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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi steven, well we are still action packed here. my dad called

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hi steven, well we are still action packed here.
my dad called and aske dif i was working later in the week - since i had the problemns with my schedule being changed. so i said no the next 6 weeks im on sun mon tue. peter is doing the schedule again and he put me back on. so my dad says well mom told me to call b/c shes too busy (doing what? its such bullshit. my dads at work but he has time to call?) so he says we can do thur or fri. my dad is off fridays. anyway so i tell him no its mon tue wed, and hes like oh i miss the baby. so i said i know. theyre getting ready to actually leave for eddies sons wedding this weekend theyre driving to boston. so my dads like well ill let mommy know. now my other problem is my mil cant watch kate tuesday b/c she works the board of elections. why theyre doing soemthing on tuesday i dont know. so now im stuck without babysitting. so i said to rob what should we do? so he says i can see if i can take drawings and work from home. and answer emails and make calls etc. so is aid ok. my other option is to ask my friend kathy and see if she can do it. my only concern with that is kates met them but she hasnt seen them in awhile. my m il says call your dad and tell them is there anyway possible they can do tuesday, but i really dont wnat to beg. they said they cant do anything but thur fri, im thinking our best bet is rob just staying home and working.

before i could make a decision if i should call my dad, we lost power for 3 hrs. so i couldnt make dinner and i i had dishes that needed dishwashing and wet clothes in the washer as always. my cell was essentially dead b/c i took all these calls, my dad, rob and my mil on it and i hadnt charged it. sigh. again as always. luckily the power cam eback..
and i am picking this up where i left it. as soon as i wrote the power came back, we lost power again!!!!
bastards. so we were out and came back and weve been flickering. it goes off and comes right back or it dims. i hate this b/c i feel like i cant trust that well have power. and frankly i feel very amish without power. and when it comes back on i party like its 1999. i hate not feeling like i cna trust that we have electric. thats for sure.
i called jen who has power and told her bad news.. she has some overnight guests, and let chris know (her husband) that i sleep in the nude. jens like thats awesome liz. i said it is it is. all joking aside i alreayd told rob were going to hotel if theres no power. were going to be 97 today and frankly i cant take it. i know i am abig baby. but i also like to use kate as an excuse. she cant take that heat either. i didnt let her go out to play due to the heat yest. i told her its too hot. she was upset, but my thermometer outside said 96 at 8am. i figured it wasnt going to get any better.

different news. at my grandmothers funeral when i saw dads friend eddie whos a vice president at con e d and is my dads boss - i said eddie get my husband a job. what happened to nepotism? he laughed and siad has he been applying? i said not since last year he applied all those times. so he said tell him look at the website. so i told rob apply for jobs. so robs like ok. i didnt have time to bust robs chops yet.. so apparently he did. so he emailed eddie who responded and told my dad he did.. so my dad said call eddie after the wedding. he wants rob to come to his house this week. so eddie already forwarded robs resume in an email to bosses saying he recommends rob. and rob already got a call. i am so happy its not funny steve. ill tell you why. con ed has great benefits. its steady, theyre not laying people off. theyre in fact hiring. alot. they need engineers/ supervisors. and they need union too. i should go work there. im sure i have better discipline than 99% of people who work there. otjher than eddie and my dad. who both work very hard there. and i already told rob dont tell anyone you know my dad. b/c con ed doesnt let bil work together or even married in families work together. eddie and my dad arent related and my dad keeps it very down low that thyere the best of friends. but if rob makes more money and has good benefits i cna cut back in awhile. work 2 day sa week and maybe work per diem. and not carry the medical. and robs like. hey that may mean we can retire!!! which i laughed at. i told him my parents dying will be our retirement as his family has nothing and im sure ill have to pay for the funeral. and you might say isnt that money yours and robs? no its mine. sorry. and you can buy the stock at a reduced rate.
so my mil called in all this excitement and i made the mistake of telling her and she told me how that co is a shitty co to work for and i know her friends kid works there as an engineer and he hates it and he was hired by eddie and hes leaving etc. now i was so highly insulted by that steven b/c eddie and my dad and rob (and my grandfather) are truly the best men i know.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Just wanted to nab this off the main board. Will get to it as soon as I can. Steven
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
thx steven
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Took me a lot longer to get to this than I expected. Sorry.

