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Alicia_MSW
Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Specializing in mental health counseling
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When I broke up with my first girlfriend (5 yrs ago), I ended

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When I broke up with my first girlfriend (5 yrs ago), I ended up emotionally withdrawing myself quite a bit. I was really distraut by the breakup and my coping mechanism was just to void myself of emotion so I wouldn't feel the pain. I think this lack-of-emotion has become a larger issue in my life now and I find myself not able to feel much emotion with the awesome girl I'm dating now. What can I do/ what type of therapy/ who can I talk to, to work out my issues regarding lack of emotion in my life?
Hello,

I'm Alicia. Thanks for your question, I'm happy to help you today.

It's not uncommon to withdraw emotionally after a painful breakup, especially since it was your first girlfriend - experiences like this can stay with you (on some level) for your entire life. However, since you feel like the issue has grown into a much larger problem, it can be helpful to take a deeper look at what's going on, emotionally speaking. It sounds like you've developed a somewhat understandable fear of intimacy from the previous hurt caused by that relationship and you're afraid to fully let down your guard with your new girlfriend. I think it's great that you are willing to pursue therapy, and I believe that it can help you gain some insight and make some positive changes so that you will be able to connect with your girlfriend on a deeper level. The best thing to do would be to seek counseling from a therapist who specializes in interpersonal therapy. You can read more about this type of treatment here:
https://www.valueoptions.com/mc/eMember/typesOfPsychotherapy.do

If you are interested, you can find a therapist in your area through this website (use the advanced search option and choose 'interpersonal psychotherapy' where it says type of therapy):
http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

You might also find it helpful to read "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" by XXXXX XXXXX, if you want some more information on the fear of intimacy and how you can overcome it.

I hope that helps, and I wish you luck. Please let me know if you need additional assistance.
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