of been more gentle talking to youInstead of panic mode. It seem selfish of me. I need you don'tGive up on me. I know its a burden. Could you address my last reply.With altered thinking I should have. I think you are a good doc sorry about my last rating. Help me understand you better. I need alot of confidence.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

Hi Dave,

 

It's OK -- you don't have to rate every time, you can choose to "continue to work" with the Expert.

 

There will be times where you have to "choose" which reality to believe, but keep in mind that the "OCD reality" while very compelling, is never the real truth. Maybe you need something to remind you of this when you are faced with the choice --written on an index card or something like that. Or print out some of what I've said here.

 

Yes, an injury to that area involves serious pain --there's no way around it. You can't seriously hurt yourself simply by putting your hands near your genitals.

 

I hope that by the time you read this, you will have relaxed even more and have gotten some good sleep.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It seems im doing better. I havnt took my meds yet. I just got it today. Im able to move faster not stalling as much. Im been drinking vitamin water. Some excercise but need more. Eating little healthier. My ocd is not as bold. Ativan is been something i need to take if i get to much anxiety. My urine
sample came out normal. but having inflamation symptoms talking to a urologist might have to make appointment. thx for everything keep u posted.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.
You are welcome. Remember that healing will be a process, not something that happens overnight. You will need to work hard in therapy and take the meds as prescribed. Hang in there, it will be worthwhile!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I took Paxil before bed. I woke up this morning OK. I was able to
Move around better. I still don't like the wall near toilet. But I'm not
As phobic about it. I was openning a chest drawer for a shirt. There
Was a mirror facing a side of me. The way I stood fed me an image
That I was behind someone in front of the chest drawers having sex.
I would move Myself like I was. Then bam ocd. Your hitting your penis
On the chest. That's not true because there's space between me and cabnet. I remembered what you said there would have to be serious
Damage. Instead I'm laying in bed. The funny thing is not as panicky.
I'm concerned. I've been abstainning very little porn 10percent. Compared to 80. I'm drinking alot of vitamin water. Eating healthier.
I'm going back to bed. My ferret woke me. I have to keep moving don't
Stand in 1area too long.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

That sounds really positive! The good thing about writing this stuff down is that you can look back and see the progress that you've made.

It sounds like you are working really hard at talking to yourself!

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey doc. I took my meds last night. Feeling able to move freely somethings are hard like the wall in the restroom. I'm feeling very angryalmost in rage. Because lately I havnt been erecting lost my labido.I havnt been looking at porn. I went to a dating site and now I lostConfidence so I left the site. I feel my power is gone. These new changesHave left me without identity. I'm feeling kinda deppresed. I'm sorryTo tell you this. I don't know where to go from here. I'm angry will IEver satisfy a woman. I don't want what I went through with my ex. Ifeel kinda violent. But I'm slowing down. This thought hit me when I wasPlaying chess. A feeling of worthless man can't produce. I emailed a docHe said I'm recovering is the reason why no erections. I feel strippedI'm I worth something to anyone besides eating breathing taking up space. I have suicidal thoughts because I don't know what purpose I have now. I won't do it though. I would be to scared to. I feel alonewho I'm I why I'm I here. I don't want society to think I'm gay becauseI can't get a girl. I'm I not a man. I guess I'm going totake a pill ativan to calm me it will put me to sleep.The doc said if u get anxiety take the pill. So I guessI'm going to sleep. Sorry for being negative.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

It's OK to be negative. You have a lot to work through. Are you seeing a therapist regularly, by the way?

Hang in there --feelings pass, both good feelings and bad ones. But, yes you do need to address the issue of your identity --you are a valuable person with or without OCD!

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey doc my ocd is not as bad today. Able to walk more freely. I still
need work on the wall near toilet and a few areas. For some reason my
Libido is really down. I don't want sex. I'm not craving porn or anything
Related. I'm playing chess and I have to take a pill now. Soon again I'm
going to get drowsy and sleep. My penis is sore some inflamation can't
Erect it. I think its serious. But the doc thinks I'm recovering because of
Sex addiction. I hope he's right. I'm now sitting on my bed thinking about
My life. Earlier I had ice cream and some corned beef hash. Thinking I need protein to help recover. I guess I'm going to sleep shortly.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

I encourage you to trust your doctor!

Things are sounding positive, that's good news!!!