 

Oh, how I remember the stress of finding sitters. (my family is not useful like this either. We were always on our own.

 

When family dumps you like this, you have little choice but to have one of you stay home. Now Rob, he is ideal, but Kate is also at an age when she is going to gain some significant social benefits from staying with a family friend that you can trust. Don't worry too much at the thought. Really. I know what that kind of statement often elicits emotionally in parents of children Kate's age, but it is true that she would gain benefit. And, she is age ready. Plus she is very bright and needs these new social relationships to push her further developmentally. This is just food for thought. The final choice is yours of course.

 

Your lucky I am old enough to get your sense of heat humor with the Prince joke. And, yes...we were in the same boat the other day. The transformers blow from the heat and the load and they switch on and off as they cool. Fun. You never know how much work you will lose, or what thought will be lost on email.

And, you do think as we do about the heat. If you need to go to a hotel, go. It is too hot otherwise and you are pregnant. That combination is awful and I was never pregnant, just saw the results. I also can say that Kate would be better off too. You are not a baby, past 90 it is dangerous and combine that with no electric. I get it. We call the electric company and demand to have our bill prorated when the transformers blow. They often cut the bill as a result.

 

Look, if Rob can get a better paying job with better benefits and you can stay home more often, and it gives you some social, and financial breathing room, good. Do it. It doesn't matter who hired who and why. That is how the world works, through relationship.

 

When you hear from these people who discourage you from making a move for your family you can bet that it is not a good thing. I often tell people this little known truth. In the original language discouragement, the word...well, the "dis" part of the word mean "to satanize". That is, to bring the father of lies into a circumstance. So, good advice and caution is one thing; that is wisdom, but discouragement is never of God and is miserable and is to be avoided. It serves no purpose and you can bet whoever is doing it is not on your side.

 

So, when you hear these type of things, take it as it is. Worth nothing. Instead, do what you can to improve your life. This is indeed a wonderful opportunity and may be exactly the best thing to come out of the funeral. Good from bad...that is great news. I hope Rob gets this job. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve. rob and i are back from date night. that right since 830pm. we went to an afternoon movie went to dinner pretty close by and drove the hell home. we also ran errands (yes joy of the never ending errands. i have more i just didnt want to ruin the day b y making it errand day) so kate got these little canteens that she loves at walmart. they are disney. i know. does she need this? prob not. but i bought her 3. at $6 a piece. crazy right? so 2 of them are broken. the straw doesnt work. can you imagine? so im pretty much like ok well just dump it. cuz ok its 12, but i have bigger battles to win. so rob says oh no. were going to return them. one was minnie and kat ecried real tears that she couldnt drink her seltzer from them. (yes i give her seltzer not soda though) i had to actually hold her while she kept saying daddy fix it? daddy fix it? stupid thing slike that break my heart. i told her not to worry i would get new ones. so off we went to walmart on date afternoon to buy canteens when i was there for 2 freaking hours yest. and no a/c the bastards. that show they keep prices low. no a/c. so we go back to the further one thats bigger and we get a whole bunch of stuff, a cutting board - i forgot that yest, new canteens that work, cookies, a rug for the kitchen and miracle grow. plus weed killer. yeah excitement. well were walking and then i see it. a little radio flyer tricycle thats all red. it has streamers and its metal. and pretty heavy for such a little bike. walmart has it for 44.99 it folds up to put in your car of i guess just for space. well i grab rob and im like were getting this for kate. so he says why? i said b/c shell love it. its summer. tricycle time. well rob luckily is there and relaizes a part is missing. the top to the back compartment wasnt there. its for her to put toys or whatvere shes bringing with her.. its like a little trunk. (i guess so if they run away they can take a toy and a banana?) so we didnt get it. and let me tell you i was so disapointed. there werent anymore. and it was so cute. i really wanted it for her. maybe ill go wed am on the way home from work and buy one at the other walmart.
so we went to the store and got robs dad a pie for dads day and went to the dry cleaners to get kates vomit coat. yes vomit coat. do i need to say more?
and then we saw avengers. and it was really good i liked it. unfortunately for rob and the rest of his life i like to pretend its mystery science theatre and talk and make fun of the characters thru the whole movie. yes. arent i a peach?

