Thank you for your reply.
I can imagine how sad
and anxious you must have felt about this situation.
It sounds like your husband of 14 years have been addicted to online sexual communication with other women.
I think he has emotional problems leading to this addictive behavior.
He may benefit from working with a psychologist specializing in addiction.
Sex, food, internet pornography, and spending can all become addictive and, because of their unavoidable presence in one's life, abstinence is not always a solution. Changing one's thinking and behavioral processes from addictive back to controllable and health is not easy, but often with help, can be accomplished. He will need to learn to control the addictive, compulsive impulses and to retrain his thinking about sexuality.
Many adults with his problems may have dysfunctional beliefs like: "I am unlovable the way I am" "It is not possible to have my needs met with another person" "Sex is the most important need in my life" .
Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) can be helpful for your husband in changing his own maladaptive thought patterns that may continue to feed his addiction. He or you may find a psychologist specializing in addiction and CBT. He may ask his primary care doctor for a referral to a psychologist/specialist. Or he may contact his insurance company for a referral to a psychologist on the panel of his insurance company.
I would recommend him to work with a specialist weekly for 5 months or longer.
Trust is already broken.
It's up to you whether you forgive him and give him another chance or not.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,