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Happy 4th. I can't sleep restless. I took paxil as prescribed before bed. I guess the problem was I slept most the day. My ocd is attacking
Me as I'm tossing and turning saying my hand hit my genitals. I think
Its a cheap shot. My ocd is there but its getting weaker unless I choose to stall or dwell. My mind now is taking me back to my past experience
In the church. That I'm a loser backslider that wanted to sleep with wives. I used to be great christian helpful attentive. But my pastor didn't
Like me he thought I was unstable because I had no father. And I could
Rebel against him. He was very controling. He would use his daughter
Years back when I was new to entice me excite me to keep new members in the church. I was somewhat innocent then. The pastor would tell me that I'm there in the church to take over the devils office.
and he would keep an eye on me. I never cause trouble. Some rumors
I heard were that I looked like lucifer. That I will never be a pastor a husband or father. Some members would write messages to me and say
go home devil. You half breed . I don't know why I reflected this. I just want to get it out. I'm not a loser. I'm going to try to get some sleep.why
Couldn't I sleep.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

What you describe on the part of the pastor and/or other members of the church sounds very abusive to me. It sounds like you need some healing/processing from that whole experience. And, yes, as the OCD symptoms get weaker, issues like this one that need attention will start coming to your mind.

I agree, you are not a loser!

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Today I lost my best friend. He died in my arms. I'm off the meds.my
Ocd is very weak. No porn or risky behavior for 2 months. I quiet seeing the doc. I've been out of work. And I have been sleeping everyday 16hrs or more. I'm becoming good. Im now reading my bible. But I'm scared
of good. Since I clean up or sober up I don't know how to go on. My friend is my ferret. He would lick my eyes to wake me every morning.
I'm feel so guilty because I neglected him. For example previous before
ocd. I would look at porn for hrs and then masterbate. He would touch my legs to get my attention and I would ignore him. I was a monster. We used to be closer walk him at the park. I had no right to be that way. I'm crying now ashamed. Before he died in my arms I was bathing him. I don't know what to do now. I'm thinking suicide. But I can't. There's been some type of brain sensation I feel when I get up from sitting or movement like a baloon expanding big then small. I cleaned my house days ago it was trashy. I know my ferret wasn't happy with the mess. I did something about it. His kidneys failed I try to save his life. He collapsed looking at me. Why was I a monster. Why was I blind. Why do I hurt the things that I use to love. I'm going to change. I'm deppressed scared guilty can't sleep. How can I overcome. I believe he is in heaven. I spent hrs making casket. Dressed him. I cried over him. My head is spinning. I havnt shaved or bathed in months. I don't worry about the walls as much. I'm doing the best I can. There's good in me. I will never forget my friend. I sleep during daylight. Im up at 7 or so till 6 or 7am.
I have one more ferret with me. The house is quiet now. Guilty guilty guilty. I feel. I spoiled him bathed him walked him. At the time of ocd and porn I did less for him. Do u think he loved me still when I had problems.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.
I am so sorry for the loss of your ferret. What was his name?

Don't make any major decisions while you are grieving, and don't rush the process. It's OK to be sad and hurt for your best friend.

Animals are very patient, very forgiving, I think we can learn a lot from them. Feeling guilty is a normal feeling after losing someone that we love so much. But, guilt will never help you, only hurt you.

I don't know if you will find this video comforting as it is about "Dog" rather than "Ferret." Also, it will probably make you cry, so if you don't feel like crying you may not want to watch it. I think in this case the same concepts apply though. The point is love and forgiveness --which is sounds like you need to be reminded of both right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H17edn_RZoY

Please go easy on yourself.

Again --I am so sorry. Give your other Ferret a hug--

Dr. Fee
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for sharing my loss. My ferrets name is child
Crash chewbacca ca ca the first. I believe he is in heaven and if not in heaven. I'm sure he will make a great warrior to help christ. My ocd trying to disract me. I will do more for my other ferret. Yes I will hug him. What about my sleep pattern. Crash is in the freezer until I bury him. Crash used to chase me and jump at the park. I would feed him honey.
People would look with amazement. Or make fun of me. I didn't care.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.
That is sweet.

It's hard to sleep while you are grieving.


Are you familiar with the 5 stages of grief?
1. Denial (disbelief that the loss occurred)
2. Anger: (Can be at Child, God, yourself, another person, etc)
3. Bargaining (If only I had _________ (fill in the blank), then the Child wouldn't have died)
4. Depression: Sadness over the loss
5. Acceptance: You never forget, but acceptance involves getting to a place where you can live your life again and are not so heavily weighed down by the loss.

The stages do not necessarily occur in order, and you can go back and forth between them before the grieving is over.

I will give you some instructions for 2 relaxation techniques...they might help a bit.