as far as my fmaily watching kate.. well i could complain i guess but wont. its 2 years theyre watching her and ive never been babysitterless. this has been the 1st scramble. so i think thats not too bad. i asked my bro and his wife - kate likes her alot aunt allison. well he said they cant do it allison is still working. my mil told me public school here is off mon and tue due to not taking snow days so thats what made me think she would be available. except my bro said shes not. i guess its possible. i mean shes 2 and weve never asked them to watch her. and my bro bil had an emergency no one could watch his kid and my bro stayed home from work and worked from home to watch that kid. so that makes me feel a little shitty. but well i guess you cant expect soemone to do that for you.
my friend kathy finally did text me while i was at the movies and said she can watch kate. so i texted her to call me tomorrow.
rob on the other hand got called for another huge co thats essentially his old jobs main competition. but its for electrical engineer. i hate for him tot ake a step back or to be stagnent. but he confessed finally that he hates this job. he hasnt really said much although he tells me they do thing slike they change policies without informing anyone and then they say well thats the policy and dont you know that and hes like when was that said? when did that change?
he said hes willing to work aty that big company and work his way up to project manager. i said ok. if he feels he must do that.. well then i guess he should. i just hope he doesnt take a pay cut. cuz his extra money the last year has been a big help and we need it. i otl dhim to see what con ed pops up with too. and well i am worried essnetially like after all my ball busting- if he takes that private job i cant ever ask for the con ed job again. b/c if hes willing to go somehwere else and con ed wanted to hire him. well i feel hes burned that bridge really. i also dont wnat to insult eddie. i think ym dad would be ok. but eddies really putting his neck out. ...
i guess well see what both offers.

i just felt like asking her i dont get why you wouldnt want your son to get a better job. and i know she thinks i push him and i do, but frankly soemtimes he needs pushing steven. i push him b/c i love him and know hes smart and know his bosses ask him questions. so to me thats bullshit. that always happened to me to at my old job my bosses would ask well this happened then what? and im telling them. who the f**k is the boss here? these people arent supposed to be trained by me or rob or my dad. theyre supposed to be ready made.
i dont get paid for this. i told the cno that was normal and liked me at my old job - she told me oh elizabeth youre one of our best nurses blah blah. and i said to her i want money not accolades. she laughed but its true. pay me. i work hard just pay me. give me a'free' parking spot in the city. i wont tell anyone. pls.

i hope kate doesnt freak on kathy. kathys daughter will be at school shes 5. i think theyd play well but most of the day she wont be there. and itll be just the 2 of them. so i hope kates not ina tailspin.
ill send a canteen itll be ok right?

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Hi Liz... I will answer this thread as soon as I can...Steven
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Your date night sounds like a really fun time. (not)

 

I really loved the Avengers movie and have to admit Hulk stole the show as did Tony Stark. (I am such a nerd.) And don't you just love mystery science theater? But I have to admit that if you did that in a good movie like this I would be ticked at you too. But Anyway:

 

You do know that you can go on the walmart website and order anything and have it shipped to the store for free. We do it all the time, and the stuff has always arrives quickly. Just a thought. But seriously, I know that having a date night turn into a Walmart night (afternoon) is no fun. And, I have been there any number of times. It just seems that these types of things happen more and more as the number of children in the family grows.

 

You are fortunate about having steady babysitters. I think once in two years is worthy of some sort of recognition. But that doesn't make it any easier when you do need someone. I have to comment: Are the kids in NY still in school? We have been long done.

I am glad your friend can watch Kate. That is very good on so many levels and I do not think that she will experience anything but good from this.

Oh, I can understand the awful process of hating a job, being offered something lower, and because of desperation wanting to take it. I would say: How could it hurt to see if the con-ed job would work out? Once in a lifetime openings like this do not happen often (I guess that is why they call it once in a lifetime, huh?) but you get my drift.

 

A few things in my clients' lives are consistent, but one is: When an opportunity to get something like this surfaces, it is worth postponing a great many things to see if it comes true. It just does not repeat, this window. And, if he does not wait it out and this other job is a bummer too, well...not good. I would wait to see if con-ed works out. After all, it would only be a short while to wait and it doesn't burn bridges like taking this other job might.

 

All good women push their husbands. I am convinced of it. And, go ahead and push. You are doing a great job and I mean it...there is no sarcasm there. Push away. Most men need it and Rob seems to. Use that skill and motive him. You are right. You see him for what he could be, in total. He does not. It is a self blind spot. Be his drill instructor and get him moving! I am all for that.

