Very generic info. I have no health insurance so can't "shop around". Serotonin not prob; dr did get proscribe a drug for that that did nothing.
Have really tried most of what you said; am well read but what seems to help others isn't doing me any good. I don't think I can make it through any long term try; feel like I am degrading daily. I was desparate; looking for some new insight.
Hi there! I am a licensed psychotherapist and thought that I would offer my suggestions; maybe it will help you and maybe not, but I'm here to try!
I am attaching a link to some information about how to improve one's ability to cope with setbacks and frustration: http://www.thechangeblog.com/coping-skills/
It is basically a question of something we call "self-talk"... the sometimes very quiet but powerful things that we say to ourselves all day long that affect our thoughts and eventually our feelings about certain situations. When feelings of frustration overwhelm you, it is a good bet that your self-talk at that moment is very pessimistic... such as "we can't get through this", "I won't make it", "there is no way to solve this", etc... Now, you aren't always conscious of this talk, so you aren't doing it on purpose. The trick is to become aware of what you are telling yourself, and then consciously argue the point with yourself! So, if your inner voice says, "this is a catastrophe", you will have to decide if it truly is, or if it is simply a setback, and that you are smart and strong and you can weather the storm. Telling yourself that you are capable and strong despite setbacks will help to strengthen your resiliency and ability to 'bounce back".
Life is a series of curve balls; taking care of yourself is an extremely important factor, such as good nutrition, exercise and sleep. As was mentioned prior, hormones can have a huge effect on mood, and keeping the body chemistry in balance through eating well, getting exercise (increases endorphins & serotonin naturally), and getting enough rest can only help with how you feel physically.
Let me know if you found this helpful at all; and if you want further information on increasing coping skills and resiliency, I would be happy to try to help! My best to you!
While I think your advice is good, I still feel I may be past the "just pull yourself up" stage. I have tried but the curve balls seem to be fast balls. My husband has announced he's gay and will only stick around if he can go off with his guy friends whenever. Several years ago my father choked my mother to death in front of me. And I have a diagnosed symdrome that when I get upset my already low blood pressure plummets and I pass out.
I have tried to cope with all this but I think the current rash of problems, bad luck has pushed me over my limit. Is the only answer to seek intense therapy in a different setting?
Though I am a retired electrical engineer I have no health insurance to pay for such and my husband has spent most of our savings on this house that is the cause? of my current melt-downs.
I am crying rightnow; not hormones, change of life was 10 years ago.
I really have tried what you and the prev. person suggested; that's why am so frustrated. I am an emotional wreak but am also extremely intelligent, still.
Wow... the information you just provided gives your initial question a whole new meaning. You are dealing with more than what you led on, which is why I think the initial advice was more tailored to the initial question. With the very severe trauma of your mother's death, there can be some serious post-traumatic stress disorder issues that are rearing their head, and with the marital bomb that was just dropped, you are dealing with stress levels that are off the charts. I am truly sorry for all of the despair you must be feeling and I do believe that in order to recover from these intense past scars, there may be a need to find a therapist who has experience in trauma-related therapy. As money is an issue, there are many online, free chat rooms for people struggling with depression. These groups can give you a place to tell your story and get support and advice, to hopefully work through all the complicated feelings that are probably arising inside of you everytime you experience anything even slightly traumatic now. However, this doesn't replace the help of a good therapist; there are agencies everywhere who do pro-bono work or provide financial assistance, and it never hurts to ask if there is any financial assistance available.
With the current situation of building a home and finding out your husband is gay, you will need time and support to manage through. As I know that money for therapy is an issue, I will say that reminding yourself that this situation is temporary and trying to distract yourself from the pain by staying in this moment, five minutes at a time, and not thinking too far ahead will help you to cope in the immediate time. Trying to focus on breathing slowly and deeply when you feel overwhelmed, and focusing on keeping your body calm can help. I am attaching a link to some progressive muscle relaxation which can help you to center yourself when you feel overwhelmed.
I know it may sound trite, but getting control over your body and it's physical reactions can ease the emotional pain involved. And, making the decision of what to do regarding the future is not going to be easy, but quite possibly the answer will make itself apparent soon. Although I cannot solve this mess for you, I can help support you to develop the courage and strength to face it and survive it. And you are allowed some time right now for grief; you are facing a potential loss, and grief is a natural & expected reaction... one that is exhausting and will knock the wind right out of your sails. Allow yourself to hurt, and treat yourself with all the care and compassion that you can; do whatever you find to be nurturing and comforting for yourself, ie.. warm baths, soft clothing, etc... and take this one step at a time. People have survived unimaginable circumstances when they connect with their inner strength to do so; and you can, too!! I am here to support you as I am able; just let me know what else I can do!