I'm Alicia. Thanks for your question, I'm happy to help you today.
I'm sorry to hear about the level of distress you're experiencing over this situation with your husband. On the one hand, it's not so unusual that he walks away during an argument, as sometimes, it's necessary to take a breather and get some space to prevent such arguments from escalating further. However, in my opinion, it's not the greatest idea that he chooses to involve your daughter in your private life all the time. In terms of what happens between a married couple, it's usually best and advisable to keep certain things private, and it seems inappropriate to me that your husband shows your adult children the text messages that you are sending to him. It seems to me that he's trying to rustle up support for his "side" of things by involving them to this extent, but it's entirely unfair to you that he does this and it seems that it's not serving any benefit. In fact, I think this is just making matters worse, and if he wants to work on your marriage and try to improve things, then he needs to be able to discuss his issues directly with you, without involving your children. I would suggest that you either talk to him directly about how you're feeling about this or (if he won't listen to you) that you write a letter to him explaining how this is impacting you, your health and your relationship. Sometimes, you won't be able to resolve things on your own, however. If this is the case, it's advisable to consult a qualified mental health professional - a couples counselor, preferably, but your husband has to be willing to agree to go, too, of course - so that you can discuss things with a professional, neutral third party who can act as a mediator and help you both come to a happy middle ground where you can possibly start to work on the issues that are causing you both such grief.
In any case, I'd suggest that you consult a counselor or psychologist on your own to help you deal with the intense anxiety
, anger and frustration this situation is causing you. If you're starting to suffer physical symptoms (stomachaches, sleep problems, etc) then it's even more important that you seek professional help for yourself, and especially if you don't have much social support (and it sounds like you don't.) It's very, very hard to deal with a situation like this on your own, and it's not really so strange that you're feeling the way you're feeling. You can find a licensed mental health professional in your area on this website:
You can use this website to find a couples counselor, if your husband is willing to participate, and also to find an individual therapist, which may be the option you have to start with. In any case, you should not have to tolerate his behavior. However, remember that it may be the case that he's not able to hear what you want to say - in this case, writing a letter explaining to him how he's affecting you is probably the best option, because he can read it on his own time and his own terms and he won't be able to react instantly to you by walking away or ignoring what you're saying.
I hope this information is helpful and that you will be able to find a counselor soon. However, if you need additional assistance, please feel free to reply to this message. Best wishes.