 

Kate may freak out a bit in the beginning with Kathy. Ignore it; steal yourself and walk out the door. Do not look back or let her see you upset. She may yell a bit, but the novelty of this will cause her brain to switch to "expore" mode once the fear is managed. That process is normal. Expect it. But it is good for her. Tell me how it goes. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven.
our date night wasnt too bad. i cant really really complain. rob was not annoyed and laughed ta my jokes thru the movie as i am well tiems to say soemthing fast enough without getting in the way of dialogue. i promise.
ive doen that since im ateenager and well people always laugh. ive never been decked. heck you may even find me funny.
the hulk was good. my favorite part was when the hulk and thor aND TONY STARK were fighting. i said to rob why dont they just take them out of the garages and measure already. my god.
and i liked captain america and tony and captain america saying go ahead, put on your suit, then well fight. im ready to fight, go put on your suit.
so so so true. i mean tony stark, big deal you have armor. if you put me in armor id be cool too. really.
i do order lots of stuff from lots of websites. but there is something about seeing something wanting it loving it and getting it.
i wanted to kate to get up yest and have her bike. thats all.

the kids in are still in school. yep ny drags this shit out til the very end. wednesday apparently is the end. im told long island gets out a few days earlier. who cares? i dont know.

well the private co is a big deal too apparently. and if they offe rhim soemthing great and con eds like youre night supervisor at less money... well i dont blame him. it depends on what con ed offers. rob will be the dreaded word "management' so he could be just a supervisor. or he could really be in engineering - heading up new projects or repairing stuff. i dont thin k rob wnats to go head to head with guys who are doing the job for 40 yrs. i know luckily my dad and rob and eddie will play nice. i ma not concerned anyone will piss anyone off or be unkind and i say that seriously. i know if rob became my dads boss they would be respectful of each other. con ed right now is hurtling towards a strike as the contract i sup the 30th theres no end in sight and my dad said hes getting his walking shoes. hes ready. the last time they were on strike was 30 years ago when my brother was just a month old or soemthing.

i want rob to be happy and be appreciated. that sall and well compensated. and i dont wnat him to go in to work and have these guys lay him off. they seem to be screwing up big time. and i dont wnat rob on a sinking ship. it is in the back of my mind that one day they may not be able to make payroll and its happened at hospitals here and people are owed thousands of dollars individuals who worked wherever b/c they didnt get 6 weeks of pay and lost all their vacation time that shouldve been paid out or whatever. and theyre still waiting yrs later. i know if theyre bankrupt well... well be out of luck. and what ver they owe him. we will also be out of luck.

i dont know if con ed is a dream job. honestly. ijust know its steady. it has good benefits. and i know he could advance there. i know they pay for your education. thats huge. cuz it could be 200k. you do you required 2 years that you owe them of course getting paid, and yoiu leave with bigger better opportunities.

i think rob knows that i mean the best and he agrees with it. b/c he wouldnt have applied or jumped on it so fast. or talked to ehad hunters who got him this opportunity to go to the huge private co. i just hate that his mother thinks im like an evil bitch.