The first is breathing:

This is called the 4 by 4 breathing exercise because you should practice it for 4 minutes 4 times a day to learn to do it well. If you are able, do this with your eyes closed, imagining a pleasant place. This is calming and designed to help you manage stress. There are two important things to learn about breathing:

1. Learn how to breathe from your diaphragm (from your tummy area) and make that pattern a part of your daily life.

2. Become skilled at shifting to diaphragmatic breathing whenever you begin to feel stressed.

Natural Breathing

1. Gently and slowly inhale a normal amount of air through your nose, filling only our lower lungs. Place your hands on your tummy so that you can feel it rising and falling with each breath. Count to 5 slowly as you do it.

2. Exhale slowly through your lips, counting to 5 as you do so.

3. Continue this slow, gentle breathing with a relaxed attitude, concentrating on filling only your lower lungs.

4. As you breathe, slowly repeat the word “relax” or “calm” or some other word which means the same to you.

If you have difficulty following the above instructions:

1. Lie down on a rug or your bed, with your legs relaxed and straight, a book on your tummy and your hands by your side.

2. Let yourself breath normal easy breaths. Notice what part of our upper body rises and fall with each breath. Rest a hand on that spot. If that place is your chest, you are not taking full advantage of your lungs. If the book is moving up and down, then, congratulations, you are doing it right!

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is an extension of this normal process. With one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen, take a slow, deep breath, filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs. When you exhale, let your upper lungs go first (causing your upper hand to drop), then your lower lungs (causing your lower hand to drop).

Reminder: Too many deep breaths, instead of natural breaths in a row, will produce a sense of lightheadedness. This is not harmful; just return to natural breathing.

Practice

Natural slow breathing and the deep slow breathing several times each day. Practice natural breathing for a period of at least 4 minutes, 4 times a day. The object is to train yourself to breathe from your diaphragm most of the time.

The second is Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) --don't do this one if you have significantly LOW blood pressure:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Rationale: It is not physically possible to have a feeling of warmth, well-being, and relaxation in your body while experiencing emotional/psychological stress.

What it does: Progressive muscle relaxation reduces pulse rate, blood pressure and decreases perspiration and respiration rates.

Who should use it: All of us can benefit from a lifestyle that involves more relaxation. However, Progressive muscle relaxation is particularly useful for the following problems: Insomnia, depression, anxiety, muscle tension, fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, muscle spasms, neck and back pain, high blood pressure, phobias, and stuttering.

Time to Truly Master: Two 15 minutes sessions per day for one to two weeks.

Which Muscles? Do you know which of your muscles are chronically tense? Some do, but most people don’t. One thing Progressive Muscle relaxation will teach you is how to tell the difference between the sensation of tension and the sensation of deep relaxation. We will cover four major muscle groups:

1. Head, face, throat and shoulders
2. Biceps, forearms, hands
3. Chest, Stomach, Lower Back
4. Thighs, buttocks, calves, feet

Basic Instructions: You need 10-20 undisturbed minutes. You can sit or lie down. You might play some soothing music or have complete silence.

You will be quickly tensing each muscle group for 5 to 7 seconds, quickly releasing and then relaxing for 20 to 30 seconds. You might do abdominal breathing in between muscle groups, focus on a pleasant scene, and/or recite a self soothing statement or comforting Bible verse (i.e. “The Lord is my Shepherd….”)

Example: Clench your two fists as tight as you can, hold it, hold it, hold it, notice the tension in your wrist. Quickly let it go. Feel the looseness in your hands and wrists, notice how different it feels from when you had it tensed. Repeat one more time.


I hope this helps you!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank u doc. I have used some of the methods to overcome loss
its been couple of weeks since his death. I'm taking care of his brother.
I have been off the meds from ocd. I'm not struggling as much. Very very
Minor. I took up chess like before. I'm going to church more and reading my bible getting connected. I'm closer to my pet and family. However yesterday a older woman invited me to bible study. I couldn't make it. I couldn't sleep all night. I for some reason went on the internet and searched old women porn. I been off porn previously for months maybe 3. I masterbated between 3am on up. I went to it again today noon. I havnt left the house. I can't concentrate well guilt and scared and stressed. I don't want my old life. I was wondering is it ok to talk to my phone provider about blocking the porn on my cell. I was doing very well until yesterday. I've been spending time at the park and being energetic. What do I do.
Expert:  DrFee replied 2 years ago.

I think it's a great idea to get the porn blocked on your cell, that's a good deterrent.

The most important thing is don't beat yourself up, just move forward from here! Go out today too --back to the park, Starbucks, where ever you want. Today is a new day and a new chance to do all the things you've been doing that have been helpful!

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