Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
I am sorry that you felt the answer did not help. Is there anything I can do to provide you with a more helpful answer?
When a person hurts you like this, it is natural to feel certain things, including pain, betrayal and confusion. In order to get past this, you have to go through specific steps towards resolution. The first step is to figure out exactly what she owes you. If it's necessary, write it down. It can be as specific as you would like and will express exactly (even if unrealistic) what she owes you. Once you have determined what she owes you, you are onto the second step.The second step is to take a moment in time and to release the debt that you described above. This will be something that you say out loud. For example, on June 15th at 1 pm I let go of the debt that my girlfriend owes me for what she did. You will not feel better when you do this and your mind will occasionally take you back to your feelings. When it does, remind yourself that the debt she has created with you has been released. As you do this and remind yourself that you have let go of what she owes you, you will not be saying that it is ok. Instead, you will be releasing her from the debt your mind keeps reminding you of. This way, your feelings will fade and you will truly be able to forgive her. This will take a little bit of time but releasing her and the process of healing can take place in a moment. If you want to talk more, please let me know before you rate your experience as negative again. I want to you feel you have had your question answered. Kate
A debt is something you feel someone owes you. And when your girlfriend cheated, she took your trust and caused you pain. This is the "debt" she owes you and what keeps you from moving on and feeling better. Your pain is deep and that is understandable. But in order to move on, letting go of the debt (and the pain and anger) is important. And only you have the power to do that.
It sounds like things are going well. As long as you feel that you are comfortable with how she is responding to this, then it is ok at any pace. The key here is her ability to regain your trust and your willingness to accept her efforts. And it is perfectly fine to be thorough about it. That is, you can ask her questions and be sure you are comfortable with each situation (such as where she is and who she is with). And I think you will find that your trust rebuilds as you go along.
May I kindly request you rate me again for the effort so the negative is removed (three or more stars)? Thank you!