last night .. well i kind of had a fight with dr a. i know you told me to stayy the f**k away from him and i try except he signed up for every one of my pts b4 dr b could. i stalked over to dr b and wtf? sign up for my pts. and he went to sign up for a guy and dr a put his name on it as we spoke. i received a pt who had a seizure. supposedly as i say. and the reason he had a seizure? his tooth hurt. so i went to him to assess him and i started asking questions and he wouldnt answer me. he finally said that his tooth was f**king killing him and he needed pain medicine. he wouldnt answer any more questions and wouldnt allow any more assessment to be done. what kills me is he couldnt talk b/c it hurt that much but he was able to waste a word by cursing at me. so i went to dr b and he said well til i see him im ot giving pain meds. so im like ok. and then dr a signed up for it. so he said well now i cant order anything. so i got stopped by another pt and family about soemthing else and was detoured on th wya back. i did feel the pt threatening. i worte my 'asessment' in the chart. so i tell the other nurs eim working with christine pls tell him i spoke to an er md and they need to see him 1st. so she does. i see him quite animated and at the end of the stretcher and im like crap is he getting more agitated? she comes back and im doing soemthing at a computer and she says hes pissed i didnt come back. i said whats the diff? he was rude.. and we communicated. so shes like hes an asshole. ok. so then dr a sees him. im in with the next pt and io hear dr a say well just so you know its 2 shots int eh muscle just so you dont think your nurse is exacting revenge on you. (im catching the tail end of the conversation btw..) so i walk back out and i see the drs orders and im going to get the meds. but the pt is calling me over. i go over and the pts tries to grab my hand. i didnt have my hand prepared b/c i didnt. he said oh come on im not contagious. im at a loss for words and im like ok... he says i wanted to apologize but i was upset you didnt come back. i said well i got caught doing soemthing else so i asked my co nurse to coem to you. so he says well i wanted to congratulate you. so i say for what? he says on your preg. i said who told you that? he sais the other nurse said you needed to sit a minute cuz youre preg. i say nothing b/c i feel this isnt like stuff i want the pts to know. i do show but id rather them wonder if im just fat. i feel like if they know im preg im vulnerable. like ok ill punch her in the abd. and i dotn like them having the upper hand. so he says soemthing about how he knows preg women are moody and hormonal and i was going to say you know guy youre batting a thousand over here. youre such an asshole. so i say i have your meds ordered let me get them. i walk to the med room next to teh doc box and say to dr a why did you say id exact revenge on a pt? he says well he told me you 2 had a fight and didnt get along and he didnt like you. so i said well di you read my note? so he says yes i did. and then he says im expediting him b/c im worried about you and christines safety. so chris says ill pull the meds and go back. dont go to him anymore. im like whatever. so she goes and comes back and tells me how he sais i was rude and how can we fight if he wont alk to me? unbleievable.

more news to write/ report, but i felt so sleey. i eerp fallinmg asleep at the desk here...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I really am sure you are funny in the movies. You have a quick wit,funny as heck, but I probably would still find that annoying in a theater. At home on DVD that is funny as heck, cause I can rewind...but at the movies...So, you're the one always talking through the best parts! I knew it!

 

So what you are telling me about buying things is that you prefer immediate gratification? Oh....I get it. lol

 

NY school are still in? Wow, that is crazy. Most of the places I know were out at the end of May first week of June, latest, two weeks ago.

 

I know what you mean about Rob and seeing him through to whatever outcome is best. You are his wife and do support him. But I also know that you have a gist he does not, which is that immediate insight aspect. You see a bigger picture more easily than he does. As a result, it is okay to push him. And nothing can be decided anyway until the facts are known. Maybe ConEd isn't the dream or dreams, but it is still pretty good and the regular raises and steady health care and benefits can be enticing. I am sure the other company may not be able to meet the benefits and so on of ConEd, but I bet they can offer a lot more money. That is pretty typical public vs private. And I do see your point about the management role that he might play at ConEd. If there is one, he could become the hated role, and that is a hard role to play even if he has family supporting him...In any case, when there are more facts this will become more clear. But I do see you intervening and influencing this whole process because of your insight and drive.

 

His mother will probably never quite like you fully That is not all bad...is it? She has her personality issues that might make a close relationship with her, well, weird at best and even more controlling at worst.

 

I doubt I used those words to describe the distance you need to stay away from Dr a, but apparently I did make a good enough point that you remember it. (!)

 

Wow, the situation with Dr a was miserable wasn't it?

 

He seems to not give many opportunities to repair your relationship. Instead, he says things that can be interpreted as essentially leaving you to the wolves. (He is such a personality disorder.)

 

Even when he acts as though he cares somewhat about the fact you are pregnant, it comes at the cost of telling a patient about your physical condition, and that was just plain wrong. I agree. This made you vulnerable to a patient who was acting peculiarly in the first place. Who knows if in his anger the patient would have harmed you? But: Better he thought your were fat than pregnant. It makes you too exposed, too vulnerable to have him know your physical state.. I get why you would be so angry at Dr a. I would be too. And, this patient was a gem wasn't he? Combine the two personalities and you have a mini psych unit. I feel for you. This dr a, even when he tries to be "nice", has to hurt you in the process or make you look less than stellar. What a guy. And, how long was he married? I can see why his wife was so inconsolable about the divorce. She probably feels humiliated and wants him to feel the same. Interesting, that feeling, humiliation is what he, dr a, seems to like to make others feel. Steven

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steven. well maybe you misunderstood me... dr a didnt tell the pt im preg. the other nurse did when he said i was rude and didnt come back. then dr a said while i was standing there i guess after hearing that the pt said i was rude said well i have 2 shots for you, and i guess tried to make a joke that im not exacting revenge on him just so he knows. like thats how the med is given not like im deciding it.
i feel saying that i would ever exact revenge on a pt.. is just hurtful. like im not professional or ethical.
the nurse betrayed me by telling the pt im preg. and i feel the pt was trying to manipulate us and get us all mad at each other. whihc he did a pretty good job. b/c i was mad at the 2 of them. and i odnt know if dr a was mad that the pt said x y z, but i pointed out to him how could the pt and i have a fight if he refused to speak to me?
i mean i dont know if i was wrong to confront him but i think it was really unprofessional. and immature. would he like me to say that of him?

and then dr a to be like im trying to help you. yeah whatever. im worried about you and christine. oh yes i forgot how much anybody there cares what happens to me. i get drunks and drug addicts and psych and not like 2 pts. like 4. so any of them could juts flip and hurt me and the baby. and now at 19- 20 weeks.. well. im getting far enough ill be viable soon and if i hurt the baby it may not live due to its being way too premature.
i know this. ill go out on comp. ill do exactly what that nurse at my old hosp told me the one who sent me the threats via text? she told me that i shud got o a shrink tgell them im afraid, i cant go to work, i have nightmare and i cry all the time. i cant function at my job. let them put me out on psych. i have ptsd or what not and take the pills they give me and flush one down the toilet everyday. and fill my prescription. right on time. she said ill never hav e to work again. she may be right.

we have been having really bad torrential downpours here this am it took me forveer to get home, there was huge flooding. and then i t got sunny. and now its been sunny all day. i nknow cuz it wakes me up. and now i get up and 15 min after i get up its all starting again. im so pissed. i feel like risked my life driving home and now i have to risk it driving in again. i cantr believe its all starting again.
last night i heard sad news. a girl we work with who preg about 6 months. she had the exact same thing i did happen with my last one. she went to the dr and they said the baby died. so she got induced and and delivered and took pics with the baby and named it. when i heard it i felt like vomiting. i was so upset i went to the med room - not the most private but the closest place to cry. ive been so worried that its going to be me - the one everyone is whispering about. her baby died. and everyone knows and then they say thing s and some mean well i guess but soemhow they say stupid things like its better off you want a healthy baby etc. i know that is true but it still didnt mean i wanted my baby. it really bothered me for the night. well its still bothering me. i still dont feel this baby move and i dont wnat to go next week and hear at the same sono like i did last time - its the 5 month marker. liz the baby died. the girl whos baby died - sheila - she has a very weird affect to me and a labile mood. shes friendly one night and then the next shes rude. shes one of the ones who threatened us if you know what i mean.
i want to be kind and send her flowers... but im having a hard time getting anyone on board and i dont know her address. im going to see if we can do soemthing tonight... i also dont know what to say to her when she returns. and of cours ei feel guilty im still preg of course and shell have to look at us preg.

i told jen and shes like she was only 5 months. i said no im 5 months. jen tells me shes 7 months i said no jen youre 8 months. youre 32 weeks. i told her how upset i was via text from the bathroom and shes like well she wasnt that far. i said jen she has a goddam death certificate. i told her even if you dont like her that much you should still feel horrible she lost her baby. losing a child and i know soem people dont say we lost a child - but i feel i lost a child. at times when people ask me how many i have i am tempted to say id have had 3. i dont not to illicit questions... but i do feel like im having my 3rd. not my 2nd.

well i have to go. the weather is bad so i have to try to leave early to make up for the accidents out there. i hope you are inside and staying there. i wish i was. kates going to my friends house tomorrow so.. i guess ill call on the way home. ill talk to kate too just so she knows im here.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Oh, I did miss your point about Dr a. I was convinced it was him who told the patient that you were pregnant. Sorry about that. I get it now. The issue was about making you look unprofessional or unethical or both, making it look like you would hurt a patient to get back at them. (Not sure why I didn't get that before...but now i do.) He certainly would not like you doing that to him, that is fir certain! But you know; I wonder. With all the pent up anger he has about so many things I wonder how those feelings might come out, and if it would ever come out on a patient. So, could this be a bit of his own projection of feelings about life, that taking something out on another when you have a bad day, week, year or life is an option. Hard to say, but it certainly gives credence to how he responded to you.

 

Somehow I just do not see you malingering at work and making up a PTSD excuse. You are too self reliant and self determined to do that. You would never do that because of who you are. But the thought has to cross your mind. And, there seems to be very little that this hospital does to protect you. I know as a manager that I would quickly change a schedule, even using another excuse, to get a pregnant woman out of potential risk. Where you work there is risk of this nature. It isn't like oh, this or that might happen. It has happened. And, the types of people you see could easily act out in a physical way. They do not care...and apparently neither does the hospital.

 

I think it would only be normal to feel fear and everything else under the sun when you hear about a woman who went through the same trauma you did. Having a baby die that far into pregnancy cannot be simple or easy, physically or emotionally. How she handled it was very emotionally moving too, and hearing that and being pregnant and having a similar history it is no wonder you went away to cry. That is so intense, so personal, so moving. It is hard not to feel for her intensely and you have so much more in common with her. No wonder the feelings were/are so present and strong.

 

It is also common, just as an encouragement, to not feel the baby move for very long interval of time. Some women do not feel the baby for weeks and week and are often worried about the baby. You are not alone in this, but also know that everything so far points to a healthy pregnancy and good outcome. It would be normal to feel concerned about your own health and the baby after hearing this story; it is powerful just to read it, let alone know the woman as you do, personally.

 

What do you say to her when she returns? I am really sorry to hear about what happened. Coming from you, a woman who knows the fears and has lived it...even without sharing a thing, the way you will say it she will feel supported. You do not have to feel anything negative around her. You might feel weird, but you also understand, and that is more to her I would imagine than knowing you are pregnant.

 

You did lose a child. That much is for certain. It is like you had three, not two. I agree completely. And Jen is being very harsh on this woman I think. She has no idea. you do.

 

It isn't raining here. It hasn't rained hard in a while. It is dry actually. But, be careful. Call Kate and try not to worry. Be safe. Steven

 

 

 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steve. i had another difficult night. i ran and ran. and was juts really busy. i had a good number of indigent drunk hostile psych pts. not all were all but varied in their issues as people are. well i d/cd one of these people. and i didnt want to. i told dr a i didnt want to. he was so determined that he gave me the monye to send the pt back to her home and when he did i said quietly but he heard me.. copy cat. he laughed and said nothing. we stayed away from each other really. i did speak with dr b, but more on that later. if theres time. so this lasy is in her 50s and has no teeth. yep. like 2 teeth. well she was spekaing quickly and rambling to me but did know who she was and where she was. she did not know the date. she was complaining of urinary symptoms. we got her urine it was dirty, i gave her po abx and she was to be d/cd. doesnt sound so bad does it? well she was dfef odd. like she had a psych hx. anyway dr a says ok lets d/c her. so i ask the pt do you have medicaid? she says no i have no insurance. i look and sure enough she doesnt. so she also states i have no money and my clothes are wet. i had no clothes to give her but dr a said he would pay for her to go back by cab. so i figured ok in 20 min shell be home she can shower and change and i actually tell her this. she gets her d/c papers, i tell her fill your prescription, and heres the money for the cab. theyll be here in 15 min or so. so she does all this and leaves. i have the thought well i hope she doesnt buy drugs, but i mean i cant hold everyones hand can i ? ok so im giving report and im so tire di feel like i could fall asleep in the chair. im working with this male nurse james. he used to work there but now works at another hosp nearby and does ot with us. well the charge nurse says did you d/c a pt named.. XXXXX XXXXX. (not her name) so i say yes why? they say shes at the wrong address. so im like well let me get her address. so i find the chart and i tell them and shes at the address in her chart. so they tlel me i sent her to the wrong address. so im like well its the same one as her chart. so im told by the supervisor come to the nsg office and bring the chart and write an incident report. and now im on the verge of tears steven b/c i didnt want to d/c her but im so tired of having problems i didnt fight with him after trying to discuss it 2 x with him and his volatile moods. he said shes fine theres no reason for her to stay. so apprently the address is of a woman with the same name as the pt. both XXXXX XXXXX. so it seems that registration put her as a different pt. so james says make the report as vague as possible. so im liek ok. im at the point i cant think and he says im writing this shit. so he does and its like 3 lines. as per nsg supervisor pt at wrong address. prior to d/c confirmed pts address, pt given money and told where to wait for cab, pt sent to address in chart. he puts himself as a witness and says he spoke with her too. i thanked him for it and he said look why do you need to go to the nsg office? youre 15 min past your shift. wtf is that is what he says. and hes willing to back me up. he says you didnmt do anything wrong and f**k that. he says if you go down there and they get rude or keep questioning you tell them you want a union rep. so i say ok. and the form says jame sis a witness even though hes not. he says if they try to f**k you dont say anything ask for youre rep. peter asked m e if i asked the woman if it was her address and well honestly i didnt. but the cab drivers ask when they get in b/c ive had to take the pts out to the cab and they say where we going? i go downt here and im so nervous. i sit while the superviror is tlaking to people inmm admmsion/ registartion. i call peter to tell him and he gets angry quickly he tells it is a big deal its a big mistake. so i said again yes its the one that was on the chart. so he says did you con firm it? so i say yes. b ut i really didnt. well they made me call the police to look for her snd i felt like honestly did soemthing wrong to this lady. anyway, i have to call 911 make the report wait for the cops to call or show up, im an hr past thr shift finally pd calls i giuv e them the description. so they have 2 cars look for her. and theyre going to bring her in or bring her to her home.. another twist to the story is that the other pt who has the same name is XXXXX XXXXX saying the pt is confused and wandering around. - outside im assuming. she was so angry the nsg supervisor hung up on her. and then she called the day shift charge nurse and she ended up hanging upon her too. colleen luckily had a light assignment and stayed wiht me and told me dotn you dare cryt liz and take it easy. so james writes the incident report , anyway peter says its a big deal b/c i sent the pt to the wrong place and i said no i didnt its the place on her chart. its not like i picked up XXXXX XXXXXs chart and sent her to his address. its almost 9am and another day shift nurse megahn goes to peter and says shes back tonight and she 90 min past the shift waiting for pd to call her back with her status. so peter says ok lizzie. go home. i give him over everything and apologize. i dotn know if that was smart or stupid. but i did. i dont feel its my fault b/c essentially shes under the wrong chart. i do feel mad that maybe she shouldve been kept for psych. so what do you think? i f**ked up? i mean the other nurse said hed back me up and said i didnt do anything wrong and theyre trying to f**k me (sound familiar?) and rob said liz the resitartion people f**ked up. forget it. but ill tell you im going to tell dr aoff tonight. dr b will be gettimg an earful too.
i mean she wasnt there for altered mental.. but. i dont know steven. i mean she either was adrug abuser or a schizphrenic i think. she rambled about how she doesnt have a big a;ppetite and she doesnt need to eat much and thats how she stays thin (without any question to lead to the conversation..) but her speech was very hard to understand. im thinking its the missing teeth but she also seemed severly indigent and not educated. she refered to her vagina as down there. and whispered when she said that. "i have an infection down there. " i dont know, we cnat keep everyone can we? its like ive asked before... where does the hand holding stop? should i have taken her to my home myself? i mena i dont think psych wouldve fixed her enough to say ok shes good. i think shed be set out the same way in 24 hrs... she didnt say shed hurt herself or anyone else...
oh apparently kim asked dr b out again... and hes stalling. and then it turns out he likes orange and lemon starburst and i like the pink and red ones. so hes sorting them and i say fine i like the pink and red the most. and he says see? we can get married. we like the opposite starburst. theres no waste.
and he said i hope you dont tell kim everything we say. i said i dont tell her and i dont tell you anything she says. im a good friend. and he said yes i know you are. i told him everything we say is always between us and no one else. he said yeah i know.
ps kates at kathys and kathy kept her daughter bella at home and kates playing having a very good time. they have a cta and kate love the cat and is apparently gentle. the girls were sitting together on a lounge chair when rob left looking at abook. i sent enough food for both girls to eat all 3 meals the same so kathy wouldnt have to worry like isabellas upset she doesnt have chicken nuggets or what not.. she said shes tkaing them to the park. im so tired i need to nap steven. talk later
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
Get back to you soon...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Is it possible to start a new thread with this last question? I know that is a pain, but I can't see your question easily any more...

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steven. i opened a new question. my question gotcut off though... and apparently they havent found this pt yet.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
I will look on the main board. I will try to capture all of this question, no matter what made it or not to the new one. Steven

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